Kid hurting mine

[Saddleupbuttercup]

How do you handle another kid hurting yours? Parents do nothing, no discipline at all. Kiddo is autistic and that is the excuse. It's like nothing happend

Tell the kid off yourself. Its justified if theyre hurting yours.

Is it happening at school?

Tell you kid to hurt them back.

Different years at school, they play a the park after school everyday in a big group. We all walk home past the play area. My boy is younger.

He is tiny in comparison

Tell him to shout at him then or you intervene and tell him to go away.

If its only happening in the park, dont go to the park or be prepared to immediately intervene directly with the child each time.

Ages are relevant here for advice on addressing behaviour.

Teach your child to stand up to hitter “stop - do not hit me”

intervene and say it is not ok to hit

create space between children

I'll never understand why adults are not allowed to assault adults, but kids are allowed to assault other kids! It is like kids are not human until they are 18...

Similarly, if a parent did the same thing to a child, there would be a whole host of "services" involved (and rightly so). If a kid hit a dog/cat, there would also be consequences. But none when it is another child?!?

If the kid's parents have done nothing to stop this, I would personally write a formal letter to the police to say your kid keeps getting assaulted, mentioning time, place, etc. When will people finally face up to the consequences of committing physical assault?

Just scream at him. .He'll not like the noise, will cover his ears, cry and run away

I would have a word with school, preferably sendco and keep your DC away from this child as much as possible (may not be easy or ideal). I would not be telling him to retaliate. If this child is hurting others he should be supervised. So the fact the parents are not doing there bit is NOT OK.

Is this serious??

Ages are important, as is the actual context of how he has hurt your child and what was going on. Obviously not acceptable but need more information to provide any sort of helpful response.

@Haveyouanyjam of course its serious. A PP said to hit him back but OP said her child was smaller and wouldnt want to fight back, so maybe shouting will work, esp if he's sensitive to noise.

Older boy 7 my boy just turned 5 and size difference is huge. Have been avoiding play but little man is upset as his mates go. He got punched on Monday just gone. Dragged him away and other lads Dad said he "oh he is autistic" and that was the end of it. Then saw them taking him to ice-cream van. Shocked at the lack of discipline or consequences. I spoke to his mam a few weeks ago as he pulled out Ben's hair she said they don't tell him off, ignore bad behaviour and tell him when he is good

Wow

Not sure shouting at an already dysregulated autistic child is a sensible suggestion, who’s to say noise isn’t contributing to the violence?

I would speak to school. They can’t do anything if it’s happening off grounds but may be in a good position to speak to the parents and raise concerns. Praise good behaviour of course but ignoring physical violence probably not the way to go! They shouldn’t be bringing him to the park if he cannot cope and lashes out. I would also just advise your DC to give him a wide berth.

id reply with "not really an excuse to hit people or be a bully is it?"

Then you tell the autistic kid off when you see it. The parents can't let this carry on as he'll punch the wrong kid one day. But for now, you are the one who has to tell him off.

I would be saying to the child myself 'we don't hit because hitting hurts.' And to the parents that they need to explain that hitting hurts and isn't ok. Every time. But would also try to avoid or watch out for contact between them.

I think in this situation, I'd just stay as close as possible to my 5 year old the whole time he was there.

There's not too much you can do if the parents have that very unusual attitude.

I have to say I work somewhere that has lots of autistic children and their parents coming to visit, and the vast majority of those parents do not let their children behave like that.

It's not fair to exclude your child from a group activity that he enjoys. But this is difficult.

I'd go again and observe. If I saw that happen again I would go straight in there and tell the other child myself ' no, you do not hit others'.

I would then gently say to the other parents that this has happened a few times and you feel very uncomfortable about it. It's now really upon them to do something more than just say 'oh he's autistic '

Finally, in order to help raise a compassionate child, I would let your child know that this other boy is Autistic and some children who are Autistic communicate physically when they are overwhelmed. It's best that you keep a distance from this child for now as he keeps hitting you. ( Or something like that).

I don't think the school will want to get involved if not happening on school grounds.