Hello all, before getting into discussions with my husband, would like to get some advices from here. So my father in law is unwell, suspected cholangiocarcinoma and in the preliminary diagnosis stage. He is in India and we are in UK. Me and my husband work full time (I work from home and he travels 3 days a week to office). We both are still in the probation period as we both have gone through redundancies in our companies 2 months back. We have 3 kids under 7. My husbands.elder brother has flown from US to India to be with my fil and now looks like he wants my husband to come there so that he can leave. My husband wants to go for 3 weeks in August leaving me and kids here as he wants to focus of his dad and the surgery. His brother's family is in India (his wife and kids) and they are supported in all ways by his in-laws, whereas I have no parents, lost mom and dad in the last 5 years and managed and managing all the pregnancies and deliveries alone. I love my in-laws and specially my fil and I have all the intention to support him by all means. Since I have some.expeiience in taking care of end of life care for my mom and dad, I was suggesting to appoint a carer who can help them and once the diagnosis is confirmed, we can discuss with the doctor about the further treatment plan and regime. Depending on the complication we can decide whether it is absolutely necessary to go or can we manage with the carer. The main reason for me saying this is because I can see that this is not going to end in another few weeks and he is going to need ongoing hospital visits and procedures to be taken. It is not a feasible idea for the sons to travel from US and UK every 3 months. I do not know whether to say these to my husband and even if I say I may sound.very rude. I do not know what to do. AIBU thinking that he shouldn't be leaving me with 3 kids alone here for an endoscopy procedure, rather should find a carer who can help. Also all 5 of us travelling is not affordable for us at the moment and I do not want to jeopardize my job as still just 1 month rolled on for both of us in the new job. Please advice thank you