To be irritated by this assumption?

[Ifonlyiknewthennow]

I work in a male dominated role, I have a senior role. I'm very proud of my role, and the position it puts us in as a family. DH was out for drinks with a group of friends from a sports team - a group I don't know well. DH asked me to come and join them for drinks when I'd finished work. One of the group was making the usual small with me and asked what did I do for work, I told him 'I work in construction' - his follow up question was what admin role do you have?
AIBU to be irritated that those stereotypes still exist? Or should I be more direct in telling people what I do, so to leave no room for interpretation?

What is a bid writer?

The person responsible for writing tenders / proposals for projects.

'I work in construction' 'I work for ....' 'I work in the same office as husband' You are all leading women into these areas, be bold and proud. There is absolutely so much thought still that men lead the way, but men are confident and cocky and don't let people think less of them... women can do the same. They shouldn't have too, but everything's progressing

"What do you mean, admin?"

And watch them squirm as they dig themselves deeper and deeper into a hole.

If you are a CEO or Director, that's fantastic, and not arrogant to tell people. Why are women hiding their success? There's a huge difference between providing information and bragging, and it lies in what you say immediately after your job title.

...CEO and I love working in construction. Not bragging.

...CEO and I earn more money than you can dream of. Bragging.

Please explore why you feel embarrassed or unworthy.

Instead of seeing it as arrogant to tell people you have a great job, how about seeing it as inspirational, role modelling, challenging bias.

I'm not surprised you were upset, that man was fucking rude after you told him. Get angry. Challenge. How dare he assume you aren't capable of that role. How dare he think you were lying.

My guess is she hides for the same reason I do - people are utter arseholes. I had a bunch of 'friends' (women, to be clear) who started subtly taking the piss out of me because I am a CEO. They were shitheads and I'm no longer friends with them but it's not uncommon - I think women get it a lot lot more than men do.

I don't mention my role to limit the opportunities people have to show me who they really are. I'd rather pretend they weren't total idiots than have incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.

"what admin role do you have?" Really? That's a quite unusual/specific question.

it's really not

Can you think of a single man who ever thinks it is arrogant to say their job title? Absolutely do correct people, you are stating a fact. Your career has clearly gone well, you deserve the recognition.

He now believes he was right that you are in admin.

i find this often from both men and women, I am a high earner and earn more than double my husband who is to be fair a high earner in his own right, we live in a nice and large house, the amount of tradespeople who ask me what my husband does when they see it, really annoys me, the assumption is he’s paid for it.

he will correct it if he’s asked, he will say it’s not me mate it’s her, I usually just give a vague response, very rarely I snap I’m the bread winner, but usually not as there is no need to put my husband down, and why should I care what some random sexist pig thinks.

"Yes, she is. How can I help you?"

"what admin role do you have?" wasn't a genuine question, its a put down from someone who has a chip on his shoulder. Don't let him bother you and don't bother trying to educate him.

YABU. As @NigelHarmansNewWife says, teachers don't tend to say "I work in a school", doctors don't say "I work in a hospital", lawyers don't say "I work in legal services" You should have been more specific.

I’m also very senior in construction and get asked this all the time. I’ve had men ask when the engineer will turn up as they can’t believe I’m capable of dealing with X,Y,Z etc the mind boggles!

Is pretty much my standard response!
Its often closely followed by 'Ooh, a LADY! Mustn't swear!'. Which gets 'no please don't, I fucking hate that' :)

This is nonsense, if I'm to be used as an example of being self-effacing. I tell people my what my job is. The woman in question must've overheard part of a conversation I had with someone else at the event & drawn her own conclusions - or perhaps she asked me (she was that sort of woman), "How did you meet your husband?". It's so long ago, I forget now. I just remember my surprise at being told I was a secretary!

If you are able to offer the role to be substantially wfh (at least 3 days per week) do try "The Work From Home Hub - UK" on Facebook and Instagram. The lady set it up during covid times. Seems to be going very well. My only beef (with an otherwise brilliant site) is that most of the roles are badly paid. Would be good to see some more professional roles on the site.