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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not sure which part time offer is better

35 replies

arrowd · 10/07/2024 10:37

Morning everyone, looking for a little advice here.
My lovely DD has just turned 1, I’m a teacher in a senior school. As part of my return to work we agreed I would return home part time, 3 days a week or the equivalent. I have been given 2 set ups which are possible but I’m not sure which will be better and they want me to confirm by tomorrow evening. Obviously for timetabling reasons I won’t be able to change this once the school term has started or at least not with any ease.

Offer 1 - Work full days Monday, Wednesday and Friday, all day Tuesday and Thursday off.
Offer 2 - Work full day Monday and Friday, half day Tuesday and Thursday and all day Wednesday off.

We have 7 Lessons a day, half days would be staying until the end of the 4th Lesson (about 12.20) but leaving before lunch etc.

Now I’m unsure which to pick, DH thinks the second offer is better as he thinks shorter nursery days are better than long ones. I do agree that once DD is school age (though hopefully we will have another baby before then) the second offer would make more sense (breakfast club is cheaper than after school club and being available straight from school to do all the clubs etc. 3 days a week). But right now I’m thinking 2 full days off, no stress of getting up, dropping DD at nursery and getting to work might be nicer.

So AIBU to wonder what others would pick in this situation, the pay will be the same either way (equivalent of 3 full days).

OP posts:
Nothanksnottoday · 10/07/2024 10:41

Offer 1!

Birch101 · 10/07/2024 10:43

I would go for the 3 full days so option 1, even solely based on the fact that groups and classes for under 5s tend to be more morning based so by having 2 full days off you'll have scope to do more things with LO over the 3-4yrs before school starts, I'd then look at altering hours

theeyeofdoe · 10/07/2024 10:43

Definitely 1. Childcare will be cheaper too.

Ineffable23 · 10/07/2024 10:45

Offer 1 for sure, though I would probably prefer Thursday and Friday off instead if it were possible.

WiredForRobins · 10/07/2024 10:45

I actually agree with your Dh, you would still get all day Wednesday off too which will feel like a nice reprieve in the middle of the week.

Going forward you would be able to pick your DD up 3 days a week from school instead of 2. As you say breakfast club is cheaper than after school. My friend's nursery only did full days but it meant on half days she could decide when to pick her Ds up; being able to squeeze a couple of things in rather than a last minute rush which was usual on her long days.

Nursery is only for a few years and school years are much longer (she says to an actual teacher Grin ) so I would want that 3 days of collecting rather than 2 and I was a sahm with lots of parents who worked part time.

noblegiraffe · 10/07/2024 10:45

Having fewer mornings where you have to get up and out of the house with a baby early doors will be less stressful.

Would agree that option 2 is better once they're in school and you have to get up and out of the house anyway.

noblegiraffe · 10/07/2024 10:46

I'm assuming they will reassess each year so you could switch to 2 once DC is in school.

tulipsunday · 10/07/2024 10:50

I would go for the two full days off - I was a teacher and did a similar half day finish some days and it was stressful - things would come up sometimes and it would be hard to leave on time.

Having two full days to do something with your little one will be nice

Original poster
arrowd · 10/07/2024 10:52

Thank you everyone. We can definitely reassess at the end of every school year so no need to think too far ahead.
I’m certain (and made it clear) I don’t want Monday or Friday off, I don’t get the joy of a long weekend and DH works from home these days, I’ve found over the last year I’ve ended up feeling like I need to take DD out on those days so she can’t interrupt DH. Also we finish for holidays on Thursday’s quite often and Bank holiday Mondays so at least if I work Monday and Friday I get paid for those sneaky days off!!

OP posts:
Phineyj · 10/07/2024 10:54

Offer 1! Unless you want to work full time for part time pay.

Been there; done both.

BurbageBrook · 10/07/2024 10:55

I think I would take the half-days off. Nicer for your DD to have shorter days in nursery.

2chocolateoranges · 10/07/2024 10:58

I’d rather have 4 full days free to spend with my child . Would much prefer only to be in work 3 days rather than 4, something will crop up and you’ll be asked to stay later on those days so for me it would be option 1.

HaPPy8 · 10/07/2024 11:01

BurbageBrook · 10/07/2024 10:55

I think I would take the half-days off. Nicer for your DD to have shorter days in nursery.

