How do you deal with stupid people TW Domestic Violence

[flipflopsandsun]

Had a conversation with a work colleague this morning that made me want to rip my ears off and throw them at her!
I recently witnessed a really brutal attack on a young woman, a man punching and kicking her in the face in the middle of the street , he was quickly arrested.
My work colleague heard me talking about this poor woman and said .. So did she do anything to fight back or just let it happen?!?
She then went on a massive rant about women "like this" shouldn't complain to the police when they do nothing to help themselves!
She has pissed me off no end, how do others deal with this level of stupidity and ignorance?

Wow! That's fucked up!

In a work setting I don't think I'd do much more than maybe comment that I categorically disagree.

With friends or family I'd be much more robust.

I had similar with a friend of DHs years ago and I think I flicked him in the ear twice during one evening and afterwards explained I'd done it once, he should have been expecting it and not sat anywhere near me etc etc. That seemed to work too.

I'd feel a bit sorry for them that they're so misinformed and therefore at greater risk of dv themselves. You'd be surprised at how some women who are living with dv might talk as well so I'd be inclined to disagree gently.

It's very common. It's internalised misogyny. I grew up when attitudes like that were very common and women were often blamed for winding him up or having made their bed. I hope that woman finds the strength and support to leave.

In a bear attack it's advised to 'play dead' and smaller animals will instinctively do this to protect themselves.
It's a basic survival skill at a primal level to not fight back.
In that situation with someone being attacked why would anyone think fighting back is the best thing? It will only exacerbate the situation and aggravate.
The safest thing is to keep the situation from getting worse.
Yes I say this from personal experience.
To see that situation and to then blame the victim rather than the attacker, says so much about that person.

Plus let's be honest there's no win for women really since when they do 'fight back' they're labelled as just as bad or its not dv they're both just as bad as each other. Damned if you do damned if you don't. The only thing that's helpful is not judging women when we should be judging the men responsible.

I've been in this situation too, I blamed myself for not fighting back (I actually completely froze.. didn't even scream) I now understand that my reaction is very common and is like you said a survival instinct. I was just surprised that In 2024 with so much information at our fingertips anyone would still hold the viewpoint I heard this morning.
Like you said, it says a lot about her as a person.