Worried I am spiralling into madness

[OptimismvsRealism]

Keep having the most vivid, realistic dreams that people I love have died. They're so real.

Feel many of my social connections are dying and I'm scared of loneliness.

Finding it hard to cope with the minor shocks of day to day life. Other people being arseholes is unavoidable, I know this, but I am struggling to take it in my stride

Everything feels sort of sinister and threatening and I can't just "be", I'm constantly on edge

Wish they would just let us have Valium like in the 50s cos this sucks

Is it just me? (I'm 42, it might be peri it might not)

My peri started with extremely vivid dreams at around same age as you.
They did settle after a few months though.

Intrusive thoughts.

You're not mad, but it sounds like you need some help with your mental health.

I'm going through similar myself. It's very tough.

Sounds like peri-menopause which can cause all sorts of weird and wonderful symptoms.
Are you taking any antidepressants as they can cause vivid dreams.

Have a chat with your GP, get your hormone levels checked and take it from there.
Anxiety sucks - hope you feel better soon x

I don't like the idea that everything that can happen to a woman at 42 is assumed hormonal. I mean it COULD be but don't we have mental health separate from that?

God I'm fed up of this thing called life it's so long and mostly horrible.

I have to say, I don't know what I would do without a valium now and again

Not everything that bloody happens to a woman after 40 is perimenopause. We're in danger of slipping back into the days when women's mental was dismissed as 'hysteria' caused by possessing a womb if we assume perimenopause is the answer to every conceivable mental or physical health complaint.

What you're describing sounds much more to me like symptoms of anxiety and depression, particularly the sense of threat and dread you're experiencing, which I've been through myself many times (and decades before I was even close to perimenopause, which I'm still not really experiencing now at 48!)

Valium probably isn't the answer but it's possibly something Sertraline or Citalopram might. (The dreams might get worse at first, though, before you get used to the medication.)

This is definitely how I felt and HRT helped.
I still have the vivid dreams but they aren’t dark like they were before.

are you a GP perchance 😂
this is exactly how many women get fobbed off with antidepressants when they really need something else

You may not like the idea but iat this age it often IS hormonal. Your vivid dreams aren't necessarily a symptom of mental ill health either. I suggest you go to your GP who may be able to help with tests to ascertain what is causing your anxiety.
I've been on HRT for years but since taking Mirtazapine for anxiety and panic attacks (which are much diminished now) my dreams are pretty awful so anti depressants aren't always the answer and valium certainly isn't. Good luck x

I'm afraid I don't agree. Men get mental health care (theoretically at least) and women get hrt and You Go Girl networks. Why are we automatic assumed to be entirely defined by being women?

(I recognise it could be that but I don't agree it's the most likely option to the exclusion of all others)

I was more depressed and anxious at 25 than I am now but I think the depression feels more connected to real problems, if that makes sense.

Please don't brush off posters like myself who are trying to help. Most GPs will ignore pre menopausal symptoms and hand out antidepressants willy nilly. This is NOT the solution and many women attest to that. The ADs don't help in such circumstances.

As far as my own experience and that of both DDs and my male DP, mental ill health is NOT brushed off (in my case thoughts of suicide, breaking down in front of GP etc) at all.

From your age (same as DD1 who began HRT six months ago) you are very likely to be pre menopausal even though it is young.

As long as it is only now or then. When my mother was prescribed it in the late 1960s it was addictive.

I don't mind being addicted to something if it makes me feel better!

If you're not on here for the advice of other women that have been in your situation..... go to the doctors then!!!! Simples

I had all these symptoms when I was 30, it wasn't peri. I think you are having what used to be called a nervous breakdown, but now the closest comparison is burnout.

Definitely look into a course of talking therapy, and maybe gp for some anti anxiety meds

I have periods of feeling like this OP, a mix of anxiety and depression, and I am not perimenopausal, I'm in my late 60s. For me these feelings were definitely triggered by my life circumstances as we've had several bereavements recently (family, and a very close friend). I hope you find an answer which works for you.