Is this how life is for everyone or would you find this too much?

[pansal]

I feel like I am constantly having to communicate with someone at all times. It makes me really bloody miserable! I have a two year old and I work full time. Obviously I am 100% on it where my child is concerned and I think this is where my lack of patience comes in for anyone else! If I hear from family about mundane stuff in the day (calls about what size t shirt ds is now in for example), I honestly feel like I could bang my head against the wall! Then I’m bombarded with calls at work. Then it’s having to sort bills or speaking to some call centre. There’s so much more but I’m too exhausted to type. Is this a common feeling or have I just turned into a miserable git who is blowing things out of proportion?

Modern life, especially post-lockdown, is like this for many of us. I honestly don’t have a solution to offer, because I can’t imagine what it’s like having to factor in a little person who depends on you so very much.
Do you have a partner? If so could they be able to help spread the load a little?
If not, have you checked out any local groups via something like F acebook? Those tend to have quite lively discussions and events right on the doorstep.
It will get better, just have to focus on that

You are not a miserable git, at all. Life can be fucking exhausting, and there's no rest for the wicked when you have a two year old. I talk to so many people at work everyday I often wish my head would fall off so I could get a break for five fucking minutes.

It’s constant, I agree. And customer service is mostly awful now so one straightforward query takes 3 phone calls and an email to wrangle it. I’ve found that carving out an hour of life admin time every Friday means that it ticks over a little easier and some of the bigger and tricker things- eg new life insurance/remortgage, whatever, get done. It’s exhausting though- agreed.

Yanbu. I don't remember my parents doing half of what I need to do now on a daily basis

I took myself off the main (extended) family WhatsApp. No regrets. I am older than you though, not in danger of upsetting my parents any more.

Anyway, it was like a weight lifted from me.

My siblings and their partners can contact me directly if they need me.

Can you make things more efficient? What sorting of bills & calling call centres do you need to do? If you set up direct debits for bills then they more or less take care of themselves.

You are not being unreasonable. Life can be very unrelenting at times.

I don't have a solution. My way of coping when it got too out of control was lists. List everything that needs doing and prioritise the most urgent things, plus a couple of easy, quick things, each day. Only worry about these particular things. Everything else is on the list and won't get overlooked, but needs no brain power today.

Thanks everyone.

I do keep on top of it all but it just literally feels like every day I’m dealing with some shit. Some call to make, a form to fill in, someone contacting, texts going off about car mot being due, just really random small things but all the bloody time

Sounds normal to me.

Sounds pretty normal. Can you let your partner (if you have one) deal with some life admin? Other than that, well that's life isn't it? Maybe you need to organise things better - easy to say but it shouldn't be so hard you feel this resentful and overwhelmed.

It may be normal but it's still bloody awful every day

An you block out parts of your week where your phone is on DND, you turn off all devices and also schedule in things for you?
I found just having a hours swim or run to look forward to really helps.
I now hit the fuck off button in the evening
7.30 and it's a no from me.
Just no

You sound completely overwhelmed and like everything is beginning to feel like a demand on you. When did you last have a break from work? Do you have any holiday coming up? I wonder if you need a break.

I think it’s normal. I spend all day talking to people either in meetings, 1:1s, or feel like I’m counselling them on their personal problems.

So it’s hard when everyone else wants to talk about things too.

Think we all crave a bit of peace and quiet and me time.

This week I’ve ended up with a 7 day work week, 2 dressing up things at my youngest’s school I must have missed the notices for with the added bonus of a speech to prepare, my eldest’s Orthodontist appointment and sorting out my own GP stuff etc. Plus just over a week to pack for holiday. Bonkers.

Keep going … sooner or later it will ease up 😊

YANBU I have 4 dc, some days I feel like I've been sand blasted.
I muted the family chat, don't go on social media and very rarely choose to socialise.

DH, the kids, child related admin, work admin and the school run uses up just about all my patience and will to communicate 😆

I get this all the time. I can’t work out why some people seem to be able to cope with the volume of communication and still want more?! If I don’t reply to a friends text they’ll text me via a different message platform within 24 hrs asking if I got their message because it’s not been read! I’m like - yeah I’m just working / sick kids / life / running around…just leave me alone?!

I feel exactly the same! Every time I have to call someone for something I dread it because I know it’s going to be a whole complicated rigmarole. I swear since Covid customer service has just completely died.

Yep, but wait until your DC starts school and then you'll have the joy of school WhatsApp groups and endless school emails on top.

I put off sorting out things that involve a call centre. It always takes fucking ages and being passed around, because if I call you, it is not a simple query. I will check your website about this.
And I hate the expectation that you will reply to all whatsup messages or similar straight away. There is just do much. It is overwhelming.

I don't think you are a miserable git, I think the demands of having a 2 year old (as lovely as they are) and a full time job are taking their toll on you and there isn't an easy solution e.g. you can't just not have your child or your job.

Add in fucking awful customer service.
Rant.
I just want to speak to an actual person who can answer my question in 1 minute rather than go through the bot or Amy the virtual assistant or drill down 24 options only to get "we are busy please sod off you are valuable to us so please wait 45 minutes with this hold music which will be really quiet and then so loud your ear drums melt, or 'have you tried screaming into the wind looking online yoo thicko"
Rant over.

Big things don't get done (book hire car, visa for work travel) because of the 4 million small things, and then you go to bed and the bloody electric toothbrush is out of charge.

I don't know what the solution is. Prioritise I suppose. Write lists.

Ohhh, I agree! And I have a 4.5 months old baby, I'm exhausted. Yesterday, I wanted to book a facial with someone I've been going to for 10+years. She doesn't own her own place anymore, so she moved into a clinic. She told me to call the clinic reception, I did. Then I had to get back to her to confirm I made the appointment. Grrrrr, such a waste of time!!!!

The person at the call centre is most likely in a similar situation to you, just that everyone calling them has a problem or complaint.

IMO one of the big problems is that companies and the public sector have saved themselves money by making their customers do most of the admin. Everything involves filling in an online form. Don’t get me started on reply bots if you have an enquiry that’s not in the FAQs. I had to sort out a problem with a service I subscribe to a couple of months ago and it took about three hours of instant messaging, the first hour of which was just getting through to an actual person.

And the six emails every time you order something online. I want one reply telling me you’ve got my order, received payment and which day it will be delivered. That’s it.

OMG, yes, totally agree with this!

"We've got your order'
"We're working on your order"
"We're about to dispatch your order"
"We're dispatching your order"
"We've dispatched your order"
"Your order is on the way"
"Your order is about to be delivered"
"Your order has been delivered"
"Please fill in a survey about your order"

Aaaaaaaargh!