She makes everything about her

[youjustdontgetbabyGertrudesnow]

I have been simmering for a while with a friend, Sarah, in our large social group. I used to think she is lovely but had a hard time. However, as I got closer I realised that I was just hearing her version and actually she can be quite nasty. Then makes a narrative to make people feel for her whilst turning people against someone else.
I took a step back as I didn't want to be part of that and was also wary of her turning on me.
What has made me furious is the way she is now treating another friend, Ella, who has always been lovely to her. Actually she is just a nice person. Sarah was Ella's bridesmaid. Sarah made a big deal out of organising the hen party making it about her. Ella thankfully was blissfully unaware of most of the drama but some of our other friends pulled out.
Ella has recently had a baby. It was a difficult pregnancy and birth. Mum and baby are ok now but being a new mum is tricky.
Sarah has been making up nonsense about Ella. She barely responds to any texts in group chats. She tried crying to me last night about how all Ella cares about now is the baby. This is not true. Yes, Ella is an excellent mum but she still has time for her friends if they need her.
I tried to calm Sarah whilst also sticking up for Ella but others started joining in about Ella being mumsy and predictably boring now.
I think Ella would be hurt if she found this out but also don't want to bring things to her attention. However, Sarah is definitely manipulating our entire friendship group to push Ella out.
Ella has very little in the way of family. She has a new baby. We should be trying to support her. Do I call Sarah out on her behaviour? Causing a drama and probably just ostracising myself and Ella. Do I stay out of it and hope Ella doesn't find out and get upset. Do I warn Ella and try to distance both of us? I'm fairly sure others must be seeing the behaviours and know Ella well enough to know that this is more Sarah than Ella.

Jesus, it was hard to remember you're all adults and not schoolgirls while reading that.

Just keep out of the drama, and remain friends with Ella if she gets pushed out.

Yup, all mid to late 30s. My husband has summed her up saying "she is only happy if everyone else is miserable."
We have all spent a life time trying to support her but I've just had enough. I can't believe I fell for her "poor me" stories for so long.

This sounds like such a toxic friendship group. I think if I were you, I'd tell Ella about what's been happening. She'll be hurt, but it'll be better for her in the long run not to have these people in her life. I'd also distance myself from the group as well. Even if Sarah is the main culprit of the drama, the rest all sound very easily led. Not people I'd want in my life at all.

It seems like you and Ella are the only two adults in the group.

I think I would gravitate towards Ella and quietly drop the rest of them. They sound incredibly childish and spiteful.
I wouldn’t tell Ella anything about their spiteful comments unless she directly asks, she’s going to have enough on her plate with her baby. You also don’t want to be the shot messenger.

I thought you were going to say early 20s. Does the other friends have kids? Of course your focus and attention changes when you have kids. The other friends don't sound nice either.

Just to clarify:

"She barely responds to any texts in group chats."
Sarah or Ella?

"She tried crying to me last night about how all Ella cares about now is the baby. This is not true. Yes, Ella is an excellent mum but she still has time for her friends if they need her.
I tried to calm Sarah whilst also sticking up for Ella but others started joining in about Ella being mumsy and predictably boring now."

Where was this conversation taking place that Ella wasn't a part of it but other people were?

We were at another of the group's birthday party. Ella had come for a small time with the baby as she is breastfeeding. She left when the baby started getting tetchy.
Sarah was saying that the baby is all Ella thinks about and has to be in the middle of everything. It was actually a bit tragic as she sounded jealous of a baby.
Sarah says she would love a baby but does nothing to meet anyone or even go on a date.
I'm going to just tail off from the group chat and meet up with those I want instead of the big group. We have all moved on and we are not the same people we were 10/15 years ago.
Sarah is just draining and I refuse to feel bad for not choosing to stand still in my life. Others are single and happy. Some are trying to conceive with varying success. It is only Sarah who tries to make everyone else feel bad.
And as this has dawned on me...it might be dawning on others.

To clarify, i had several miscarriages before having my kids. I know that can be hard but at no point did I feel jealous towards a newborn.
Sarah appears to only be supportive if she has the upper hand in some way.

Just how did you come to know Sarah is supposedly manipulating the entire group?

You sound like a 10 year old busy body with a paranoid chip on the shoulder.

Take a step back from revelling in soap operatic intrigues and the plotting of schemes and go do something interesting with your day. Take a yoga class, spend time with your family, I’m sure you could come up with something if you tried.

It seems to me you are the agitator of discord within the group that you are accusing Sarah of being.

You decide which is more important to you - Ella or the friendship group and act accordingly.

And yes life isn't fair.

@Bodeneverywhere lots of little things over the years about the dynamics in the group. Sarah talks ill of everyone but usually in a sarcastic way so she may or may not be joking. I know if she talks about others like that she will most likely have spoken about me too. I've been wary for a while about telling her anything in confidence.
We have all been friends since our teens.
I've been the should to cry on for Sarah many a time. I always made excuses for her behaviour due to her sob stories. However when she turned on Ella, someone who never is unkind to anyone, it was just the last straw for me.
I feel I have had the wool pulled from my eyes and realise that actually she just isn't very nice. And I don't want to be part of the drama anymore.
I just couldn't decide whether I should mention anything to Ella. Maybe my silence and pulling away from the group will be more telling. I think confronting Sarah would just give her more ammunition for her victim narrative.

Sarah sounds like a prick. Still with Ella

I wouldn't say anything to Ella, because it would upset her, but I would stick up for her behind her back. Not necessarily by saying anything directly to Sarah (although you can if you don't care about maintaining that friendship) but perhaps by saying it to the other friends so they hear an alternative perspective and don't just passively accept Sarah's viewpoint.

Sarah sounds utterly horrible. There's nothing wrong with a new mum being wrapped up in parenthood.