If you’ve seen my other threads, we bought a house left in a (totally unexpected) bad condition recently.
We planned to move last week but it needed lots of work and we have notice on our rental until this Wednesday, so shifted the move forward to then instead.
Between last weekend and this, my parents (in their late 50s) spent almost every day at our new house doing it up. DHs family would never support with anything like this. My parents wanted to and offered to, but didn’t quite realise the extent of it until they got to work.
I’m pregnant, so I shouldn’t bend - debilitating pelvic girdle pain whenever I do - and can’t really lift anything. Also shouldn’t be around gloss paint because of the fumes. It’s meant I’ve not been able to be on hand as much as I otherwise would have been.
DH had a few days booked off last week, with the view that we were going to be moving then. He was round at the house doing work and decorating on every day off that he had. Over this weekend, he is working 4 days in a row. He works for the NHS and does 12 hours so leaves little time at the either side of each day.
Basically, through our circumstances, it has all fallen to my lovely parents. They chose to help us and I have repeatedly and often told them to stop, to leave it to my DH, that he will sort it on his days off - as that’s what we’d planned anyway.
They have ignored this and continued on, and done a fantastic job at turning the place around. I cannot thank them enough. I’ve dropped around lunch, taken them wine, offered to take them out for dinner - which they declined. I just feel rotten about it. They seem exhausted now, as anyone would be, but I’m pretty helpless to do anything. All we are doing is telling them how grateful we are but it feels inadequate. I am also really worried they resent us, as understandably they seem to be a bit short (probably tired!) whenever I’ve spoken to them.
My sister has helped to clean but has also made a few overly-involved comments to me such as ‘you’re at work today? you’ve barely been involved in your own house move!’ and ‘mum and dad must love you so much, you know? they’ve done a real number on it’
I know guilt is a pointless emotion but I feel very bad about it all, and worse that they won’t accept any form of thanks, even down to us cooking a meal for them. They don’t want it to be transactional, they have said.
They are lovely people so probably do just want to see us happy in our house in time for our baby being born.
How can I thank them? If you’d done this for your DD/DS, what would make you feel happy in return?