I am not a warm person. I’m direct, blunt, although not tactless (I will never be one of those rude people who tells people they look tired). I’m just matter of fact and impatient. I think I might be autistic.
I’m parenting neurodiverse children and I’ve made a lot of mistakes, especially with DC1 age 7. I’ve read a lot of books, listen to a lot of podcasts, I’m always trying to learn, but so much of the advice is about boundaries and expectations, but with warmth, connection. I acknowledge DC feelings, I don’t dismiss them, but it just doesn’t come naturally to me. It sounds generic “it’s upsetting when XYZ happens”. And my DC are often dysregulated so it’s every couple of minutes that they’re upset some days. I have some success with relating it to my own experiences (I hear this is an ND trait) from when I was little. But I just don’t feel my DC have a good attachment to me and I know it’s my fault, I’m trying my best to fake it til I make it but it seems like an act. My DC know this.