Why do I have to deal with pigeons on the train

[Namechangedforthis25]

Every Time I’ve got on a train from Waterloo in the last week there’s been a pigeon on the train

walking around, pecking, flying above my head - can’t escape

never happened to me before

whats going on? Feels like they are taking over

Give it the bird next time you see it.

I was terrified walking past an absolutely enormous seagull yesterday, I was too scared to walk past and waited for ages for it to go away. It was sat on a bridge and in the end I had to call my DP who was working nearby and get him to come and escort me across.

Today was at Euston station and another beast of a bird was sat watching me… Maybe it was the same one following me though, I hadn’t considered that 🙄.

Why do I have to deal with pigeons on the train
Because our ancestors lured in wild pigeons with dovecotes (and grain) so that they could eat their babies (squab) use their droppings as fertiliser and hunt them. When humans moved on to guano from other parts of the world for fertiliser, and then on to the Haber Bosch process, they left the semi-domesticated pigeons to their fate.
Since the perfection of the Haber-Bosch process in the early 20th century, we can produce pretty much all the ammonia-based fertiliser we want. The human population has just about quadrupled since then.
We seduced the pigeons, made them dependent on us and abandoned them, and now there are more and more of us, dropping more food for them, annoyed that they're still with us, even though we encouraged them in the first place.

Barely a week of Labour and already the country's gone to the birds.