my best friend who I have known since we were 5 is single and depressed, it breaks my heart and sometimes when she is having a down day I find it really hard to be around her she is snappy and defensive and I struggle to think of things to say that aren’t going to cause offense. When she is in a good mood or doing something like a night out she is good fun and I enjoy being around her. But overall it’s 20% good mood and 80% bad mood and I feel a resentful.
I recently got married and had a baby and things have gotten worse she is telling me she is all alone and she either wants me to go and see her or to go out with me and as a last resort she will come to mine but that’s not a preference, I feel like there is a lot of pressure and sometimes I either want to chill out at home either with husband and baby or by myself when I get the chance and occasionally with other friends so if sometimes I say no to hanging out I first get a guilt trip like it’s so hard being alone and the it’s threatening like I’ll find better friends then won’t speak to you again and it goes round in circles.
i have said I can spend two days a week with her ie one night have dinner together and one day at the weekend and she is saying it’s not enough and if I am going out for example why shouldn’t she be invited as she will be alone anyway. So I want to know am I being unreasonable
yabu - you should be supporting her more and inviting to everything
yanbu - 2 days a week is plenty and spending time with different people is okay