To need space

[getyergladragson]

Dh and I both WFH. Have done for years.

Great having him around but also:

Constant questions/suggestions about my day.
Getting involved in my appointments/errands
He is in and out and has to announce this every time.
Asking me every day if I have any ideas about lunch.
Organising everything when I’ve got it in hand. This is his strength but he needs to be in an office as a manager!

Ww have separate space at home and can work remotely from a cafe and do so 1/2 days a week so it does work but anyone else’s DH love to get so involved in every minute thing?

I am absolutely with you. I hate the "new world" post covid as it is so rarely that I can get my house to myself.

I spoke to DH about it. I think he was a bit hurt that I "don't want him here". It's hard to explain that I just want time on my own in my own house! There was muttering in 2021 about renting an office space, but then there was a grand plan (his) of self building a very large garden office. Which we can neither afford financially or afford in his time to build it. So nothing changed.

I reached the end of my tether last summer. I can't cope with ALWAYS being with either him or the kids or both. I need time on my own, and I need some of that time to be in my house alone. We spoke about it, and he has reduced the little time he spent in the office to even less time in the office because he thinks I am having an affair. Can't be any other reason I want time on my own, hey

I take the kids away for the weekend 3 or 4 times per year, and I am taking them away for nearly 4 weeks of the summer holidays (with gaps!). So he gets loads of time home alone. I suggested he take them away for a long weekend, and he has agreed to take them for one night.

It is going to mean the end of my marriage for me. It is stifling and I hate it. I want to run my own house and feel free to put music on or watch a movie or clean the kitchen at midnight without some inane comment about what/why/when I am doing it. Somehow he always manages to sound disdainful when he makes comments about what I am doing.

Sorry. That's was my rant. But maybe it should be taken as a warning that feeling penned in with someone can escalate quickly if the other person doesn't listen to your need for space.

Good luck

I pick the kids up from school. DH is supposed to be working from 9am til dinner time (5pm). It's great that he can pop in and out and chat to me and the kids from pickup until dinner.

Problems arise when as well as popping in to say hi, he starts telling them how long they can have on screens, how at X time he thinks they should go outside for some air, getting involved in squabbles and telling them when to do homework etc. This means I'm telling them one thing (as I'm the one looking after them when he's working) then he's up behind me telling them to do something else then he trots off back into his office.

He doesn't mean it in a bad way, he is just trying to parent and work at the same time and he feels like he is missing out on the fun.

Does anyone else have the kids at home 3:30-5pm when their partner is working from home? Do you agree who is 'on'?