I agree with this I think.

SquigglePigs · 10/07/2024 11:05

I'd go for offer 2. You get to spend decent amounts of time with DD on 3 days instead of just two.

I played around with my hours quite a bit when I went back to work after having my DD (fortunately work were very flexible!).

I started working 4 days, with Wednesdays off. Then swapped it to 4 days spread over 5 - so 2 afternoons off instead of 1 full day. Then cut my hours a bit so I worked 2 full days a 3 half days.

I loved the half days - felt like I got a really good amount of time with her, picking her up from nursery about 1-1.30pm after her nap, and on more days of the week.

Also the getting out of the house in the morning thing was never a big deal for us because DD was always up for the day not much after 6am so mornings were never a rush. If your DD usually sleeps in and it'll be a rush in the mornings then that could be part of the consideration for option 1.

Ohnobackagain · 10/07/2024 11:19

@arrowd as nice as 1 full and two half days off sounds, I think there is scope for ending up leaving later and later and eating into time off … whereas 2 full days off means as you aren’t on the premises at all and can’t get roped into anything.

DoublePeonies · 10/07/2024 11:28

3 full days.
You will get caught trying to leave at lunch if you work half days.

Hecatoncheires · 10/07/2024 11:32

Offer 1 sounds better. I could envisage ending up feeling stressed about getting away on the half-days. Nothing worse than having to clock-watch to the minute. Plus the bonus of having two days where you don't have to rush out the door. That's worth a bluddy fortune in my eyes!

Tohaveandtohold · 10/07/2024 11:40

Offer 1 definitely for me. I’ll rather work 3 days and have 4 days with dd. Not having to wake up early an extra day a week will sway it for me. Also , a long day at nursery is cheaper than 2 short days based on all the experiences I’ve had. In my son’s current nursery, a half day is £45 and a full day is £62. 2 half days will be £90 making it a more expensive option so look at what the nurseries close to you offer

TheDefiant · 10/07/2024 11:47

As a teacher there will always be something that keeps you back on your half days. Maybe something a pupil needs or a meeting scheduled at lunch time that you really shouldn't miss.

Avoiding the school building entirely on 2 full days is a very strong way of avoiding any accidental extra work.

It might be easier for colleagues and pupils to adjust to as well.

LottieMary · 10/07/2024 11:51

Agree with full days - as a teacher you’ll either get held up at lunchtime or be on a mad rush. Also consider when you’re going to do put of hours pinning; I ring fence an hour after two of my four full days so I know I can have some protected time I’m not rushing home then doing it in the evening

cloudy477654 · 10/07/2024 11:57

I would do offer 1 100%, I did 3 full days when my DC were small, I think half days would have just been harder and more unsettling for DC. Also our nursery half day pick up time was 1.15, later than that and they started charging late pickup fees so finishing at 12.20 doesn't give you much time to collect. Also factor in commuting costs which you would need to cover 4 days but on 3 days pay with offer 2!
Plenty of time to renegotiate in a few years when DC is school age when something like 3 full and 2 half days might be better.

oneplustwoplustwoplusone · 10/07/2024 12:29

Offer 1

I find afternoons with preschool children can be the least 'quality' time. Mine napped 1-3ish until they were 2/2.5. When they dropped/were dropping naps afternoons were hard due to being tired and grumpy sometimes!

I prefer out in the morning and then home/chill in the afternoon. As DC get older also gives you the time for bigger days out theme parks etc.

YellowphantGrey · 10/07/2024 12:36

I would go for option 1. 3 full days and two full days off.

Only because in my experience, your half day work never ends on time. People seem to really struggle with others doing half a day and think that half a day means you're then free to quickly do something for them.

Two full days off are then yours to do as you wish and you will get more benefit from that.

Bjorkdidit · 10/07/2024 12:41

Agree with the 3 days. If your DH thinks shorter days in nursery will be better for DD, what's his plan to adjust his hours to accommodate this? He could start late or finish early for example.

isthismylifenow · 10/07/2024 12:43

I'd go for option 1. So you have less stress two mornings a week instead of one. Depending on how far you need to travel, less travel expenses.

I have worked half day positions and there are plenty times that my day didn't end when it was meant to.

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