How can I help my DD 'get it ' before she starts school in September?

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My DD is 4.5 years old.

She'll start reception in September.

She's wonderfully curious and has many great qualities. She struggles a bit socially in the sense that she often wants to go first/ talks over children / sometimes struggles waiting her turn.

These things are getting better with support from nursery, but she's still struggling a bit.

The nursery which is part of the school she'll be attending say that she's improving, managing disappointments better and she's able to take turns much better/ wait until a child has finished / asks to have a turn etc etc.

How can I support her with this kind of stuff at home ? I talk to her about this stuff all the time/ model the behaviours. She has a little brother who's 2 and I make sure she doesn't snatch stuff from him etc and discipline her when she's unkind to him. Not sure what else I can do ? He's also a little shit and likes to push her, snatch her things / play chase etc. don't worry, I also discipline him. They get on, but often fight over toys.

Nursery aren't overly concerned. They do see improvements and think it's just part of her individual development. She's outgoing and likes to take charge. She has friends but I just worry if she doesn't 'get it', she may end up with no friends in reception. She seems to clash with girls who are strong willed like her. They fall out and then are friends again. So I know she's not the only one who's like this. But I really want to support her somehow. She tends to have more consistent friendship with quieter children, who I suspect, allow her to take the lead.

Would having a lot of play dates help ? So I can step in when I see unwanted behaviour from her ?

It sounds normal. My DC started school a bit like this and is much better after a year of reception.

Play dates will help but basically this kind of socialisation is a major thing that kids learn at school.

DS was like this at that age, he soon learned to navigate his way around it.

That's good to know, thank you.

Everything seems dramatic when it's the first child !

I'm glad she's improving.

There are definitely other children her age who've moved in past this behaviour. But I guess everyone does develop at their own pace.

Turn taking can be modelled by playing board games, I had great success with this game. Old Macdonald's Farm Game | Board Game | BoardGameGeek NB best with parent/adult playing as well to intervene and direct turns.

I can't find online as it is quite old now, but this kind of activity can really help with impulse control.

Oh yes thanks for reminding me!!

We haven't played board games for a while. The last time we played she always got upset when I would win a point. But it's been a while, we should try again.

We are going on holiday for a couple of weeks and I really want to take some activities with me, so this is a great idea.

If she is quite a competitive child look for co-operative/team games where you have to play together to win.

The last time we played she always got upset when I would win a point.

You need to accept this and win some points anyway but also model reacting well if you lose a point yourself.

We used to have a system where we'd play a game but have a points chart to the side for the Good Sport points - where you could win points for things like not kicking off if you rolled a one, or if someone else beat you on a turn. So you could lose the game but "win" at being a good sport.

Maybe stop referring to your children as little shits?

Oh come on !!!! What's it like up there on your high horse ??

I was making a joke. Lighten up.

This is great thank you

Fair enough … we all get frustrated but it looks horrible (to me anyway) but I do think that term is just awful and about a two year old. It wasn’t what you asked about though which is fair enough.

@imjustwonderingif it was just meant to be a lighthearted comment.

I absolutely adore my two year old. He is the most scrumptious, cheeky, beautiful little boy I've ever seen and I tell him I love him and cuddle and kiss him every day. I do not actually think he's a little shit in any way. He's so smart and so loving. I adore him and I adore my girl too.

Completely normal. Don’t stress. This is what the early years are for. Peer interactions are the best teacher - or older cousins if you have access to them - their feedback is helpfully robust.
for games:
Feed the woozle is a great cooperative game if losing is a catastrophic event.
pizza pizza is also fun because it’s a bit gross.

These games look great for my 5yo, thank you.

OP, this sounds very like my son, who will in addition lash out easily when he gets frustrated. He has not found reception easy at all, and school have found him quite hard work. We are in the system for ADHD/ASD assessment on their advice. I beat myself up about what we could have done differently - more play dates might have helped, I don't know.

My son started school last September and I was worried some of his behaviours would ostricsise him. However what I underestimated was the influence of other children. His friends know him in a way I don't, and handle him in a way I have not mastered. They role their eyes at his antics and remind him of agreements they'd made not to do x, y, z to one another. He used to hang with a different crowd (friendships seem to change often at this age) who were often getting him into trouble and has independently navigated away from this group to the friends he's known longer (met the mums at baby group) who are far stricter on what they'll accept from him but in a really supportive and lovely way. The teachers have also been incredible at helping them navigate social situations and behaviours as well as the numeracy and literacy skills you'd expect to be coming out of a classroom. It warms my heart to see DC with his school chums now, especially as this time last year I was worried he wouldn't have anyone due to his tendency to have outbursts.

Just sharing my experiences. Everyone is on their own journey. The difference between your child now and how they'll be in a years time is in my experience pretty staggering. I bet she'll surprise you xx