Mumsnet

[Jimblebells]

Hi there. Hope it is ok to ask this, but i recently deleted my MN account and unsubscribed largely due to the fact that as soon as someone raises a relationship question the overriding opinion seems to be get rid/divorce/find new etc - rather than my maybe old fashioned way of thinking none of us are perfect and do your utmost to make it work, because he can't pack suitcases or she doesn't like his habits or hobbies IMO is no reason to throw out... rather than some of the genuine suffering some OH's have to go through. Hope this makes sense. We are married 28 years, not all fun, plenty arguments, not much money, 3 kids etc.... but the rewards for sticking it out with the same one, once the kids grow up and move on are amazing.
If I am making sense or am i just talking nonsense? anyone else relate to what i am talking about the shouting for "kick em out"?

I often wonder if posters are projecting with some of the more OTT responses. I think it's easier to dish out solutions, on an anonymous forum, that you would never dream of taking yourself. Also some posters seem to love a bit of 'pearl clutching' just for the sake of it. Seems to be a fair bit of green eyed monstering and also just downright nastiness from some quarters. Luckily seems to be the unfortunate minority on here.

Obviously, in some cases, LTB is the only solution.

There are a lot of threads on MN that are totally heart breaking. Some of them the only reasonable response is to advise the OP to leave.
But there are also threads where the OP is describing annoying behaviour in their relationship which you feel must be typical of bad periods in a lot of relationships. In some of these the OP seems to want to be actively encouraged to think the situation is so bad she should leave and a lot of posters oblige and tell her yes, the behaviour is so bad ltb. To me I just feel surely sometimes this is the type of behaviour you should be able to work through and surely the relationship is worth more than just throwing in the towel so easily.
My response to a lot of threads is often to advise talking to the partner about issues and see if things can be resolved and then if they can't then think about the way forward. But of course on occasions you just have to say the only solution is splitting up.