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Should I let it go or not

5 replies

Pinksparkles84 · 08/07/2024 22:26

A bit of background but I recently handed my notice in at work. I had moved teams internally at work (from team A to team B - the same team but different work) and I asked my original boss if I could go back to my old role after 2 months of trialling it. I should have been more assertive in saying what I wanted but was open to a new challenge in team B. Unfortunately it wasn’t what I thought it would be and I went to HR in the first instance. The managers assistant called the shots and was incredibly challenging to work with, feeding back to manager of Team B by copying the manager into every email.

i had a meeting with HR and manager of Team A and was told that they got feedback from manager of team B. Apparently a load of so called issues were brought to their attention but this was all news to me. I ended up being put on a PIP and being told that they wanted to support me in getting better in Team B. I felt that it was just a ploy to get rid of me as I’d asked to go back to my original job. Team B manager gave some examples (saying about attention to detail etc but no solid specific examples). I called a meeting with HR and said I wanted to get specific examples from manager of team B. Manager of team B started ghosting me before I called the meeting and said that I would get examples at my exit interview. I subsequently asked to have an exit interview sooner.

I had my exit interview today and told the HR person that I hadn’t received any feedback on Manager B’s issues that she had. The HR person was pretty rude and said why would I want to know her examples as it would upset me & my response to was that how am I able to move on and improve if I have no idea what they’re talking about. I don’t get this air of secrecy.

Apparently manager of Team B kept a folder and thought she was providing constructive criticism. I called her the other day and called her out on why she hadn’t brought things up beforehand. I only got the examples during the exit interview. The HR person came across as very rude and said why did I need specific examples as I got the broad idea of what was wrong. Apparently receiving an email from team B manager asking me to do something was meant to be constructive criticism. I then decided that I wanted to receive the examples over email and she proceeded to read them out until I interrupted her and assertively told her that I wanted it in email, not during the meeting as she initially said.

Later in the meeting the HR person said that my manager said that another example on the PIP was that I wouldn’t drive 60 miles to see a client when I said I wasn’t comfortable going by myself as I was new into the job and the client had significant MH issues. I suggested a video call instead, which the client was happy about.

I want to let it go but I am feeling like I’ve been pushed under the bus by my manager who always is so nice on the telephone and calls me ‘my lovely’ every few minutes. I feel like she is 2 faced and has been keeping tabs on me without my knowledge.

As another person said they are paid by my work so they will always back them as they’re paying their wages!

I Know I need to let it go and concentrate on my future but the experience of having an exit interview and being told that I’m not entitled to see what they said about me, has left me wanting to clear my name and move on from this negative experience. The HR person felt like they were trying to get a reaction out of me.

i feel more confident dealing with difficult people having come out of a Narc marriage at the beginning of the year.

OP posts:
FTPM1980 · 08/07/2024 22:33

I can't follow this
Have you been sacked? Resigned? Or moved back to old role?

ETA gone back to fist line. You resigned. Now eill try and make sense of rest.

Venice241 · 08/07/2024 23:09

What about requesting a Subject Data Request on yourself on the basis that the HR has been dismissive and obstructive about providing you with the information that was the basis of your PIP.

You are clearly been given the run a round by HR and your manager.
Put THEM on the spot by requesting it.

At the very least it will piss them off.
It is GDPR law which is explained on the Citizen Information site.

Hopefully others will have better advice besides the inevitable move on etc.
Sometimes it is difficult to move on when you are wronged.

You can't undo this but stirring things for them might give you some comfort!

Wotcher · 08/07/2024 23:26

I have little idea of what’s happened here… one minute they won’t tell you anything at the exit interview because it might upset you, then next minute you only found out about the feedback folder at the exit interview, but you’d asked about it despite not knowing and they read it out and emailed it you?!

Makes zero sense. But as mentioned, if you want to see what they hold on you then submit a Subject Access Request.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 08/07/2024 23:40

Why did you have an exit interview? I'm confused

Oh, you resigned. Still confused though. It's hard to follow

But you've resigned. Just let it all go. It's not worth getting hung up on an old job

FTPM1980 · 08/07/2024 23:49

Ok so
you recently resigned.
had moved teams internally at work

  • was this by choice? Were you moved by mgmt or apply?

asked original boss could go back to old role

  • was it agreed as a trial? Or was it permanent? went to HR in the first instance.
  • did you go to HR or your old manager first? Did you not speak to new manager?

managers assistant was incredibly challenging to work with, feeding back to manager of Team B by copying the manager into every email.

  • I can see why that eould be annoying but was that theif job? Was there underlying performance issues?

i had a meeting with HR and manager of Team A and was told that they got feedback from manager of team B.
issues were brought to their attention but this was all news to me.
was put on a PIP and being told that they wanted to support me in getting better in Team B.

Team B manager gave some examples (saying about attention to detail etc but no solid specific examples).

  • that is frustrating
I called a meeting with HR and said I wanted to get specific examples from manager of team B. Manager of team B started ghosting me before I called the meeting and said that I would get examples at my exit interview.
  • so you had already resigned??

I subsequently asked to have an exit interview sooner.

  • surely an exit interview happens on exit?

had my exit interview told the HR person that I hadn’t received any feedback.

  • but you've resigned and asked them to move the meeting up?

Apparently manager of Team B kept a folder

  • how do you know this
and thought she was providing constructive criticism.

I called her the other day and called her out on why she hadn’t brought things up beforehand.

  • seems quite aggressive. I thought she had ghosted you? Maybe that's why

receiving an email from team B manager asking me to do something was meant to be constructive criticism.

  • if it said next time do xyz then it is

I then decided that I wanted to receive the examples over email and she proceeded to read them out until I interrupted her and assertively told her that I wanted it in email, not during the meeting as she initially said.

Later in the meeting the HR person said that my manager said that another example on the PIP was that I wouldn’t drive 60 miles to see a client when I said I wasn’t comfortable going by myself as I was new into the job and the client had significant MH issues.

I suggested a video call instead, which the client was happy about.

  • what is the job? Did you raise H&S concerns or just refuse to go?

As another person said they are paid by my work so they will always back them as they’re paying their wages!

  • no idea what this means

Honestly you sound like hard work. Sounds like you were moved teams fir performance issues and so B manager could keep tabs on you

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