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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think women should stop believing their BFs Ex is controlling

2 replies

WaitingforSpring24 · 07/07/2024 00:21

I’ve seen this so many times and it’s happening to me right now.
Girlfriends of men who have split up from a marriage and kids - get really stuck into defending the man who is apparently blameless, and judging very harshly the Ex and contact with kids.

I have seen this from both sides, I have been a step mum. And the Ex was difficult. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt for years and only made up my mind when I’d have direct contact with her many times.

New girlfriends who believe that an Ex is controlling, especially around kids, really need to take a step back for the first few years of their relationship.

Believe me, you will know NOTHING about what really went on, as you have such a one sided version. And there is the possibility you will be enabling abusive behaviour towards an Ex wife.

My Ex has a new girlfriend who has started to post social media messages about ‘men in controlling relationships who are not allowed to live their live to the full… ‘ etc etc. I am dreading this as I know my Ex will be painting a picture of me as awful. In reality he cheated on me several times and will not parent our son when it is his contact time (because he likes to ‘life his life to the full’ and be out all the time and leave our child with unsuitable babysitters).

So… be careful!

OP posts:
TiredHippo · 07/07/2024 07:03

This is one of the things I like about my partner, he only speaks highly of his ex regarding their children, he told me she's a brilliant mum and how much she does for them. He said they weren't compatible as a couple anymore which is why they split, but she would never stop him seeing his kids.

Missgucci · 07/07/2024 08:16

There was a thread posted just before yours from a so called new girlfriend talking about the exact same thing you are but from her point of view ... what a coincidence 🤔

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