When did you start mat leave?

[OutCuteBaby567]

I'm due to start mat leave at 38 weeks, C section planned at week 39. But...I'm 32 weeks and absolutely knackered. My job is physically easy, wfh as much as I like (although I hate WFH!!) but mentally very taxing, I'm a solicitor so lots of filings, deadlines, small daily shit that if I miss, I get my clients in trouble for, lots of admin, and my brain just.does.not.work.

I'm British but live abroad atm, I only get 20 weeks mat leave. I really really wanted to work until week 38 but I can't hack it. AIBU? Suck it up somehow? How?

I sleep an average of 2-3 hours per night between itching from cholestatis, pain from PGP, and bathroom trips. The second bathroom trip of the night really wakes me up. Writing this down I don't know how I'm still going.

It's up to you as only you know how you feel but if you can carry on for a bit longer I'd really try. I worked until the week before I gave birth, and I was on my feet (no idea how I did it) but time with your child is so precious I'm sure you'll want more time off when they're here.

I stopped at 36 weeks as I just mentally couldn't keep up and I just wanted to be at home. I found a lot of my responsibilities stressful towards the end and was conscious that I couldn't perform up to standard.

I was also finding work was taking all my energy / mental capacity so I was struggling to get prepared for baby - basically failing at everything.

I also wanted to have time for just me and husband, time to relax and go for relaxing lunches, time to enjoy the last few days of child-freeness.

If you're finding work difficult for medical reasons (e.g. the PGP) can you take some sick leave? I would delay mat leave as long as you can do you get longer with baby!

Started with 2 weeks of A/L at 35 weeks with mat leave officially from 37 weeks. As soon as I left I was napping every afternoon, I remember one day meeting NCT group for lunch and by the time it was over just being ready to drop. I'm so glad i was able to finish when I did.

@JC89 not sure depending on the country but here if you go on sick leave for any reason past a certain point it automatically triggers your maternity leave starting.

OP, can you talk to work and say you think you’re going to start making mistakes and that you would be happy to reduce your hours to keep working rather than go off now. They might prefer half of you than none, if it’s at all possible and won’t affect your maternity pay of you can take the hit now

@TimeGoesBySoSlowlyForThoseWhoWait In England it's 36 weeks when maternity leave is triggered, but might be different where OP is.

@JC89 I can take sick leave and I have taken a couple but problem is no one covers my work. So if I take off today sick, I have to work a 14 hour day tomorrow to make up for it, and the work is now urgent because it's a day late. And I can’t physically work 14 hours anymore, I just can't.

Who are you handing work over to? By this stage I’d be handing work over so you are prepared for any eventuality.
are you getting any help with PGP? Worth trying to manage your pregnancy symptoms even for your own mental and physical well being

I think I finished at 36 weeks, expecting a planned c-section at 38 weeks. It was a good thing I did, because we needed to get a few things ready for baby and my section was moved forward to 37 weeks. I have 2 chronic illnesses and I was absolutely knackered.

@AreYouBrandNew I have to find cover for about 30-40 ongoing projects/clients so it's a slow process as I have to go round calling favours from other associates and the management is zero help. My firm is horrific (nice people, good work, incompetent management), I was about to hand in my notice when I found out I was pregnant!

I am getting help with PGP and cholestatis but, as everyone knows, there are no "fixes". Yes, it alleviates the worst of the discomfort but it doesn't remove it. So still no sleep.

Honestly I found pregnancy really tough. I felt physically far better when I had the baby. Take sick time if you can and look after yourself and prioritise your health. I was being all worried about work on my first pregnancy until my blood pressure went crazy and I was admitted to hospital. Work coped as they had no other choice.

I worked up to 40 weeks as I wanted as long as possible with DC.

DC1 I was working FT and finished 8 weeks before.
DC2 I was working a 2 day week (14 hrs) and finished 4 weeks before.
No health concerns just wanted to chill in the build up to the baby each time.

I stopped work 4 weeks before due date. Went back 10 weeks after the birth.

Only got 14 weeks maternity leave back in the 1990s.

36 weeks with both, I was a staff nurse at the time and bloody exhausted on my feet for 12/14 hours a day.

It’s tough tho, 20 weeks isn’t very long for maternity leave? I’d be concerned going off now will only leave you 12 weeks maternity leave- baby unlikely to be sleeping through before your due back at work?

Maybe work could make some reasonable adjustments? In all honestly if I WFH I’d be pushing through abit longer in view of your leave.

I assume you mean the UK here not England. Maternity leave laws are not any different in Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland.

How is that helpful?? Fantastic you had a great pregnancy and job you could keep working at. Gold star for you. The OP is struggling and a lot of people have to finish work earlier, it’s doesn’t for one second mean they love their baby less than you or not want to spend time with them. They are protecting that baby by not getting ill or collapsing on the floor.

The day my c section was scheduled

OP asked when people took theirs.

@Pippa12 sorry my OP is not clear at all, I don't mean go off on mat leave now, I'm thinking more like 36 weeks?

Because of the short mat leave, every woman in my office works until the day they drop but I feel like such a weakling to consider going early. Everyone was surprised I even planned to go at 38, not 39 weeks....

Work have made plenty of adjustments but they can't take away the stress / job itself. You do need to be mentally "with it", otherwise stuff goes wrong. My workload has already been eased. I'm just a zombie and I can’t see how I can keep doing this until 38 weeks.

Ah don't be silly you're not a weakling. Take it off as soon as you want to. It's your right and maybe you'll be the "trailblazer" for those after you. Every pregnancy and every woman is different

No one should even query it if you go early. Many women have to for medical reasons, or choose to.

@TimeGoesBySoSlowlyForThoseWhoWait it's ok, I have asked for opinions. Maybe I need to toughen up a bit. Was hoping someone would say their sleep got magically better towards the end 😄 a rush of energy and adrenaline? Probably not. How can pregnancy make you so tired and so sleep deprived at the same time??!!!

I am worried about my stress levels right now. But also my career, and also money and.also time with baby.

Hands up I had never really understood the struggle of motherhood and career before (and baby's not even here yet!)