My husband didn't say goodnight to DS and I

[25smallstacey]

I know you all may think I'm silly/immature but I swear I'm a grown woman in her 30s (but maybe a hormonal one)

Husband and I gave baby son a bath and every night he goes to bed first due to being up very early for work. I came downstairs with baby to feed him and after an hour I realised he got into bed and never said goodnight.

Every night he says goodnight to us both and is very affectionate. Normally says have lovely dreams, gives son a kiss and checks I have everything for the rest of the evening with baby. Baby was quite upset after bath so he would have heard baby crying downstairs.

Tonight.....nothing. He's clearly forgotten.

How old is lo?

Dh is like this

I often forget.

Little one is 7 months. We've been married 18 months

Earlier when H got home from work he was very distracted about a letter in post box, didn't kiss DS and I. This has been happening more and more so maybe that's why I'm upset now

Say something to him tomorrow. You need to nip this in the bud.

I would bring it up if it's been happening a lot but if it's a one off I'm sure he just forgot x

I said to him when he didn't kiss us hello today that this is happening a lot lately. He said 'yeah I've been forgetful'

One of the things I have always loved about him is how affectionate he is

Mine is really affectionate too and I would definitely notice if it had been happening more and more, is he stressed out about anything? Any big changes happening at work etc that could be occupying his mind? X

Are you worried about him or yourself? What are you driving at here?

I'm like this - I can understand if it's something DH has always done and now isn't doing now it's upsetting. I sort of get focused on what I'm doing and forget. DH used to point it out when we first moved in together and we put it down to me being an only child and quite self contained!

I have got better over the years when I realised it bothered him. However, yesterday I headed off to work without saying goodbye as I had a stressful day ahead and was thinking about that (DC all teens now and independent) I did text to apologise and say bye. I love them all very much and am totally committed to my lovely family, it's just how I am.

No big changes, nothing else on his mind.

What am I driving at? I'm using Mumsnet to analyse if I'm being reasonable in my sensitivity or not

He's got hidden debt.

Just ask if he’s ok, rather than ‘you didn’t…’. Sounds like he’s distracted or tired and you miss him. Meet him in the middle.

That's a really reasonable and good answer @PiggieWig

What was the letter about?

@Aquamarine1029 An appointment for DS in a few weeks. Nothing big

I really couldn't get bothered by this. It is definitely me that just goes off sometimes 🤷‍♀️. You are bothered though so that's fair enough.

Does it count that sometimes I just say 'laters' when going to bed ? 🤣

Sounds like he is worried about something - or even about several things.

We spoke a lot about his day. I saw no signs of stress and I even asked was he worried about a big project. He said 'surprisingly no' but I now wonder is it hidden

I'm feeling the shift in behaviour and, as some of you may know, you get excited for another adult to get home when you're with baby so it stands out more when he acts differently

You know him best and you feeling a shift in his behaviour is more telling I think, I would just ask if he's okay, if he needs your support with anything. If he says no I would be wary he was hiding some form of stress and either didn't want me to know about it or didn't want to burden me with it seeing as you have a young child and probably a million other things on your mind x