Odd University Choice

[Giloin]

DS is waiting for his A level results. He had identical offers from 3 UK universities: 2 of them in the top 10 and one a middling university, which rates highly for student satisfaction for the course he applied for. All to do the same course. One of them is also our home city. He chose our home city as his first choice. He said he liked the course best and it would be 'easier'.

Whilst taking his exams, he seemed unsure about whether to go to uni at all, or go travelling, get a job etc. We reassured him that he could make his own choice, but to concentrate on getting the best results he could, so as to keep his options open. He's going travelling for the summer (partly funded by us), and wanted to wait until he was back to decide. Absolutely fine.

Today he announces that he's going to change his first choice to the middling university. Only justification - he's going to have to move away sometime and it might as well be now.

What do we do know? Just say that's great and leave him to it, or try to influence him to make what we think is a wiser choice, e.g. go to a 'better' university. I wanted him to consider living away from home initially, but he didn't seem keen so based our own life plans on him wanting to live here for the next 3 years.

What are the two unis?

I went to a local university (v good university) and still regret not taking the opportunity to live away from home.

I'd let him go.

I think there is huge advantages to living away and huge disadvantages to living at home, it is harder to integrate,

whay are the unis?

I don't mind him moving away, despite the extra thousands a year we will need to pay for his accommodation. I just wish he'd chosen the prestigious well thought of university, in an interesting historic city, rather than the one that I've only heard of for it's sporting prowess. DS isn't sporty at all. And I'm concerned why he's suddenly made this decision, it's hard to understand.

NB our home university is one of the top 10, the one he's chosen is not.

If he wants to go away I think he should. Firstly, because it's his life and he's entitled to make his own choices and secondly because it's an 'easy' way to make that step into independence. Nothing on earth would have made me want to go to the local university, not because my family life was awful (it was fine) but because I felt I wanted to try out being independent in a way that felt fairly safe.

You’re going to have to say what his two options are! Appreciate you might not want to reveal the home city one though - what else was on his list?

Assume you mean Loughborough?

If the course has a good rating then I would let him get on with it. He will likely resent you if you try to push him to change his mind.

Loughborough isn't terrible tbf.

Has he met a boy/girl who's going there? Often that can have a say in the deciding process.

If it's York I think Loughborough isn't too far off that really. Obviously not RG but that's not important to lots of people.

My DD didn't like the campus at York at all.

It's up to him. If you force him down a particular route and he doesn't like it, he'll blame you. He has to take ownership of the decision, but you can try and present the facts objectively

Unless I've missed something - he could have chosen the other 'top 10' instead of the middling? What's his reason for not doing so? Haven't you asked?

One thing I have learnt about young people this age is that they have to make their own choices (and sometimes mistakes). It can be hard to watch but tbh even if the reason is "because of the nightlife" you can give your opinion but after that it's their choice... They don't even have to give you a reason if they don't want to.

It’s an expensive choice and he’d better be prepared to pay for halls and all the other costs associated with living away.

i see your point but I think you need to leave him to it.

Did he like the town/campus/modules on offer more at the middling one?

Why should he be prepared for that, generally it’s a mix between parents and loan, or working,

Any of the away from home ones have the benefit of ...well being away from home. Its a no brainer surely.

I would look at which courses are ranked better rather than the Uni itself. Has he looked round them? Offer holder days give you a better feel.
My DS is at an excellent Uni but he says he might have gone elsewhere (more fun) given what he knows now. Although he thinks his course will still get him the best job eventually. Job applications are often "blind" so I guess good uni's are more about the contacts or any extra opportunities available. His Uni seems good at that.

Why adults always rely on their parents? You decide to live away then you should be prepared to pay for it or at the very least contribute.

And loans need to be paid back.

How does he propose to change it?

When he went to visit Loughborough, he didn't seem particularly bothered either way. He wasn't keen on it being a bit in the middle of nowhere. The other non-home university - when he came back he was very enthusiastic about the place and the people he'd met, but said he preferred the course here. Which is what he is now saying about Loughborough - he prefers the course and now says he liked the place.

NB I didn't want him to stay at home for uni, but he was clear about preferring this, so we obviously went along with his own choice. As we did when he chose to do a BTEC rather than A levels. And when he then changed his mind and switched to A levels. So we aren't mad controlling dictators, just worried that he is making a poor choice based on not understanding the implications. DD went away to uni and had the time of her life.

He can't change in UCAS now, deadline was June 30. He can talk to the Unis, and if they both agree they can sort it on results day, but it wouldn't be confirmed until then.

Why are people saying Loughborough? Loughborough is ranked about 9th so it is by no means a middling university

Some courses at non-top 10 universities can be really good (content, quality, reputation and student experience) and better than those at overall higher ranked universities. I'd say it's his choice, he should go for the university he wants. Another way to look at it is, if he's chosen hopefully he'll be happier and more motivated to work hard and do well. I also think it's positive for him to move away from home, although if its a late decision to swop he needs to contact the university asap re accommodation.

Ignore that since it is Loughborough!

He's spoken to the unis and it sounds likes he can switch any time before results day, as they both made offers to him. This seems to agree with what I can find online. It's discretional but not generally an issue, as far as I can see. If anyone has more info on this, please do share!