Will this be extremely tight or AIBU?

[monaaay]

Name changed to be honest about our financial situation!

DH brings home around 2100-2400 after tax a month and I bring home about 2k ish.

Combined income is about 65-67k per annum before tax - depending again on overtime.

New mortgage rate means we will be paying £1000 a month on our 2 bed house.
Essential utility bills will be £400.
Car insurance is £150 a month for both cars. Car payment of £300 a month.
Food shop currently about £400 a month (including toiletries, cleaning products). We can’t do it any cheaper than this no matter where we shop as we have to rely on the free from section which is always unfairly inflated.
Building and contents insurance and life insurance combined are about £70.
Car tax £30 between us.
Fuel for both of us again £200-300 a month.
Phone bills = £50 a month.

= overall £2500-2600 of essential outgoings a month, slightly more than DHs wage

I’m going on maternity leave soon and we haven’t had much opportunity to save due to needing to do house repairs. We probably have £1000 disposable savings to use to top up my maternity pay, everything else earmarked for emergencies. My works package is fairly generous (NHS) so works out overall that the first two months I’ll have 90% of my full wage, then the next 5 months I’ll have about 70% of my wage. Another 2 months of SMP (worried about this) and then I’ll probably need to go back to work when baby is 9 or 10 months, can’t afford unpaid leave. We’ll be just over the threshold for being eligible for any kind of UC even in my unpaid leave

I don’t think there are any costs we could make cheaper other than not having the car payment and having a cheaper car in many ways would just be false economy as would cost more in the long run. We live in a supposedly cheap part of the north but public transport is crap and we’re in the suburbs so do need to drive. I do shop on Vinted and try to find yellow sticker deals when I can

We should be fine when I return to work, I’m not worried about that. Childcare will only cost £150 a month for 3 days thanks to the 30 funded hours. We are fortunate enough that we will only need 3 days. One day we have family help and the other day will be my day off, as I am going back 0.9FTE over 4 days.

It’s maternity leave I’m worried about financially… does the situation above that I’ve described just sound normal and will we make it work? I’m really worried about being skint. Please be nice, sorry if I’ve been ignorant anywhere as I know there will be folk far worse off than us but I am just panicking a bit that what would’ve been a very decent wage 10 years ago now doesn’t go very far at all

Well it's more than most families have coming in. Will you stay full time? Lots of people on much less

Were on less and kids do clubs and eat more food etc!

Tbh I am probably just panicking, sorry if it’s tone deaf. Bit off more than we could chew with the house repairs and it’s been a costly couple of years.

Possibly but I want to breastfeed and childcare isn’t available until September 2025 when she’ll be nearly 10 months.

Council tax isn't a utility bill though, so that's presumably something like "£200 for utilities + £200 council tax", not "£400 council tax"

£200 is probably fairly typical for utilities, £400 isn't.

Ah ok. That’s what I meant then, sorry for confusion. Council tax is more like £150 as well so it’s probably more like £350 in total.

Our utilities are more than 400, 2 people, water is about 80, gas and electric are about 300 I think, then I count phones and broadband as utilities, just puts us over. Then council tax on top which I lump in is 180

£150/month for car insurance for 2 cars is £900 per car per year.

Yet car payments are only £300/month, so presumably £150/car/month, which is budget new car.

£900/year to insure a cheap car seems very high. Are we new drivers, or points on licence, or history of claims, or what?

It sounds like you’ll be able to cover everything, but you might be a bit short of spending money when you got onto SMP, and when it ends.

If you’re due November, can you save £200 a month between now and then so you’ve got at least £50 a week for getting out and about in your final months of mat leave? You will surely also be able to save quite a bit in your first months of mat leave when you’re mostly indoors with a lil potato, still on decent % pay! I second that you don’t need expensive baby classes, plus in your summer SMP months if (we get a summer next year) you can do free ish things outside.

I only got statutory but what we did was for the 6 weeks I got 90% I took the additional over the minimum I needed (say £150 a week) and put that away. I then used that over the last two unpaid months. Then KIT and adding on leave in the last month meant I got 12 months.

Obviously we pooled our money. Doing that meant we had around £200 each of disposable (after all expenses inc food and travel) and that was fine for us to get by. But tight but never so tight we were worried about affording essentials.

