Hi all
my son has a lives with order with my abusive ex & his horrible mum (gran) and my son shifts between them both. I had a major health event and I have since had a full recovery.
The judge did not set out specifics with contact because they put on an Oscar worth performance about the importance of contact with me, they said they wanted my son to have weekends with me, holidays and mid week
. It’s a year and a half onwards and contact hasn’t progressed at all, gran is in the driving seat and dad is nowhere to be seen in any meetings and so forth. Grand and I have polemic parenting styles.
Grab obvs had skin in the game given we have had prev court due to domestic abuse,
I want to ask for a return to my care, I have had a full recovery and I am more than capable.
The fear I have is that they will mange to alienate my son soon, by way of blocking contact.
Gran had refused Christmas calls, birthday calls, Mother’s Day calls and I have had to see my son in a contact centre for well over a year. Sw recommends unsupervised, yet gran wont budge.
My son is 5 and he is desperate to come home and every session he pleads to come home.
He doesn’t understand as he can see that I am better. We only have a short time before the supervision order ends, and the contact centre won’t be able to facilitate contact.
There is no reason for me to be there, I’ve not got any concerns and I haven’t had a single concern raised about me in all of this time, yet gran will not move, she claims that I will alienate my son from her and dad yet I never have instructed contact even when dad was arrested for assaulting me.
I’ve had the chance prev to have dad go to this centre but I agreed for gran to supervise in her home.
I am desperate for my son to come home. I’m in group therapy, one to one trauma therapy, I have no mental health issues, no criminal record, no alcohol or drugs involved,
just had a major health event and the support I needed to recover didn’t exist for me, despite that my son never missed school and had all his health needs met, I really can’t comprehend why this has happened. Though it was needed for respite;
never imagined they would take my son from me. I’m wishing for my son to return.
When this supervision order ends, that’s it. No help, there’s no interventions or support that can be offered to me because there’s no concerns.
Would I be unreasonable to suggest alienation as just one of the reasons to beg for my son to be returned to my care?
We all have PR and I really fought for gran not to have this power knowing she would abuse it. I don’t know what else I can do when I can’t prove that I won’t do something if I’ve never done it in the first place.
Everything she accused me of is what she is doing to me and my son. I don’t understand how she can stand by a crying child desperate for his mum yet allow me only an hour a week to see him.
It’s cruel, I couldn’t wish him a happy birthday or a merry Christmas, she won’t allow me to do parents reading at school, assemblies, sports days and so on. I’m so afraid that if I mentione alienation that it will go against me.
gran won’t allow my son to take any toys home bring him. Returns outfits I buy him, teddies and even birthday gifts. Once she returned various gifts I’ve given him in bin bags, she also makes endless false allegations that my son is distressed after contact and that role play with dolls caused him to ‘emotional regress and wet himself’ it was so intense that I was heard at a marac (not for the first time)
she seems to have some extraordinary influence over social services which I can’t fathom.
shr won’t engage in a family group conference. She wants to do it a week or two before the sw closes but given the obstruction so far I hold out zero hope.
I have put forward a contact plan going extremely slow, but she refuses it yet doesn’t come back with any suggestions of her own. She refused all indirect contact inc joining my own families weekly face time.
I’ve made mistakes and I have turned my life around. I’ve committed to dv courses and have insight now. I just want my son home.
What should I do?