Not sure if this is post natal anxiety or genuine concern

[Melbourne2050]

Hi all. I’m not sure if this is an AIBU but I didn’t know where else to post this. I have a 4 month old little boy who we are thrilled to have after numerous miscarriages. He has an older sibling. My pregnancy was incredibly anxious to the point where no one was allowed to mention any words linked to pregnancy around me. I had mental health support throughout and am still seeing a therapist. In the past few weeks, triggered by a Guardian article around asbestos in make up I have found myself even more paralysed by anxiety and I wondered if anyone had any experience of similar or if my concerns were warranted. I am spending most days on my maternity leave going through my house and trying to throw out anything toxic, plastic, with BPA etc. I have thrown out all make up with talc in and have been going through the baby toys also throwing things out. Tupperware and pans have gone. I’m mortified that I used to use none glass bottles with my first because of the microplastics link, I’ve bought a water filter to get rid of PFAS in the water, etc etc. When I’m not checking ingredients and throwing things away I’m googling to find more and more chemicals to be aware of. This morning we threw away the playmat because I felt I could literally see the toxins and chemicals being inhaled by my children. My rabbit hole last night was on the link between alcohol and cancer - I’m now trying to think back to all the alcohol I consumed in my twenties and early thirties. I’m also thinking of all the times I heated things in plastic or froze batch made purées in sandwich bags. I’m so sorry if I haven’t explained this well or if it seems insensitive at all-I am just wondering why no one else is as terrified as me of this all, I can’t be the only one reading all of this? I then found myself on old Mumsnet threads terrifying me even more - such as the fact they eat so much chicken in Papua New Guinea it is affecting hormones to such an extent they are hitting puberty much earlier. I can’t talk to my husband about this really but I also can’t go on like this as I am spending so much money and time on trying to protect my children-I just want to be happy around this and enjoy this lovely time. Is anyone else concerned about these things?

Whilst it’s normal to worry about your children’s health, your level of anxiety does sound extreme.
You say you have a therapist - have you mentioned this to them? Are they able to offer any help? It’s not normal to spend your days throwing everything out and worrying about alcohol you consumed years earlier.
Please do contact your health visitor or GP if your therapist isn’t helping you with this.

Thank you very much for your reply @Row23 . I have actually only started seeing my therapist again this week after taking some time off after having my son. I reached out to her again as I wanted to see if there was anything she could do to help rather than spend my time like this. I was honest and we are going to try EMDR and working through the causes. I guess part of me though is still trying to say ‘no these are valid concerns and everyone should be worried about them’ rather than just attributing it to anxiety, if that makes any sense? It’s like I can hear the two arguments being played out in my head and I’ve lost the ability to rationalise what is a ‘normal’ level of worry about my children.

No...this is not ordinary or valid concerns that most other people are experiencing. Please go and see your gp.

Hello!

Have a look at Pandas website for perinatal and post natal anxiety support 💗

@Melbourne2050 sending you a hug and positive vibes. I understand exactly, am going through the same thing thread here and now looking at medication options. It’s awful and all consuming and I really hope that the therapy is working for you.