To ask if a bedtime routine for a very young baby is essential?

[strawberryjeans]

Expecting our first soon. I have seen friends around me with babies be absolutely fixed to apps that tell them when their babies should be awake and asleep. My sister starts the bedtime routine at 4:30 in order for DN to be asleep in bed at 5:30 (and complains that he doesn’t sleep past 4am no matter what she tries).

I can’t imagine being limited in such a way. I understand routine is important for children but due to my DH being a shift worker, if our child went to bed before 7pm then he wouldn’t see them lots of days. Of course it would be different when I return to work and they need to be up for childcare and later on school, then I totally understand an early bedtime.

Is routine essential before say 6m ish? Baby will need to sleep where we are anyway as per safe sleep guidelines, so I thought surely they would be in a Moses basket in the living room until we go up to bed anyway. This time might change depending on the night.

My children had a bath , bed ,book,bottle routine and they were asleep for 10 hours from about 3 months .
Grandchild was started with same routine and now 4.5 years later is still co sleeping!

My experience tells me that babies and young children need a routine / a lot of sleep.
They need this for their development.
It's a scientific fact

Our parents knew this and our grandparents and their parents. And that's why they had a routine of a morning nap / afternoon nap / bath to relax before bedtime routine

I think that if you're a parent you want to put your child's needs first

But I think that sometimes it's difficult in the world today to do everything exactly how you'd want to do it 'in an ideal world'

Nowadays some parents think that their baby's/ child's needs should fit around the parent's needs.
Some parents think that their needs should fit around their baby's / child's needs.

I know I see parents out and about / shopping with their young children when, to my way of thinking, the child should be at home and getting ready for their afternoon nap / bedtime routine .............. but who's to say I'm right? - because parents have far more pressure on them these days and may not be able to stick to a daily routine of napping when their child needs it.

Having said that, when I've seen families out shopping at 7pm / 8pm I wonder whay one parent can't stay at home to see to their child's bedtime while the other parent shops?

And parents wonder why their child is tired and tetchy at that time in the day?
I hate it when I hear parents shout at their children for being 'awkward' or 'whingy' or 'a spoilt brat' when you can see that their child is just tired and overwhelmed.

Children can't make the decisions here - parents are making the decisions.

No wonder some children have problems getting up in the morning?

No wonder some children have problems concentrating?

Life isn't easy for parents these days - but, by extension, life isn't easy for babies and young children

Do what works for you. You'll figure it out soon enough x

Whatever works for you op, I say read up on both and then see how it goes. We didn’t and my children all slept well early on but I’ve friends who had strict ones that worked for them. We didn’t do a nightly bath, they did. We all arrived in the same place (3 years old and all hell broke loose with the younger ones but that’s another days work!!) Best of luck with it all:)

Essential no but we didn't use apps just knew what to do when and our baby slept over 12 hours so we did not mess with the routine

As a first time mom to a 3 month old who is a grumpy and eventually screaming mess if he doesn’t get his naps in - you will do what your child needs/demands or suffer the natural consequences. Hopefully you will have the easy baby who sleeps anywhere and is happy!

My baby has refused to nap in the pram since about 4 weeks, and will only sleep in the car if already exhausted - and its not good restful sleep either. I am envious of the parents of easy sleeping babies who will sleep anywhere or shrug off missing naps. We don’t currently have that as an option but I’m hoping he gets more flexible when he’s older and can have fewer naps.

We don’t yet have a solid schedule in place because he’s still going through a lot of developmental changes that have altered his sleep and wake patterns, but we have to pay close attention to his sleep cues and wake windows otherwise we easily get a fractious, overtired, miserable, screaming mess. When he gets his naps in he is lovely and cute and delightful so its worth it to us to get it right.

Bedtime routine is pretty loose - currently just feed, pyjamas, songs and a bit of rocking. Only bath around 2-3 times a week for skin health and sometimes a bath gets skipped if he is having a bad day as it can be overstimulating.

I did a routine because I wanted to know I would get a decent night sleep & have some down time at lunch.

I found they didn't cry much as they were never really ever over tired or hungry. So not much pacing around trying to work out what might be wrong.

It worked for me but I don't know it suits everyone.

I think your sister is putting baby down too early. My son would sleep all night from early on but only ever 11 hours - so you could aim for baby to go down 8pm & get up 7am. Then you would have chance for DH to see baby.