To need some help planning party for DS 4?

[bulbarsaurus]

DS 4 is due to start primary this September. He will turn 5 in November. I have never had to arrange birthday parties with several other parents before so this will be the first. Was planning on doing the classic village hall disco and buffet. I would ideally love some advice on the following…

1. Is it a bit too young to start with discos or will this be ok?
2. When is the best time to send out invites? And what is the best way to ensure parents RSVP - I’m a little worried reading other threads where none of the parents reply and left guestless
3. Is weekday after school or weekend better - and how long should I make it?
4. what sorts of foods normally go down well? - will do food and drink for parents who want to stay. Do most people normally stop?
5. trying to avoid too much party bag tat - any suggestions?
6. For children with birthdays in summer holidays/ half term do you normally have their parties just before breaking up for summer etc?
7. What age do big class parties normally seem to die down?

disclaimer I will be inviting the entire class to make sure everyone is included ☺️

From a parent with three children who has been to lots of parties, the worst time is middle of the day. I don't mind going if it's 10am and but middle of the day means we can't do anything for the whole day for a two hour party. I'm sure lots of parents don't mind though. If you invite the whole class, it might be a bit of a tight squeeze. We went to one once with the whole class invited and they had a bouncy castle and it was mayhem. Best one we went to was where they hired a company who set up role play stuff. I would say if it's for 4/5 year olds they are going to need stuff to do/play with/some kind of entertainment. When we did a party for our son it was in July and was beach themed so our party bags were a bucket and spade with cake and a bubble wand in, which went down well.

Weekend is better as if there are a lot of working parents they may not be able to make it.

I think to ensure RSVPs, send the invitation by WhatsApp - to the class WhatsApp group if they’re all invited. People are far more likely to reply than to a paper invitation.

weekend is better. 2h.

parents are very likely to stay for a reception party.

My daughter’s birthday is in the summer holidays, end of July, so I have the party before the end of term!

Saturday morning people generally have sports so afternoon or Sunday better. Party bags- at that age tat isn’t really tat- bubbles, a packet of crisps, a mini packet of haribo, and Tesco do these little plastic medals that my kids always keep. Invite here normally via the class WhatsApp page but it’ll be dodgy with you as to whether one will have been set up yet? Drinks different types of cordial, am useless with food!

Mine liked very active/energetic parties when they were little - would booking out a local soft play/trampolining work? They do food as well and the parents can buy coffees etc if they stay. I'd leave the disco until a bit older personally but you know the children best.

Not sure why you need a ‘disco’?
If they are 4?and 5 years old a few tunes from a mobile phone/sonos speaker will be fine.
If your DC birthday is in November you will already have some kids birthday parties ahead of your own DC anyway so you will get the ‘theme’
A few party games or activity to do, most at this age will just run about anyway.
Food wise don’t over cater - again kids won’t eat that much at a party.

I'm not sure what you mean by arranging with ‘other parents’ - are you hoping that a few can share a party? That could work where you all share costs and divide the work up but in reception you might not be in a position to arrange this unless you know people who’s DC have birthdays in same month already.

Avoiding party bag tat good idea ( although it’s part of it when you are 5😜). You could go for a small book/card game with a piece of cake and do it that way. Often Amazon The Range or similar have packs you can split up.

• Is it a bit too young to start with discos or will this be ok?
My experience with parties in pre school/reception that have been village hall style is that some of the children will join in activities/dancing and others will just want to bomb around chasing each other and throwing balloons. Depends if you're happy with that 🤷‍♀️
• When is the best time to send out invites? And what is the best way to ensure parents RSVP - I’m a little worried reading other threads where none of the parents reply and left guestless
If there's a class WhatsApp group then that's by far the easiest way. If not, ask the teacher if they can hand out the invites/put them in the DCs bags. Far less reliable as a system though. It's often said on here that a couple of weeks is ample notice but it wouldn't be for us as our weekends are normally planned out for a month in advance, so I'd personally try and give at least 3-4 week's notice.
• Is weekday after school or weekend better - and how long should I make it?
Definitely weekend. Typically 2 hours. Aim for either a 10-12 or 2-4 type spot where a mealtime falls towards the end of it.
• what sorts of foods normally go down well? - will do food and drink for parents who want to stay. Do most people normally stop?
Sandwiches typically won't get eaten, but most of the parties we've been to have included cold pizza, mini sausages, sausage rolls, yogurt tubes, cheese strings/babybells, grapes, mini cupcakes, etc which have gone down well. I'd expect all parents to stay with 4/5yos.
• trying to avoid too much party bag tat - any suggestions?
Books, seeds, small pencil and notebook, sweet cones.
• For children with birthdays in summer holidays/ half term do you normally have their parties just before breaking up for summer etc?
There's only a couple of summer birthdays in DSs class, but both had parties in the holidays and just accepted that some people would be away, etc. They were still nice parties.
• What age do big class parties normally seem to die down?
Year 1 apparently, though we haven't got there yet.

Bouncy castle is probably better than a disco, or they tend to run around and end up banging heads.
Sweet cones with a keyring attached to the tied up bit wins with kids.
For food I do individual boxes for the kids, think happy meal boxes. Easy to then label the ones for those with dietary requirements. Then I get some pastries and tea/coffee for adults. Fruits hoots or bottles of water and some spare jugs of juice for the kids.
A weekend is better as kids are too tired after a day at school. 10am is good, then they leave having had lunch and parents still have some of the day left. I am not a fan of the 12_2pm parties personally.
Send the invite out after the first week of kids being in school when parents aren't overwhelmed with the whole new school year starting. If a WhatsApp group is set up you can post a picture of the invite in there and ask the teacher to put it in the book bags which helps with replies. Then a couple of days before your rsvp deadline you can put a reminder in. Some parents also put the postcode of the party in the group the morning of the party too which has been useful.

