DC duties when unwell- AIBU?

[TwinklyGoldReader]

Hi, first time posting so please be gentle! I’ll try to keep it short ..

I’ve been feeling unwell (just a stomach bug) for the past few days but DP has been at work so I’ve tried to plough through with DS (10M). Today he has had the day off and I’ve still done the majority of the childcare.

DP took DS for a walk for an hour so I could lay down. When he came back I was instantly handed baby back so he could cook himself some food. Apparently I didn’t look grateful enough for a whole hour in bed (the day began with him listening to me throw up) so he knows I’m still feeling unwell.

We bickered a bit over how I never ask for a break vs I’ve had one etc. He then threw in the classic ‘I do more than most men’ which really got my back up 🤯

I wouldn’t be as wounded if he didn’t spend 6 hours each weekend at his hobby and out with friends for a couple of hours here and then- he’s not excessive with this and I understand he needs down time so this has never been an issue for me. My issue lies with the fact I’m happy to ‘hold the baby’ so he can unwind/have fun, yet I’m begrudged a few hours when I’m poorly. So… AIBU?

YANBU

he should and picked all the slack up today

and how does he know he’s better than most men? You should be grateful for an hour’s respite when you’re ill from him

what a prince 🙄

Do you work / planning to go back to work?
you say DP so you’re not married

I’m back the end of this month! DP (not married) is definitely in for a shock with the redistribution of household chores judging by today…

pass baby back - tell him you are going to sleep, and the baby is his responsibility now

Hand baby to him, go to bed and tell him you'll be having your dinner there, so he can bring it up when he's cooked it.

You can also tell him that because you haven't had a proper rest today, he's going to have to forgo his hobby this weekend so he can watch the baby while you rest again.

What a twat.

"I do more than most men" should be answered with "But you do considerably less than the other parent of YOUR child and that's the only thing that matters here you misogynistic arsehole."

(Maybe leave out the arsehole bit if you don't want a row!£

You're ill - if he wasn't an AH and cared about you, he would be doing everything to do with taking care of the house and the kids.

He might have to learn the hard way that stomach bugs spread like wildfire and a 10 month old with a bug is not a fun thing! In our house, if one of us has D&V (very rare), we quarantine ourselves and have nothing to do with the children - especially preparing food for them etc. It means the ill person recovers and also doesn’t pass the bug on! The only time I’ve ever had to look after the children when I’ve been ill is when we’ve both had the same thing and had no choice (this happened more when they were little)

If you mentioned "how much he does" in front of his friends, would they agree with him, that he does more than most?

If not then drop it in and shame the lazy cunt.

You shouldn't be doing as much as you're doing. You're only on mat leave Mon to Fri 9 to 5, the rest of the time it should be 50/50. Sadly I think you're the one in for a shock when you go back to work and still end up doing everything else because that's what he's got used to. You're not the first to be in this situation and you definitely won't be the last. Sorry I don't have any advice, only solidarity.