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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have realised this friend only keeps us around for favours

4 replies

cadburyegg · 07/07/2024 16:29

I have a few school mum friends where there is a little group of us, we have always got on well. One of whom I met through her ds who used to be best friends with my ds2 although they have grown apart over the last year or so. I have looked after her kids (she has an older dd) sometimes on strike days, after school, taken her kids to parties. We have a mutual friend who has done even more for her, looked after both kids during the summer holidays for days at a time. None of this has ever been reciprocated, but tbh I didn't really mind until now.

She is part of our friendship group and on various group chats but she very rarely joins in on the conversation or comes out with us. If she agrees to come out with us she mostly cancels.

Last week she was telling me how she didn't know how she would get her ds to beavers in future. My ds2 also goes to beavers so I suggested sharing lifts but she said she couldn't commit to it so I said I wouldn't mind giving her ds2 a lift back because I'm going there anyway. I don't really understand why it's difficult for her to do this because neither her dh nor her work evenings etc. I'm a single parent.

Two weekends ago we all arranged to go out for drinks and then she cancelled last minute. I saw photos of her this weekend with some other friends (who I know) and the penny has just dropped - that she doesn't really want to be friends with us but she finds us very useful because our children get on.

Not sure how to feel other than a bit of a mug! Does this happen to anyone else?!

OP posts:
tomketchup · 07/07/2024 16:31

She works full time? other children? partner?

and presumably she asked for this lifts so when you say never reciprocated… does that mean you have asked and she’s said no?

tomketchup · 07/07/2024 16:32

ah sorry i see

why did you offer then?

very odd to be feel hard done by. but keep offering.

Greydays10 · 07/07/2024 16:37

Whh do you keep offering?
She is clearly a user.
Stop offering and let her off.
No drama.

Blobblobblob · 07/07/2024 16:38

You can either accept it or call it out in some way.

Personally I wouldn't be OK with it, but it's your call

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