AIBU or am I too harsh?

[Overther]

My other half works full time 5 evenings a week (4pm - 1am) I'm a SAHM to our DS and currently pregnant with baby number 2.
Since he started working nights we've had a routine of me doing bedtime,bathtime etc through the week while he's at work and then getting up with our DS in the mornings when my other half is at work and then usually I get a lay in once a week when my other half gets up with our son.
Since I've been pregnant I've not been able to maintain this, I had severe sickness in the first trimester and could barely make it through the day without falling asleep. This meant that most mornings my other half had to get up with our son (6amish) after going to bed at 2am. He would then usually go back to bed when I got up.
Recently my other half has been acting very hard done by and like he's constantly exhausted and it's making me resentful because usually it's me who does most of the care for our DS.
For example, this weekend we've been decorating as we don't have our DS with us so this is our only chance to get it done. This morning we both got up with our son at 6am (other half didn't work last night) and dropped him off at his nanas for the weekend. My other half has took the dog to the groomers, done some painting (with a lot of sighing and generally acting like he can't be arsed) and when it came to doing the second room I could tell he was getting annoyed so I said we'd call it a day and now he's currently asleep on the sofa. I've done as much of the painting as I can (physically I can't reach the top bits so this has been his job) I've also cleaned the house, done the washing, done the pots and finished off a few bits of painting.
AIBU to be feeling resentful?
Also to add, it's very rare my other half will do things around the house without me having to ask, e.g he won't do the pots unless he has to if we've ran out of clean plates otherwise he'd leave them for weeks. He never doing any loads of washing and would just keep wearing the same dirty clothes over and over.

I do think someone finishing work at 1am, getting into bed around 2 and getting up at 6 with a toddler isn’t really sustainable for more than a day or 2 a week.

Painting several rooms during the one break you have from the toddler sounds like a stupid idea when you’re both shattered.

How far along are you?

It sounds like he's exhausted (unsurprisingly)

Have a nap too

He sounds exhausted.
Once your baby is a few months old, find a job so you can take some of the load off him. And share the childcare and home duties. Both and neither are being unreasonable here.

You’re both tired, you’re both going to be cranky and resentful.

He’s exhausted. Let him nap without reporting him to Mumsnet. Have a nap as well you sound tired too.

I agree. The house will survive being undecorated. It's fine.
He shouldn't be not doing any chores but those unusual hours + getting up with the baby must take its toll. You must both be tired and cranky.
Just concentrate on getting through the next couple of years... abandon any thought of standards etc and it'll be fine...

you're being unreasonable

he's working 5 days a week, doing early morning wakings no wonder he is exhausted.

yes pregnancy is hard but feels like you are expecting too much from him. your pregnancy hormones could be making you feel resentful.

I sympathise with both of you. But 4 hours sleep a night on a regular basis isn't a lot and isn't sustainable.

The guy needs to sleep.

The other stuff, washing-up etc, is a different matter and a fair division of labour needs to be addressed - but not when he is sleep deprived and you feel unwell.

Thanks everyone, it's good to get an outsiders view. I think I was expecting too much from him and I know he's exhausted from work and looking after our DS. I think the pregnancy hormones are getting the better of me.

I do think you’re being unreasonable here, he cannot work 4pm-1am then get 4 hours of sleep before getting up with a child. As a one off maybe, but for any more than really 1 day it’s just not doable, he must be absolutely exhausted

Yes you’re too harsh
Hes working until 1am, sleeping at 2am but you seriously think he should be the one getting up at 6am with the baby?! Not as a one off but continually????? That is out of order

as a sahm, take whatever opportunities come in the day to have a rest. Once the baby is in bed, go straight to bed yourself if you need it. I get that you’re tired but I think in these situations sometimes mums over look that the dad is tired too.

That balance of him working late shifts and then getting up early is just not going to work and I wouldn’t be surprised if he becomes resentful if that continues.

on top of all that, he’s then doing painting and decorating but you’re complaining because he doesn’t look enthusiastic with it??

4 hours sleep consistently isn’t enough. You need to get up with ds then, dh gets up and takes over while you get a nap.

don’t bath ds every night - make life a bit easier.

sorry but you’re being unfair (and I rarely say that).

This meant that most mornings my other half had to get up with our son (6amish) after going to bed at 2am. He would then usually go back to bed when I got up.

The poor guy is exhausted. He’s getting very little sleep, what he’s getting is broken, and he’s working awful hours which are terrible for his body clock anyway.

He needs more than 4 hours of sleep a night.

people who work shifts like that are at higher risks of all sorts of illness and this is part of the reason why.

What kind of job is your other half doing? Does he have to operate machinery or drove?

Remember you are a team and you both need to support each other. He's supporting you by doing the early shouts after late shift etc so you support him by commiserating with him when he's tired too and letting him rest. You both sound like you need a nap, I'm sure you're knackered too. Hope the morning sickness passes soon, I remember being floored by it