To email new teacher

[Overthebow]

My DC is starting reception in September. We had the opportunity to specify any friends they know for classes as it’s a big school. My DC only knows a few others so I emailed with those names and a few concerns as my DC is very shy. The head of year emailed back saying she would make sure my DC would be put with at least one of her friends. She isn’t, in fact all her friends are together and she isn’t with them (although her friends don’t actually know each other). I am torn whether to just leave it or to email the teacher as she did say she would make sure my DC would be out with one of them. What do you think, leave it or email to query?

sorry for wrong edit!

I’m a head of year 7 I get this all the time. Email HOY be factual but assertive; explain there must be a mix up as your daughter doesn’t have any friendship groups with her after your previous discussion and you would really value her looking into this after your chat about her confidence levels. Thank her greatly.

I’ve never once not done a move when a parent has approached me like this

An polite email is perfect, the school will be receiving a few in all probability and they'll welcome knowing the tweaks they need to make 🙂

Completely agree! Could be the teacher promised it but it wasn’t possible in the end.

Agree with others - an email is perfect. Just say something like, you understand how busy they must all be at the moment (I always say stuff like this if I am about the request something - no idea why, it just seems more polite somehow) but that you are concerned it may be an oversight as you were told she would be in a group with at least one friend and now she isn't. Say that if it could be rectified so that you can reassure your child about this, as she is nervous about stating school, you would be really grateful. Thank you so much! Etc.

As long as it is phrased nicely and politely, you are not going to piss anyone off here - please don't worry about that. It's a totally reasonable request you have, and you were told it would be sorted, so no problem at all you chasing it up....

Just email the teacher. Were they aware that your dc didn’t have anyone from her friendship list with them in the new classes and you know it’s getting late in the term, but could it be rectified please. You would rather sort it now so she can look forward to starting in September.
The teacher may well give you a call and explain the reasoning or it could just be a mistake. With so many children, mistakes can happen.

I’ve sent a polite email to the head of year stating what she previously promised and asking if there’s anything she can do. If not or I don’t get a response then I will ask for a meeting to discuss as maybe there are other reasons for it.

Surely you mean your daughter went into the school, if it's your grandchild involved?

This happened to my dc2, he had a few friends from preschool and I was told by the staff there that they do pass on details of friendships for the reception teachers to consider. When the class lists came out he wasn't with any of his friends. I was quite upset about it tbh and emailed in. The reception teacher and I had a phone call and it turned out that preschool had given them the wrong information about who he was friendly with. The names she told me she was given - I had never heard of. They weren't able to change the classes so I was worried about dc2 settling in. However he ended up making good friends with 2 other children he'd been placed with, one of whom didn't know anyone before he started. He actually has more friends as a result!

If they can't change the classes then make sure you put a positive spin on it for your dc. I was upset about the situation with dc2 but I was careful to say that although he wouldn't be in a class with friend H they would still see each other at play times. He's coming to the end of y1 and we find out the classes for y2 today. As always I hope that he will be with his friends but if he isn't I will do my best again to highlight how they will see each other at play and lunchtimes.

If the classes have already been sorted then be prepared for them to refuse. When I used to do classes for the next session the P1’s were often split due to age, and on occasion level of need, once those classes were agreed I wasn’t changing them as it often took many meetings with nurseries, relevant professionals involved and teaching staff. All the other children will already have been told who their teacher is, what class they’re in and I assume they’re do a few sessions before the end of term with their new teacher so it’s going to be unfair on one child being moved. Friendships are very fluid at the age your DD is and teachers are so experienced in dealing with shy children.

At my childs school, the headteacher is outside every morning at the gates, she always says hi to the parents and children, so I guess that's why I suggested you could pop by and ask if you could arrange a chat with him/her. Judging by this thread though, it now seems that this isn't the norm. Hope it gets sorted for you OP, either way though I'm sure your child will be fine and make new friends.

Ours is the same always there in the morning to chat to parents and children.

Email the person who agreed to it (the head of year?) not the class teacher.

Thanks everyone for the advice, turns out it was an actual mistake and they sorted it within an hour of me emailing. DCs friends mum had also emailed. My DC is now in the class with both her friends and is very happy. This has all been sorted before the settle play sessions begin so it shouldn’t impact the class.

That's brilliant!

Great news! Just goes to show its worth querying these things, well done OP