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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be tearing my hair out with colleague?

29 replies

BlueCheesePlease · 05/07/2024 19:01

Normally very on the ball but in the past few days...
Didn't seem to understand a very basic instruction (Think- Please go and get the paperwork from the office but she came back with a few pens) then today's incident. I asked when she could work next week. She gave me three days. Then kept deleting them and giving me a different set of days. Then saying she could adapt things so she could work the week then deciding she couldn't. This was done over text as she was at a hospital appointment at the time but my god it's like pulling teeth.
Aibu to feel like tearing my hair out?!

OP posts:
sesquipedalian · 05/07/2024 19:04

Why were you texting her during a hospital appointment? I think she’s entitled to be able to attend it in peace, and not have to worry about work. It’s quite possible she was more than a little preoccupied about the appointment itself. I can see that her response was difficult for you - but I think you should have made allowances, and when you knew she was at a hospital appointment, you should have waited for a more appropriate time to ask about when she could work next week.

TeenLifeMum · 05/07/2024 19:08

Why are you messaging colleague when they're at an appointment?

Angrymum22 · 05/07/2024 19:09

Do you think the hospital appointment may be a clue. When I was having biopsies and subsequent appointments for breast cancer I don’t think that my mind was completely in the here and now. I didn’t tell colleagues until the diagnosis was confirmed. Probably a month after screening flagged it up.

Wormfanclub · 05/07/2024 19:10

The second I realised someone I managed or a colleague was at a hospital appointment (if I didn’t know already) I would cease communication. “Sorry I didn’t realise - please don’t worry about it now. We can catch up tomorrow.”

I think this is poor from you.

Startingagainandagain · 05/07/2024 19:10

You should not be contacting a colleague who is attending a hospital appointment.

I wonder if she is really the issue in this story as your judgement based on the above is seriously off...

Original poster
BlueCheesePlease · 05/07/2024 19:10

I am covering my colleague as we are short staffed. That's why it was urgent that I knew the dates.

OP posts:
TwattyMcFuckFace · 05/07/2024 19:11

She should've left you on read if she was at a hospital appointment.

Butchyrestingface · 05/07/2024 19:11

This was done over text as she was at a hospital appointment at the time but my god it's like pulling teeth.

Where do you stand on texting staff when they're on the labour ward? Grin

Original poster
BlueCheesePlease · 05/07/2024 19:11

I would have messaged tomorrow but obviously it's the weekend then.

OP posts:
TwattyMcFuckFace · 05/07/2024 19:12

BlueCheesePlease · 05/07/2024 19:10

I am covering my colleague as we are short staffed. That's why it was urgent that I knew the dates.

How was that her problem at that moment in time?

Or any time really, assuming she doesn't hire staff?

Butchyrestingface · 05/07/2024 19:13

TwattyMcFuckFace · 05/07/2024 19:11

She should've left you on read if she was at a hospital appointment.

Yup. Mind you, I hope she sees this thread and realises no good deed goes unpunished.

You think you're doing your barrier-free zone manager a favour by texting them back even when you're at a hospital appointment, but lo and behold! you just become the subject of a critical MN thread instead.

Live and learn, @BlueCheesePlease 's minion.

FirstNameSecondName · 05/07/2024 19:14

If she's normally on the ball, cut her some slack for not being totally focused at the moment because by your post, it's obviously she has something on her mind at the moment, perhaps health issues or something that she isn't willing to share right now and messaging her when she's at hospital is really poor from you.

No matter how important those dates were for you, it won't be more important than her health for her.

Invisimamma · 05/07/2024 19:17

BlueCheesePlease · 05/07/2024 19:10

I am covering my colleague as we are short staffed. That's why it was urgent that I knew the dates.

With respect unless you work for a life or death emergency-type service, it's not that important. As soon as you knew she was at a hospital appointment you should have said 'we'll pick this up later.' As you don't appear to be a workplace that operates over the weekend it would need to wait until Monday.

If at hospital she was understandably focussed on that and not messaging you and probably didn't have diary on front of her. Sound like she's got stuff going on and perhaps that's having a knock on impact at work?

DecafGreen · 05/07/2024 19:18

You start by saying that she is usually 'very on the ball'. She clearly has something on her mind, probably relating to her hospital appointment. Perhaps show some concern for her rather than tearing your hair out.

ClawdeenWolf · 05/07/2024 19:19

@Butchyrestingface Spot on. 👏

TwattyMcFuckFace · 05/07/2024 19:30

Are you actually her manager, OP?

Fannyfiggs · 05/07/2024 19:54

Why did you leave it until today to find out what she could work next week?

If she's normally on the ball but has been preoccupied, did you ask her if she was okay?

Do you know you shouldn't be texting staff when you know they're at a hospital appointment?

amoobaa · 05/07/2024 20:05

If your colleague is usually on the ball and this is out of character… especially things like not being able to follow basic instructions… have you considered that there might be something more serious going on?

Hopefully your colleague is fine, but when I had a brain bleed, I was doing all kinds of weird things at work… I could barely string a sentence together for the week leading up to me collapsing at work with a brain haemorrhage and seizure.

I was trying to send an email when my manager insisted on driving me to the nearest train station because I looked so pale and ill. I had no idea I was having a brain haemorrhage.

Kimchie · 05/07/2024 20:09

Why are you finalising the rota for next week on a Friday afternoon?
That should have been done days ago.

StormingNorman · 05/07/2024 20:12

If she’s at a hospital appointment today and has been a bit preoccupied lately, might there be something worrying her?

You sound unempathetic and tightly wound.

ClawdeenWolf · 05/07/2024 20:12

See, this is why I kinda admire the blue-haired younglings who don't adhere to the old ridiculous ideas of what an employee should do. Capitalism eats us from the inside out. Poor bugger couldn't even go to a hospital appointment. And you're not even her boss, you're a colleague who's taken it upon themselves to sort the rota.

Original poster
BlueCheesePlease · 05/07/2024 22:16

Yet she's not a youngster, she's a 38 year old woman but OK....

I was covering another colleagues work and it all got very hectic. It was just getting very confusing with her changing dates around and while I accept she has something else going on, it was just hard going.

OP posts:
Teamind · 05/07/2024 22:24

BlueCheesePlease · 05/07/2024 22:16

Yet she's not a youngster, she's a 38 year old woman but OK....

I was covering another colleagues work and it all got very hectic. It was just getting very confusing with her changing dates around and while I accept she has something else going on, it was just hard going.

Do you accept that you instigated your own problem and should have left her in peace at a hospital appointment?

Tagyoureit · 05/07/2024 22:26

FFS!!
do you not think the reason why she's all over the place is because of something to do with the hospital appointment??
Maybe, just maybe, you're being a massive prick by texting her about work when she's off?
Then to top it all, you start a thread to slag her off!!

Well done, OP!

Daisybuttercup12345 · 06/07/2024 02:07

BlueCheesePlease · 05/07/2024 19:10

I am covering my colleague as we are short staffed. That's why it was urgent that I knew the dates.

Not more urgent than her hospital appointment. You should have left her alone.