Part AIBU, part WWYD...
Lifelong friend back to primary school, now both in our 50s. School together, teens together, clubbing together, adults together, know each other's parents, husbands, siblings, kids etc. Were never absolutely best pals, but always there for each other, know each other's intimate secrets, other friends have come and sometimes gone over the decades but we seemed to be the constant in each other's lives, which we often joked about, picturing ourselves in a care home in our 90s together and still taking about old boyfriends and school days. We can go for ages without talking, or chat/meet every week, all very normal for old pals.
Friend developed a health condition in the late 2010s and was totally wiped out by it, and although we would chat on the phone, she got exhausted too easily for a visit. Then lockdown happened so it could only be phone calls, then in late 2021 when things were getting back to normal, I suggested a meet-up, but she still didn't feel well enough so I said just to let me know when she felt up to it.
We spoke again a month or so later, and again she said she'd let me know when she was well enough to meet. A few months went by (now early 2022) and her socials suggested she was out and about doing stuff again, so I got in touch to say I was glad she was getting better, but she said these activities had set her back so still not able to meet, but would let me know (for the 3rd time). I haven't heard from her since. I'm guessing I've been ghosted.
However, she sent me a birthday card in 2022 that I was quite offended by (based on a long-running "joke" that she knows I don't find funny), and it caused me to think over our years of friendship, and I'm no longer sure if I'd want to revive it. I think a lot of it was based on keeping up with each other for the sake of keeping up, and if I'd only met her now I'm not sure we'd ever become friends. So, I've been content to let it slide.
But I get these moments of doubt where I think that as she is the ill one, it should be my duty to make contact, and maybe she thinks I'm the one ghosting her. But after three "rejections", would it be a bit dense of me not to realise I've been ghosted? I'm not sure she would do that, as it happened to her some years ago and she was devastated by it.
On the other hand, I'm still quite pissed off about this tiresome joke and the card which I think was the last straw in that regard, and I'm still not sure if I want to be in her life again anyway.
So WWYD? Easy to let things just drift, but I don't want to be seen as the bad guy who ghosted a sick friend.
AIBU - Give her a call, she's an old friend
YANBU - Just let it go
(Yes, I know it should be Who's Ghosting Whom...)
Edited to add:
Sorry, just realised how long this is! Thank you if you made it to the end!