1. Is it a bit too young to start with discos or will this be ok?
2. They will be quickly bored at this age
3. When is the best time to send out invites? And what is the best way to ensure parents RSVP - I’m a little worried reading other threads where none of the parents reply and left guestless
4. Paper in bags and give to teacher in the first week and put a deadline on it. If you have a class whats app group that’s best. For you it will just mean having it for reminders
5. Is weekday after school or weekend better - and how long should I make it?
6. weekend, 90 mins
7. what sorts of foods normally go down well? - will do food and drink for parents who want to stay. Do most people normally stop?
8. Parents will stay at that age. Not much food will be eaten
9. trying to avoid too much party bag tat - any suggestions? Books, little crafts but kids LOVE tat.
10. For children with birthdays in summer holidays/ half term do you normally have their parties just before breaking up for summer etc?
11. Yes, unless you want fewer people to comw
12. What age do big class parties normally seem to die down?
13. I think this is very variable

Trad party games are good at that age. Pass the parcel and grandmothers footsteps and musical statues etc.

I always did treasure hunt on arrival (because different kids can start at different times), then 45 minutes of games, then food, the free play with balloons etc.

But if you want to make life easy, hire an entertainer.

They won't dance for 60-90 minutes. It will be chaos.
Have a table with some colouring/craft activities.
Have a couple of soft indoor balls.
Have a list of organised games - musical bumps etc
Have pass the parcel after the food so that they calm down after eating
Food wise - if you have several with food allergies etc, it can be easier to do individual lunch boxes to suit individual requirements.
Most will have a parent staying at that age. A cup of tea would be appreciated.

We did a soft play party at 4.30pm after school - for the whole class.
Sent invites out a good month in advance.
Got 24 acceptances and a couple asked to bring siblings (keep that in mind) my own younger son was also there so I didn't mind

We kept it simple with sandwiches (half cheese half ham), cheese and onion bites, crisps and party rings. We did big jugs of diluted juice instead of fruit shoots or it gets expensive.
Big homemade cake chopped up and much to my own dismay my husband insisted on party bags full of plastic crap...which the kids loved 🙄
The extra cost of balloons, cups, plates etc does all tot up so keep that in mind. The kids really don't care so I'd not go mad 🤣

It would have been MUCH easier to do individual packed lunches in hindsight but it went off well and the kids all seemed happy!

Get invites out within a couple of weeks of starting school. Best on a class WhatsApp group but kids love coming out of school with a party invite in hand if you prefer.

Tacky soft play all the way at that age. Hate the places but at that age they love it. The venue do (shit) food that the kids love (I used to bring fruit and crudités to add in the fruit and veg to the beige buffer) and organise it all - they get them to the food at the right time, and you just bring the cake. It’s very well timed. There is usually a cafe for parents to get a drink and I used to bring a tin of biscuits for them. After doing a couple of more homemade parties I then did this for a couple years and so did lots of parents. You can often get a cheaper deal outside of town. So much easier and after school works really well.

Idea in Nov as favours - chocolate advent calendar or book (you can get packs of books for a £ or two each) a slice of cake in a napkin and a small bag of haribo.

Weekend if you want a high attendance. I like a Sunday morning. Saturday mornings are usually busy with clubs. Whole class parties tend to die off after year 1.
I would hire an entertainer to host the whole thing. Something like
These guys

Stick the invite on the class WhatsApp.

I wouldn't do a disco for four year olds, stick to old fashioned party games. We always did village hall parties at that age & party games were very popular (probably as they are seen as a bit of a 'novelty' these days!).

Definitely soft play, ours provide food, drinks and invites. You only need to provide cake.
You can rock up 10 min before and leave 10 min after, no fuss!

See if your local soft play do a package. Ours did private hire up to 100 guests then £3 per head hot food.
Worked out far cheaper than hall hire, doing food, the napkins banners and all that jazz.
No mess to clear No prep . Turn up have fun , leave.

Whole class plus 15 extra we had 45 kids and it was a dream. Parents all sat and chilled.

Class parties seem to have died off at 7yo

Party bags , well I personally hate them it's all crap, yes pens pencils etc aren't plastic tat but we have hundreds already
Sweet cones work well
Or I did the Works 10 for £10 books with a slice of cake and a pack bubbles.
Spare books were great stocking fillers

Also re siblings. I just said welcome to bring along bmbut parents pay for their food . Just like all the ones we've been to

Agree that soft play definitely has the convenience factor, but I wouldn't say it was necessarily a cheaper option. Our local one charged £750 for exclusive use for DS's birthday which I thought was quite a lot.

Bouncy castle at that age and a craft table,some of those scuttle bug things.

Weekend.

Invites 3 weeks before. The before/after half term thing doesn’t really matter as long as you have a WhatsApp group so they don’t forget.

Sandwiches etc or tray pizzas are good.

Could do cupcakes in boxes for party bags.

class parties start to die down in Year 1.

Thanks for the responses everyone! I was trying to think back to when I was 5 and what my parents did for me. I really should try and ask my mum tomorrow! I said disco but more meant children’s entertainer although still think this should wait until next year. Soft play is a great idea, think we might go for that as seems to be low fuss and my kids both love it.

some of the parties I remember growing up were: children’s entertainer in village hall with party games and buffet food after (sometimes fancy dress), soft play, swimming parties, sleep overs, bowling, cinema, laser tag, garden/ home parties, roller skating, gymnastics, kayaking/canoeing.

if there are any good activities you all remember please tell me! Might come in handy in the future!

Some of the good ones over the years have been;
indoor climbing centre
go karting
graffiti
laser tag

But soft play was the go to for several years. Til about 7 ish I think.

Mine just want sleepovers now.