To think I should start getting angry more?

[hello1111]

I’m outwardly a very polite, quiet and reserved woman in my late 30’s. I believe I’m a people pleaser and often put up with crappy behaviour with a big smile on my face. Even rude service I smile back and think they must be having a bad day and try to put myself in their shoes (A phrase my mum and teachers often said to me growing up).

I know many on mumsnet will try to twist this but I need to be clear I am not a “chatty” person I was just trying to make polite small talk till the event started then I would have stopped talking :

At a school event today for the entire school (primary) i attended and ended up sitting next to a lady I didn’t know. I politely said hello with a smile and she said hello and she made chit chat with people behind about how her son is performing something. I asked her (after her conversation was ended in case someone said I butted in) what year her child is in and she got really weird! I stopped talking to her and focused on getting my phone ready to take pics for the event. Coming home I feel really angry as I was just making small talk and she was acting like I’m planning a kidnap operation of her child! I wish I had said something to her. How would you have responded? I want to get rid of this nicely nicely persona I have. I hate myself for sitting there whilst she was being arsey to me for no reason.

@ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat that’s really strange! So in your viewpoint we shouldn’t make small conversations with people? That’s a very sad viewpoint and your username is very fitting.

I couldn’t give the slightest crap who her child is or wHat year. I was making small talk. I think it’s because you’re hiding behind a keyboard so easy for you to act like an arsehole by saying this. Most normal people make small talk.

Nothing you have written here suggests that you are a people pleaser. Instead, you come across as rather resentful.

Perhaps people sense your incongruity and the other Mum bristled because you sounded fake/clearly didn't give a shit what year her child is in?!

Yes, but if someone doesn't want to, for whatever reason, it's not a normal reaction to get angry or start a fight. Now that, would be an arsehole.

Well done for sniping at me and the personal attack, you do have it in you after all.

This is such an extreme reaction to something quite minor.

You’re very funny! Ofcourse on an anonymous forum I can be like this! Do u honestly think most of mumsnetters are like this in RL? Have u read responses in AIBU? You think the whole world is really what they are online 😂

I think most posters are, or wish, they were like they post in real life. They might not show it, they might be too shy, wanting to avoid confrontation or have plenty of reasons, but I do think people show exactly who they really are on here. It's anomyous, there's no consequence, no judgement. This is a fascinating insight on what SOME people really think or say behind your back.

Most of us wouldn't have given 1 thought to that 10 seconds interaction. You are the one being miffed about it, and needing to start an entire thread.

So yes, it says a lot about you.

I genuinely find it fascinating to read that some people are putting so much importance on things I barely notice at school, or work and so on.

The other woman sounds a bit weird.

Would also be absolutely bonkers for someone to read all this into one sentence of polite small talk 😂😂😂

I’m imagining one of those movie scenes where there’s a visual of someone’s eye rushing into the centre of their brain so you know the character is a savant having a vision 💆🏼‍♀️

I wouldn't care less whether other mothers might think I was rude to somebody who was as rude as this woman was. By the way, if a group of women were so easily swayed I'd think they weren't particularly intelligent. Luckily, I come from a country that doesn't have a tradition of the "school run". Our children largely get themselves to school by foot, train or bus or we simply drop them off at the gate and leave. A private school one of my children once attended actually said that parents should not be on school grounds without a good reason.

@Trytobekinder can you explain exactly how and why this woman was rude?

In theory I couldn't give a shit either. But a group of mums took a dislike to me many years ago and my DD was not invited on playdates or to parties...