Cannot buy a funeral plan on behalf of someone else even if you are responsible for the funeral unless you have power of attorney actually activated

[ScottishScouser]

Just phoned co-op funeral care to buy a funeral plan for my mum. She's not in best of health and I am going to be responsible for her funeral - and I know she hasn't got anything in place as everything is being left to me (only child) and she said I can pay for it out of that. she won't talk about her funeral as she doesn't care as its my problem.

So as there is only me, I thought about buying a direct cremation plan from the co-op. I'm not interested in a service or anything like that.

Except you can't unless a power of attorney has actually been activated. I have LPA's in place but she's not so far gone I have them activated.

I just phoned them and they would need to arrange it with my mother - but I can't go to her and tell her I'm planning her funeral!

There is nothing they can do apparently - so I guess I'll just have to lie, say its for me and do it all on line.

can you not convince her to set one up?

No you can't say it's for you.

If this is money thing then just open an account and set money aside for it in there and use it when needed.

However, my dad paid for his and my mum's whilst mum was in hospital, no way would she have signed any paperwork, dad did it all but maybe it's different when you're married.

I agree that it’s down to someone to make their own decision, unless legally determined to be incapable of doing so.

She has - her decision is to leave it to me to sort.

What do you mean by activated? If the power of attorney is signed can’t you take that to the co-op.

Don't lie if your mum hasn't got the money and you feel you have to pay open up an account specially and save how much the plan costs.

I think speak to your Mum more generally about how probate often takes months to come through. Ask if it's possible for her to leave some money in a joint account you have instant access to to cover expenses (household bills etc).

My uncle was similar, didn't leave a will or have anything in place for his funeral even though he knew he was terminally ill. My mum ended up paying for a basic funeral service after he passed in October. The probate has only just come through in the last week or so.

Just put the money aside? Then use it when the time comes.

I didn't think this was a thing. Where I worked we had a next of kin set up a prepaid funeral for one of our residents as they were living abroad and wanted to make sure everything was in place, so I think it is possible in some cases not sure why it isn't allowed by Coop. Try talking directly with a local funeral home.

Get an estimate for the kind of funeral you want and save the money.
When the time comes I found the Co-op really easy to deal with and you may be able to pay for the funeral from any money left in your mum’s accounts before probate - the bank will allow outstanding bills and funeral expenses to be paid.
There’s no point getting worried about stuff that will be sorted later on. I found out what my parents wanted by discussing funerals that we attended.

Can you get your mum to start the ball rolling by speaking to them, then once they are all vaguely in agreement your mother can wave her hand queen-like and say "oh, I find these little details so boring/upsetting can Scottish fine tweak them with you instead?" And set the payment plan direct from your bank account.

I find most companies are fine if the main person starts the conversation off before handing over to a secondary person (utility companies refuse to deal with me until DH has spoken to them in a manly manner as his name is first on the accounts 🙄)

Will she have any money left when she goes? You say she's leaving everything to you so presumably you can just pay for a direct cremation when the time comes out of the money you will inherit.
I don't understand the need to purchase a funeral plan.
You can save some money each month into a particular savings account for it or it can be paid out of the estate.

You can release funds from her bank account for a funeral before probate required so unless you are worried there won't be the money there I wouldn't stress about it now. My mum would not discuss it at all.

You aren't being unreasonable. My dad died just under 3 years ago, he was 59 and healthy until he was diagnosed with terminal cancer just months before.

Then my Mum died just one and a half years ago, she was 60 and it was awful. My dad's funeral was organised by my lovely step mum but my mum's funeral was my and my sister's responsibility. I didnt have thousands of pounds spare. I wish I had actually discussed funerals with my mum when she was still well enough to. No one would want their funeral to fall on their children and cause them stress and debt.

I would try and open up the conversation with your mum, maybe from the position of a friend recently lost their mum/dad and had to finance their funeral - funeral costs are increasing. You don't want to be morbid but would she be happy for you to set up a plan so when that day comes it is covered.

I wish I'd talked about things in more detail with my Mum because although she was my best friend, I didn't know what she wanted in terms of her funeral apart from knowing she wanted cremation. It is such a stressful time losing a parent I think unless finances aren't an issue everyone should hage a funeral plan.

My Mum had all sorts of ideas for what she wanted her funeral to be- unfortunately she died quite suddenly having not done a single thing to provide for said funeral. All DH and I could afford was a direct cremation and a memorial service several months later.

Exactly. Just organise the funeral when she is gone and her estate can pay for it. That's the usual way it happens. Your Mum has already indicated that is what will happen, so why do you need to buy a funeral plan now?

You can't say it's for you. That policy would only pay out when they see proof YOU are dead.

You can definitely take out a pre paid plan for someone else. Try golden charter or ecclesiastical.

For those asking what the point is - pre paid funeral plans (not insurance plans) are best purchased will in advance eg say 10 years from when you estimate death will occur. They guarantee to cover the cost of the funeral director fees, and a contribution towards third party costs eg cremation cost etc.
You are paying for a funeral at today's cost, and will therefore save money compared to the cost at time of need.

I can understand why you can’t take out a funeral plan for someone else without their specific , legally recognised authority. It could be used in stalking or other threatening behaviour ( good plot idea for a thriller, actually). And before anyone says ‘but it’s her mother’ , a funeral director will have rules which they maybe shouldn’t break because a family member ( maybe beneficiary) asks them to.

I hope you can persuade your mother to change her mind, OP.

If just like to pay 1350.00 at todays prices and know it’s paid for if she dies within six months or in 10 years.

i can afford to pay it’s just I don’t see why I should have to pay more just because I cannot pay in advance!

Can you talk to mum, say you've got your own in place now and see how the conversation goes.

I’ve gone onto the website, filled it all in with her details and just paid it with my card. When she dies it will be her death certificate and it matches the name.

if someone didn’t have the funds to just pay it outright, they would not have this option so in some way it discriminates against poorer people.

Capacity can fluctuate. As long as the LPA is registered and your mum agrees you can use it for finances. My parents had LPOA for an elderly friend of the family. She was capable of making her own decisions for several things but needed help with some financial matters. My parents simply showed the LPOA to the relevant people.

For those in doubt this is from golden charter pre paid plans (others will be the same)