H sneaky with phone

[CT2974]

Always glued to phone, never leaves it anywhere. Always with him.

if i walk into a room hes in he flicks up on the phone to get off what hes on so its back to the homescreen

if mine runs out of battery, i ask to use his and he goes into panic and deletes WhatsApp threads. Then will hover over me trying to get it back asap

went up the garden and had a full conversation with someone (he was drunk). I asked the next day who he was talking to and he couldn’t remember

last night i woke up and he was still downstairs at 145am talking to someone on his phone

im thinking something aint right here

If it's quacking, it's usually because it's a duck 🦆

Definitely something not right! Why is he being so secretive and going into panic mode when you ask to use his phone? Also, deleting whatsupp messages?????
My obvious reckoning would be another woman; you need to confront him in as calm a manner as possible. Don't let it go

Previously he has been in contact with an old shag and was asking her to meet up. All flirty his side not from hers. Shes on his facebook page though but i think shes with someone now.

Were in the early stages of divorce (my choice due to his drinking). He doesnt want us to split up and has begged me to retract it. Were still living together. Hes been like this with his phone for a long time.

It's 99.99% exactly what it looks like.

He's up to no good. It might be another woman or it might be porn or even gambling.

Whatever it is, you are divorcing him so will be well rid.

I feel like now were divorcing i dont have a right to ask him what hes doing, although were still living in the house with kids, eating together etc

how would you deal with this? Would you ask?

If you’re divorcing why do you care? Start focusing on planning your future without this alcoholic sneaky man.

Exactly what i was going to say. You're divorcing him so you need to let go. Doesn't sound like youll be missing much tbh.

I just thought he might wait until we were divorced. Im still ploughing ahead with that. Its been a long time coming, dont get me wrong but for me, im just not interested in that side of things at the moment. I just practically want to get myself and kids sorted. For all his declarations of he will change/we can make it work etc and hes doing this.

perhaps its because were all still under the same roof and being amicable (well until he starts drinking at night)

"Were in the early stages of divorce..."

Do you mean that you were in the early stages of divorce but have now reconciled? Or was it supposed to be we're (as in we are) in the early stages of divorce?

If you are getting divorced then I can't see that it really matters, does it?

And how often does your phone battery die? My husband and I never use each other's phones because there's no reason to.

Should’ve mentioned in the OP that you’re divorcing really. Obviously it’s still not nice but just use this as a reminder of why you need to get out. He sounds pathetic.

Similar was going on when I was divorcing too and to be honest I couldn’t care less. I just wanted rid of him. If he has always been like this with his phone and had form for it, he will be up to something. Just crack on with the divorce and leave him too it. Oh, and what’s good for the goose is good for the gander as I found out :-)

We are

I think you could take two lessons from this, OP: (1) from the looks of it you're getting one more confirmation that you're doing the right thing divorcing him and (2) you need to start getting your head round the idea that what he gets up to is nothing to do with you, and not something you need to worry about.

If he's getting divorced he can do what he wants surely?

(3) Don't let your phone battery die.

I think its coming to the point we need to live separately. I wouldn’t be bothered about it so much if he was living somewhere else. I couldn’t imagine texting another bloke whilst in this situation. Its just a bit wrong as were not fully divorced yet??

but yeah, its all fuel to divorce quickly. Perhaps he lining up his next woman to become a cock lodger!

surely if you are divorcing & no longer together he can talk to whoever he wants to. He might just be speaking to a friend about the situation

If you are getting divorced why does it matter that he was still up at 1.45am. Do you still share a bed? Have you actually filed for a divorce? When is he moving out?
I find it strange that you are so concerned about his phone and bed times if you are no longer together as a couple. Yes he could have waited but if he was living elsewhere you wouldn’t know these things.
Spend your energy getting things in place for you and your children’s future.

Talk about drip feeding!

This post entirely changes the context so all your YANBU votes will be people who only read post 1.

If you're divorcing and not together then the content of his phone is none of your business. So YABU.

He doesn't believe that you mean it, about the divorce. He thinks he can continue to treat you like shit. He is cheating and/or gambling/porn.

Be careful OP, once he realises you mean it about the divorce, he will turn nasty. As people on here say, get your ducks in a row now.

You'd be correct in thinking you'd lost the right tbf.

When i say early days of divorce i mean a week since i submitted it. Ive told him verbally but im not sure if hes received it yet?

Good job you've put in for divorce I say! Heavy drinker & suspicious behaviour will only drive you crazy if you stay any longer