To be fed up of the judging on other parents?

[Foxxo]

Yes.. TAAT.. but on two threads today i've seen people claim that

1. Not getting up with your High School kids
2. Doing school run in PJs.

Mean you're an awful, neglectful parent who doesn't care about your children.

I'm disabled. I don't get up before her, I expect my 15yo to get herself up/make her own breakfast/get herself ready because i need time to get me up safely in the morning so i'm able to be functional to drive her to school.

I don't get dressed for the same reason.. availability of spoons.

Stop judging, or making out like you're perfect because you CAN do those things.

You have no clue what those parents are going through, what their health is like, how much sleep they had.

My kids are fine, they're fed, clothed, get to school in time every day, do their homework, i attend every appointment, every meeting, respond to every email.

My morning appearance, or lack of, is down to putting THEM FIRST.

Everyone makes judgements thousands of times a day, most of the time it’s not a choice, it happens in split seconds. You do it too.

People's opinions are not values, they're not an indictment of anything other than vocal, ill-informed and vacuous navel-gazing.

Try not to mind what other people think of you, there's nothing you can do about it and it's none of our business anyway.

Getting women to stop judging (other women particularly) would be as effective instructing the tide to stop coming in...

AnnelovesGilbert, but not everybody vocalises it or rushes to a forum to find like-minded chumps to validate it.

Judging in your head? Absolutely, every day for everybody. Nobody any the wiser.

Get up earlier and set a good example 🤷‍♀️

People make opinions (or judgements) based on specific circumstances.
Your circumstances are nothing like those described in the other threads and thus you shouldn't take them to heart.

That’s fine at age 15, of course it is. But no, at younger ages I don’t think it’s acceptable regardless of the circumstances for a parent not to get up with their DC in the morning and help with breakfast and getting ready, it’s neglectful.

I think it's when the parents simply can't be arsed to parent is when people judge.

Parents doing their best in difficult circumstances is an entirely different thing.

Judging others on first impressions is evolutionary instinct that none of us can control. I do it, you do it. I check myself several times a day when I’ve made a snap negative judgment that wasn’t fair or reasonable when I’ve had time to consider.

But sorry, turning up to the school gates in pyjamas is bone idle.

Don't be a judgemental bully on a forum and set a good example? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yes its annoying but I also think you have to just laugh at it.

I was once told that my kids were suffering because I took my xmas tree down fairly early after Christmas (despite it being up for the whole of Dec). I had a good chuckle at that.

I know it's easier said than done but you have to let the stupid roll off you.

Hanlon's razor is an adage or rule of thumb that states: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Think of it like avoiding a turd on the pavement- when you see it you dont inspect it, photograph it and tread in it or examine it, you just step around it and move on with your day.

Thats literally all it is- chuckle at it and move on 🤗

YANBU

It isn’t hard to understand that people are different and what works for some doesn’t work for others and people have different reasons and circumstances for their routines.

Some say it is natural to judge and I disagree. It is natural to notice differences but it is a choice to judge.

I wouldn’t take AIBU too seriously. Some posters will say there is something wrong with you if you don’t love chocolate because they do as if it is a personality flaw. That is how silly some can be.

Chumps?

Oh the irony! 🤣

I know it’s so petty and to think there are people actually noticing others. It’s enough to just focus on my own self, I assumed most people don’t even care about this…

and yes my 10 year old gets herself to school on her own because I have a toddler and a breastfeeding infant so I don’t sleep and I need sleep to be healthy and functional. She is capable and she enjoys her 5 min walk to school where they have breakfast for her in the morning

Yeah but who are you to judge the difference or what someone is going through. Just mind your own business unlesss you see criminal Chile abuse and need to intervene

no It could be clinical depression, and that is a deadly disease. Everyone has different energy level and if yours is so great you should use that energy to volunteer / help others instead of tear them down

Hanlon's razor is an adage or rule of thumb that states: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

^ thank you to the pp for this. Feels like a lightbulb moment. Never heard of it.

People will judge. In your case I had a similar setup. My 10 year old didn’t have to take themself to school because of my choices to have more children. It was up to them. It wasn’t because I had to…