To want to do more to help cleaner with cancer diagnosis

[theurbanpigeon]

My dear cleaner of 7 years confided in me last week that she has been diagnosed with cancer. She is Ukrainian, and though she has lived here a while, her English still isn't great and it sounds like she's had a tricky time understanding what's happened, what tests she received and why, and now what the next steps are. She actually went back to Ukraine briefly to see a doctor there to understand the diagnosis better, but didn't want to receive treatment there as she had to come back to England to work (and her husband and daughter are here).

I believe it's uterine cancer, stage 1. She told me her hospital appointment (presumably to initiate treatment) is in October. This feels like an awfully long time to wait to me?

My question to the mumsnetters is - could I be doing more to help, and if so, what? For context I'm 30 and this lady is nearly 60 (and has known me since I was 22) - she often says she thinks of me as "like her daughter". I feel like maybe I could help with navigating the NHS a bit (though she does have her daughter here who I assume has better English), or maybe even just getting her a nice gift or something or making it clear that I can support her if she needs. I don’t want to overstep the employer/ee boundary or come across patronising or make it weird or awkward; at the same time, she is very dear to me and I feel absolutely gutted for her.

Any advice appreciated (and apologies for the slightly not AIBU post, but wanted the visibility!)

TIA

Could you offer to drive her to any appointments? If she ends up having a hysterectomy she'd probably be glad of someone going a bit of shopping for her and just visiting her.

This 👆🏻

You could assure her that she will be paid while off sick, attending appointments etc. She may be off for 3+ months.

I agree with this if you can afford. So sad for her I'm very close with my cleaner as well

Do you know what, the sentence 'she is very dear to me and I feel gutted for her's .......just tell her this, make it clear your concerned for her welfare and on that basis your happy to help her with understanding/shopping/as others have suggested.
Just knowing how you feel about her probably means more than anything else.

Offer to go with her to her appointments or make phone calls where necessary i have a cancer diagnosis and i am not fluent in the language of my country. My friend interpreting. At hospital visits has been so helpful

I agree with flexibility and paid time off.

I would offer to speak with her specialist nurse for her to help her better understand what will happen next etc. I'd want to understand why the wait until October.

Does she know that she can request a translator for appointments?

You can always afford to pay your cleaner if she's off sick, it's a choice of whether you do your own cleaning or if you can afford to pay a second cleaner. Even if you are physically unable to do your own & can't afford a second cleaner, you can pay you cleaner every second week & pay a second cleaner fortnightly. I personally think it's the only decent thing to do.

@theurbanpigeon I'm so sorry to hear her awful news. I hope her DH & DD are good support for her.

my cousins clients were very good to her, several paid her throughout her treatment, t some were unable to because they couldn't cope without a cleaner & couldn't afford to pay her & a temp one, but they said they'd use an agency until she was ready to return. No pressure!! They sent her some lovely gifts, one let her & her family use their holiday home FOC several times once she was well enough to.

she felt very 'looked after', valued & appreciated. She's still (8 years on) cleaning for most of them (a few moved out of area but keep in touch)

& yes, a couple of them drove her to appointments when her DH couldn't.

im sure whatever you can do will be appreciated.

Thanks all for the kind words and advice!

Will definitely continue to pay her as/when she needs time off and good ideas re driving her to appointments etc.