Work/Life Dilemma

[BestestBrownies]

Background:-

DP and I have both recently left our stressful, all-consuming, restrictive jobs approximately 3 years earlier than planned in order to protect our mental and physical health. The compromise being a very much smaller house and more frugal lifestyle than we would have ideally preferred. DP has taken early retirement as he is 12 years older than me. He has a very healthy private pension. I only have the state pension, which will be almost worthless by the time I am eligible to take it.

The Dilemma:-

I was originally going to set up my own 'lifestyle' business. This is low paid but very rewarding and fulfilling, allowing lots of spare time for personal hobbies etc, and a more balanced life that's essentially semi-retired; but it would involve being away from home for long stretches.

I have been offered a full-time job with a very good salary (much lower stress than my previous job), that would mean being in London Mon-Fri and only home at the weekends. The money would put me on a more equal footing with DP, and would mean we could do some desirable renovations to the house.

I am very much on the fence and can't decide. WWYD?

Why did you apply?

Something must have prompted you.

@goingdownfighting I didn't apply. An ex colleague has been promoted and recommended me for her now vacant position (she would be my new manager and wants a team she can trust). She knew I was unhappy in my job, but didn't realise I had left already

Take the job and see how it goes. Your existing clients will forgive/move on.
Good luck.

If DP died, I could afford to buy out his 50% of the house as I have made sound investments elsewhere. We have both stipulated in our wills that the surviving partner has the right to buy out their share of the house and our beneficiaries are aware of this. His DD is the named beneficiary of his pension if he dies also.

Negotiate with the less stress employer for 4 slightly longer days, it'll reduce their costs by 1 night hotel and not massively affect you do to minimal commute, then do the equestrian job on the remaining day. Up your prices a bit for this too.
Bank the cash.

In that case, I wouldn't take the London job and continue with your side job that you enjoy. You will have enough to live on even if your DP were to pass away, right?

Life is short.

You should never rely on a man. Id take the London job.

take the job and see how it goes. A side hustle is nice but money in the bank is better.

I'd take the job.

How old are you OP? And how long have you been together?

You really need to prioritise your own pension in this situation. Particularly as when he dies, you’ll be on your own financially. I’m sorry to be that blunt but you need to protect yourself.

Late 40's. Peri-menopausal and feeling it.

Together almost 11 years

Take the job. You are only in your 40s, you need a decent private pension and a full state pension. Retirement with limited funds is not funny. It is all very well if he is late 50s early 60s and wants you to be around more, but you are financially independent and in your late 40s you are likely to need to do more saving.

If you really think your side hustle will pay enough, also consider how physical it is and how long you can do that.

If you took longer out, so didn't take this job, how easily could you return to something higher paying? Ageism is a real problem in work and I had never had that problem until my early 50s.

It doesn’t sound like you can afford to take the lifestyle option. From what you’re saying, you’re on your own financially with no prospect of that changing. You can only take the lifestyle option if you’ve already secured your financial future (next 50 years).

It’s easy for your DP to say he doesn’t understand why you don’t do the equestrian thing: he’s literally not the one paying your bills. It’s a pretty crass thing to say, actually…

Take the job. It’s your future that you are protecting.

Take the job, you're in your 40s not 60s

Your update and OP seem a bit at odds: the former suggests you don’t personally have enough money to drop your income hugely now & still have adequate income, pension etc, but your update suggests you might. Which is it?