Not new drivers, no, and no points. Been driving for 6 and 4 years. DH has advanced driving qualifications. No claims. It’s just what it is now. Our renewal was more than 50% more on the year before anywhere we looked. Prices have gone up.

I seem to keep forgetting I can save when baby is tiny, you’re so right! Trying to but still have a large house repair to pay for which will cost £2000 next month. Plus someone scraped DH’s car and drove off without leaving details so goodbye to another £500! Not having the best run of luck. We have got £1000 aside as I say so maybe/hopefully that can be used as pay drops, and we will just have to save what we can I guess till then

OP another thing that makes it all more manageable is to ask HR to spread your pay evenly.

You have to ask for it, they will never offer, but you can tell them you are having 9mth off and they will calculate it for you and pay you an equal sum each month. It’s so much easier to budget that way, rather than full, 90% then SMP.

I didn’t know this was possible, but it sounds like it would be amazing. Thanks for this suggestion. I think I’ll ask for this.

Happy to send you stuff from my baby classes that I did last year. We paid £250 for it, I think a big part of those classes were to have mum friends going through a similar journey with babies due at the same time. Otherwise a lot of info can be found online. Also, my midwife unit ran classes too and those were free. Maybe ask your midwife at the next appointment what courses are available for you. There should be one about helping you get ready for birth and also for breastfeeding.

It’s a game changer!!

I would prioritise baby classes. You’re paying for friend in the same life stage as you. It’s really worth it.

I would by contrast absolutely deprioritize baby classes and also clothes. I got a bundle of maternity clothes off fb marketplace for £20 and basically lived in them for the year.

Those are big bills OP, how annoying! I guess it’s great that you’ve got essentials covered, but fun money might be in short supply at some point. At least it will be summer when that’s the case and you can get outdoors.

If it makes you feel any better, I have friends who had to pay for childcare on a 0% credit card for the first couple of years and pay it off gradually after. You’re nowhere near that level of difficulty. As a last ditch solution if you’re ever desperate, you could always get a 0% credit card for a bit of late mat leave spending money and pay it off when you’re working again.

Hmm really? Cant think of anything worse to spend money on unless you want to be coughing up to meet middle class Nummies that you can then go to overpriced coffee shops with.

You can meet mum friends if you so desire at free or cheap groups. Not that I bothered and neither have my daughters. No loss .

Ive just returned to work from mat leave & I was in very similar situation to you in terms of pay (although my mat leave was 6 months full pay then stat)

Firstly, you need to make sure you apply for child benefit once your baby is born as it helps with nappies / formula if you’re not planning to bf. I did bf and saved so so much on formula (obviously not everyone can and/or wants to but just a plus if that’s what you wanted to do).

After bills I saved most of my wages in the first 3 months of mat leave and my partner did the next 3 months and we managed to save quite a bit which meant I could have longer off for mat leave. You can also use your holidays at the end of mat leave so if you want to go back after 9 months you can technically be getting paid from 8 month mark (not sure how many holidays you get in nhs?) You can do keeping it touch (KIT) days too as you get paid for these.

Honestly, the classes are great but you can go to local community ones instead of paying and they’re great so I would opt for that if you’re worried about cost.

I would start living as if your on reduced pay now and put that money in savings for the rest of your mat leave for your bills. Your partner needs to do the same. We have also used our credit cards for things that just crop up in the month and obviously just paid minimum payment back for now, I’m not worried about this as back at work now and planned out to pay all this off over next few months.

As you say you’re not worried for when you go back to work so try not to worry too much about everything. As long as your bills are covered you will be fine and you will just make do.

Congrats btw, as someone who just returned to work, I wish I could do it all over again!! The early days seem long but before you know it, it goes too quick so try and enjoy every moment (even the tough ones) although I know that’s easy for me to say now haha! X

Maybe it’s your charming personality that meant you were fending off the friends!

When are you due? Remember you won't get 30 free hours until September 2025 (if you're due soon) because it's from the term after they're 9 months. If you go off this month you'll be going back around April next year (?) so that's 5 months of paying the full nursery cost yourself.

Sorry didn't read the full thread. I can see not due until November.

It doesn't have to be expensive baby classes though.

OP can take baby to a church baby group and pay £2 or to a free baby group at the library etc. It doesn't have to be baby massage or baby sensory.

Not going to lie I think that was uncalled for and quite rude!

Thank you for this, it’s really helpful