Surely my employer is being unfair? Is this quite common?!

[Hallaer]

I’m a (newly) single parent to an 8 month old. I’m due to go back to work in two months and have been discussing my return to work with my employer. I work in an office and sometimes from home. My child’s nursery closes at 6 and there is no way I can leave work at 5:30 to get there in time. I have asked to leave at 5 and start earlier and it’s been rejected. Is this normal? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, just give up work?!

Assuming that you could start earlier, has the employer given a reason for this? From what you describe you are not front of house such as in a retail environment where the place serves customers until 530pm.

Also how long have you worked there, this makes a difference as to the options you have. Seek advice from HR or maybe ACAS.

Inflexible managers are not uncommon, makes me suspicious of an underlying reason to want you to leave.

It will depend on your company’s policy for Flexible Working requests / changes to working patterns. Do they have one?

I would definitely try to stand your ground with this, it sounds like a reasonable request and they should be very clear why it wouldn’t be possible for them to accommodate the request. They should make reasonable adjustment where practical to support your return to work.

Seems ridiculous, OP

They’ve said nobody else in my team does it so the answer is no. I’m the only one with a young child who is on her own, others are dads with wives doing pick ups

How valuable are you to the team op? As in are you easily replaceable in your roll. As in a specialist roll. If so I would use it as leverage and say in that case you might need to consider looking for another roll then see what they say?

If by you finishing earlier, someone else always has to answer phones or lock up or do end of day checks, then they may have a case. Also is there work for you to do if you start earlier. I once worked in an office when there was very little active work first thing but from 9am the phone and emails started to arrive. The firm had a clear rule for everyone, no early starts, no early finish. It prevented a lot of aggro.

im not that valuable but have been there several years

What a tosser!! I'd put it in writing what you want and highlight noone else is (to your knowledge) a single parent, because noone else does it isn't really a reason tbh.

Do you have a union/HR?

It's definitely not unreasonable your request OP. Read your flexible working policy as usually reasonable adjustments should be considered. Unless it's deemed a not reasonable adjustment to the business IE. Opening hours / cannot be alone in building etc.

Was/is there no nursery nearer to work?

Is the office open at the time you would be starting? Is there an operational case for the timing?

Are you a trade union member? They’re usually great for this kind of support.

You need to make a Statutory Flexible Working Request.

Would you be better off finding a child minder who can keep your child a bit later in the evenings? Even just until 6.15pm.

Ca you switch to a nursery near your work instead?

Have you put in a formal flexible working request? You have the right to do that twice a year now, the business have to give it a fair hearing and are only able to decline for 6 very specific reasons. Take a look at the reasons they can reject your request and try to factor mitigation into your request and be prepared to negotiate. Eg, you can't stay earlier and finish earlier because no one else does, can you start at same time but reduce your lunch break by half an hour, will being there earlier give better coverage in the office etc etc. you could mention something along the lines of having peace of mind that your baby is sorted will enable you to work to your full capacity free of worry and stress.
Acas are a great resource, take a look at their website and give them a call.

Can you take a shorter lunch. If you get an hour, take 30 mins. Leave 30 mins early?

Was this a formal flexible working request or a casual discussion with your boss?

If it's a formal request they have to properly consider it and can only turn it down with a good reason.

It sounds like a reasonable request and their response is not in line with the law around flexible working. They need to have a conversation with you and actually explain why your request cannot be accommodated. Have you put in a formal request or just had a conversation ? Get your flexible working policy and put in a formal request. If you did this speak to Acas and get some advice as they are breaking the law by not discussing the reason with you

I think they need to give a better reason and there are only limited reasons they can decline a flexible working request. If you are in a union, contact them. And you can appeal refusal of your request if you have submitted a formal request and they have formally declined.

Sounds like a shit company. Any reasonable employer has some flexibility these days, if staff happiness is important to them. We have low staff turnover because people appreciate being able to pick up kids, attend sports days etc.

Have you become a hinderance now you have a baby? So they’re making your life difficult because this sounds ridiculous so what if no one else does it, you need to. Do not let this lie. I feel you have a strong case if you take it further I feel you’re solution is a great one.

Have you made the request formal in writing? Is the office open and would there be things for you to do if you started earlier? You need to demonstrate how starting earlier benefits the company- NOT how it benefits you.
If they won't agree, is there a closer nursery to work or one that stays open later.

I had a similar request from a staff member- not for childcare, but to leave earlier on Fridays due to traffic. We had no clients before 9am, so there was nothing for her to do, it would have put pressure on the rest of the team to cover her clients in the afternoon, plus she would often take the piss. I said no.

Like others have asked; have you actually made a formal Flexible Working Request or have you just had informal discussions that have gone nowhere? It’s an important distinction and you will get better advice on here if you clarify OP.

Honestly, it beggars belief that in 2024 a company can be so inflexible. Fight your corner and good luck. Tossers.

The two big companies I have worked for pre children simply did not have working mothers. Women were either pre children or had teenagers. When I wanted to go back to work I was told that part time was impossible, so I had to leave. I realised then why working mothers find it almost impossible to hold down decent jobs. Fight this if you can op, you aren't asking for the world.
Edited as I've just remembered something funny, a MAN from the same company I had to leave requested flexible working around custody arrangements when he separated from his wife - of course it was granted. Another woman returned from maternity leave to be deliberately shunted to a soon to be made redundant job because "she hadn't been able to keep up with training".