Would you mind this? Do I even say anything?

[helenabees]

My son is 6. Me and his dad separated in November last year - long story. Abusive to me - not so much my son. Now almost divorced (I am getting legal aid)

Literally within 3 weeks after I called the police on him for the last time he's public on Facebook with his new girlfriend. He moved straight into her home with her kids. They are now expecting a baby at the end of the year.

It's safe to say this all has taken its toll on me and my son. My ex decided not to see our son for 3 months. All his choice.

Contact resumed and it has been very gradual. My son loves his dad but I have been very very cautious. I have only allowed 1 day every other weekend. He was introduced to the new girlfriend and her kids straight away behind my back and the whole situation has just been disgusting from the pair of them.

Anyway fast forward to last weekend - my son was with them for the day and then he rang me and asked if he could sleep over. He said he really really wanted too. I agreed - what else could I do?

He came home quite grumpy and angry as he usually does which I am always prepared for and support him the best I can.

What I didn't like though was the fact my son slept in their bed. With both of them.

The house is quite small and there isn't anywhere really for him to sleep as far as I can tell.

I don't know whether to say anything or not. It is her house. She is 5 months pregnant. My son doesn't know her that well. It's just not ok for me.

But this is me. Would anyone else feel the same as me in this situation?

I wouldn't be happy for my child to share a bed with any one except his parents. I'm currently writing a parenting plan the cafcass website has a good template. Maybe this could go on there.
Sounds like a shit show for your kid. But I would also be wary. Next time your child calls up asking to change the agreed plan tell him that the plans need to be agreed between mummy and daddy in advance. Your child was put in the middle and should never have to make arrangements, your ex should have called you but instead tried to make you the bad person. Your ex also broke your boundary by allowing the child to call and ask. Don't allow him to push any boundaries, it's OK to say no. Especially when he used your child to guilt trip you into doing so.
As for your ex's recent choices... Wow. I feel for you. All you can do is put in the parenting plan how long you should both wait until the new partner is introduced as there's a good chance the relationship won't last and it'll be another woman in a few years.
Be the safe and consistent space for your son.

I wouldn’t be happy with it either. If he is to stay overnight with them, the onus is on them to provide a suitable bed for him which he doesn’t have to share with anyone else.

I’ve never been a step-parent but I can’t imagine I’d feel at all comfortable sharing a bed with a child that wasn’t my own child, even if they were my partner’s child.

No I would not be happy with that. Your child needs his own bed and ideally his own room. What are they planning on doing when the baby is born? It sounds like they don't have enough room where they live currently.

The baby is going in their bedroom. I know they are looking at bigger houses but unless they can find anyone to swap with, they probably won't get anywhere. There's not many people looking to downsize these days.

My son will never have his own room with them and never his own space either

You don’t get to have a say on when your ex introduces your son to new partners however I would maybe raise to issue of bed sharing. Don’t go into it all guns blazing. Just stick to the issue and say you would really prefer it if your son had his own space to sleep. A roll out/blow up bed would suffice until they move.

I've never said I did. However introducing my son to his dad's new girlfriend just weeks after leaving our home was not his best move. It confused my son massively - there is another child involved in this on my ex husbands side and my son has also lost a sibling at the same time due to my ex husband and his selfish and manipulative ways.

My son is now extremely anxious, has selective mutism (he had this anyway) and is having well being sessions in school. He's gone from speaking slightly in school but not a lot.

My ex husband has zero interest in any of this and didn't see him at all between January and April.

I have every right to be wary of the whole situation.

However I would never ever go in all guns blazing either. I am still extremely scared of my ex husband and only speak to him if I really have too.