To find it inconsiderate when an OP doesn’t update us

[JammyWedges]

OP will start a thread saying something like: “Does this mean DH is cheating on me?”

Or “Should DS come on holiday abroad with me?”

Then she’ll get loads of advice, input, and helpful information from a hundred women. We help her figure out what she’s going to do. And she’ll say, “I’m going to confront DH tonight about it before bed.” Or “I’ll have a long chat with DS tomorrow and we’ll decide.”

Then nothing for days. I’ll keep refreshing the thread but it will have been abandoned. It would be so satisfying if OP simply sent an update: “He was cheating. He admitted it.” Or “We decided DS is staying home.” But no. Once OP gets everything she wants and doesn’t need us anymore, she doesn’t follow up. AIBU to be disappointed when this happens and think it’s inconsiderate?

Often I think the poster is busy dealing with the situation. A few months ago someone in Liverpool was alone and spooked by a noise in the kitchen. Like others, I really wanted to know the outcome!

Yes definitely. Especially on threads that were the exact thing I needed to find out about and nobody came back to update. This is exactly why I am updating my own thread about getting a council property because every thread I found which could have been really useful to other posters was never updated. If anyone is bidding on a council property and wants to find out what happens when you are number 1 on the bidding list and how convoluted the process can be search for my thread called Successful bid on council property because I started it in May and will be updating it until I finally move in 😀

Depends on the subject. I spent loads of time a while ago giving someone detailed suggestions for a holiday itinerary they'd asked about and they never came back. That was annoying.

Haha, this is my main usage of AIBU. I’m so surprised when the majority agree with my DH!

Yesss. Or we should start a mega thread where we all give the ending of every juicy neighbor drama and deadbeat DH story we’ve each posted on here.

Oh, how I wonder what happened to this one woman whose husband was so thick he thought the moon was a spaceship. What happened in the end?? Did she finally move on??

Post and run is the right term for it.

Now I want to know!

I agree with you- if loads of kind and thoughtful women take time out of their day it's nice to come back. Saying that I'm not sure if I have always done that on my posts - I definitely have more than once though.

This is a bit harsh for a light hearted post!

Totally agree! Drives me bonkers

See also, stropping off/having the thread deleted when they don’t like the advice

Oh yes! Was that the one where it sounded as if something took her salmon off a plate? Most annoying non-update ever. I wonder if it was a hoax

Oh yeah, with the 'deleted because the OP had privacy concerns' message.

Agree it's very odd to expect or demand an update from an op. Not to mention the fact that some MNers are so vile many ops get scared off.

At the end of the day, it's strangers on a forum. I offer advice if I have anything useful to say but I would never be offended if someone didn't come back to update. So strange.

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@SinkingFeelingSoph I think it was. Had a rat or a cat been at the food or had something just fallen down? Only the OP knows the answer.

I don’t know. A thread of mine years ago got so much interest and so many requests for updates I got slightly alarmed and eventually bowed out..

I don't feel owed an update but some threads I remain curious about to this day. The one with the music playing at the bottom of the garden and the incredibly ominous deletion message, I think about way too often.

There was a post that I often wonder about whilst 'washing up brain tumbleweed' kicks in.

Poster had a friend who adamant her other half was a spy and that's why he was away so long, not in contact, she had a child with him and was quite content believing this. The poster was pretty sure this guy was a twat with possibly another family somewhere. She wasn't entirely sure of the guys surname as the friend had everything in her name because, you know, her partner was a top secret spy.

I really want to know what happened there.

Posters often post because they need help. Nobody is sharing their distress for the purpose of entertaining us. If other posters don't have the generosity of spirit to help without expectation of "reward" (juicy update, closure, etc), just don't bother replying if you feel it's wasting your time.