I didn’t thank DH for the “lift”

[MashMashGravy]

Been away this weekend with youngest DS to a little caravan park. Oldest teen stayed home and then on check out day DS and DH drove up so we could spend a few hours together, use the on site facilities and then take the kids for lunch. Got home and DH was huffy cos I didn’t thank him for the lift!

Honestly didn’t see it as him giving me a lift as we were doing stuff as a family. I ended up apologising and thanking him. It was a 30 minute drive for him. It wasn’t the easiest weekend as DS is autistic with complex needs, so was difficult on my own. Did not expect the huff!

You thanked him and he still sulked? Just think how nice it will be to be free of this nonsense.

You’re wasting energy trying to figure stupid stuff like this out.
Focus on your end goal, and get on with it! You’ll all be happier when you’ve left.

My DH and I say thank you for things but, when one isn’t said, it’s not a big deal. We show our appreciation though so it’s not needed to be said.

Sounds like your husband is sulking over nothing and you need to speed up your timeline to end it.

He did say I did really well all weekend and if anyone could take DS away on their own it was me.

How convenient that you have the special skills for this task!

I'm glad your planning to leave. He clearly is not making you happy or being supportive enough.

Do you want to end it? Or would you want to work it out?

My opinion - These interactions are just symptomatic of people who are disconnected from one another but frustrated about that. He’s not being fair, but does sound like he’s looking for something from you. That means something. You don’t look for something from someone unless you still want a connection.

Disconnection is really painful. I’m sorry you are going through this.

Of course you should have thanked him! I always think my partner regardless of whether it's a 2 minute trip or a 2 hour trip.
He and your DS only came on checkout day because you needed a lift home, if you hadn't they wouldn't have gone to spend a few hours there would they? So it wasn't a "come and spend time with us" it was a "come and pick us up and have a few hours here"
But you're planning on leaving him anyway which means you don't care about him or love him so I can see why you don't think you should have done.

It matters so much, in those days when there's fighting and bickering and you're made to feel unreasonable for having very reasonable human needs, it matters so much, but then things are over and it actually doesn't anymore. That's one of the positives of seperating, you don't need to care if he think's you're unreasonable, you don't need to care who's right. Im not saying it magically happens overnight, but if you keep going down this road it could be years if ever before you can unpick what happened. I don't know about you, but I don't want to waste years more of my life on this. You've made your decision and you don't need to justify it to anyone including yourself anymore, you can make a choice to let it go. If things are over it doesn't matter anymore.

He sounds pathetic to be honest.

It wasn't even a lift - a lift is when he's specifically gone to drop you off or pick you up. This was a family day out, other than 2 of you were already there.

Glad to see you are leaving him, make sure you do it sooner rather than later - honestly it'll be the best thing you do, speaking as someone with experience.

Well there’s your answer. It’s not business as usual.

Not being funny but this behaviour of his is Weird. Is he starting some Mid Life Crisis, with all the drama that entails?? Erect|Le problems, giving up Work, taking a lover.

You always seem a little aggressive with your questioning of OPs on threads @tomketchup.

Yes I agree, showing appreciation to each other for all the little things is so important, it stops you from taking eachother for granted and builds a foundation of thankfulness (which I believe leads to a more positive emotional outlook altogether)

I can’t believe all the posters saying she is unreasonable for not thanking him. I get you might forget from time to time, but it’s not unreasonable to expect your spouse to be thankful for things you do for eachother (OP already commented that her DH praised her for taking care of their son on her own all weekend)