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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand what they expect me to do?

470 replies

bloodypublicservice · 03/07/2024 13:58

I was called up for jury service starting in less than two weeks from now. I work Saturdays only as I otherwise do all of the childcare whilst my partner works full time. Originally I stated I was available as my MIL was going to have our daughter, however MIL has experienced a significant and unexpected health issue resulting in being hospitalised for the foreseeable. I've contacted the relevant department to have received a response stating that my request to be excused from this call for service has been refused and that I must still attend at the stated day/time. It mentions appealing but that a hearing is likely to be called, and given the start date is so soon, it's realistically not going to be resolved before starting.

WIBU to show up on my start date with my child and ask what else they expected me to do? We have no other local family and no provision for external childcare.

OP posts:
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6
Butchyrestingface · 03/07/2024 17:40

@bloodypublicservice

I'm one of three people I know who's got off jury duty in the past six weeks (in my case, for the second time). In my case, it was due to my job; one friend - think she had recently had Covid; another friend's son was called but was going on holiday.

If you have to attend jury selection day, the clerk should ask anyone who has a reason not to serve to speak to them privately. Do this.

In all my years of attending trials (professionally!), I have never known a court to force someone to serve on a jury when they have given a reason at jury selection as to why they can't do it. The court doesn't want to run the risk of jury members not turning up and a trial having to be abandoned.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 03/07/2024 17:44

But there are in this case, two parents, one of whom could take parental leave.

You seriously can't expect him to take unpaid parental leave indefinitely!

And to those saying OP's husband can take annual leave, what if he doesn't have any left? I've used a huge chunk of mine already this year and certainly wouldn't have 2 weeks or longer spare!

Currymaker · 03/07/2024 17:56

Not all the jurors who are called on any given week actually end up in court - there's always extras kept hanging around. If you have no other choice then take your child in with you and explain the situation to the liaison officer who books you in. They can be very helpful, and you probably won't be the first. Don't worry about wasting the court's time ; in my experience they waste the juror's time far more than the other way round (but usually with good reason).

theRealRoseByAnyOtherName · 03/07/2024 17:57

@bloodypublicservice according to https://www.gov.uk/jury-service/delaying-or-being-excused-from-jury-service you can ask to change the date or be excused if you are a new parent and will not be able to serve at any other time in the next twelve months.

According to https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/64244c732fa848000cec0eed/summoning-officers-when-considering-deferral-excusal-applications-guidance.pdf a 'new parent' is one with an infant or child younger than compulsory school age.

I would politely challenge the decision you have been given - or ask why these guidelines don't apply to your circumstances.

ginasevern · 03/07/2024 17:57

@Julyshouldbesunny

"Surely you appreciate a jury is vital to the upkeep of the law and the jailing or wrong uns?
Yabu not to find childcare.. Friend? Neighbours?"

What sort of world do you live in where you can just ask friends or neighbours to look after your toddler potentially for a fortnight? Maybe you live in a TV show, maybe you are extremely lucky or not particularly bothered who you leave your child with.

In the real world most people would be very fortunate to find someone safe and suitable to have their child for a day. Jeez.

AdoraBell · 03/07/2024 17:58

I would look for a child minder and if none can accept your child then yes, turn up with your child and tell you’ve tried child minders.

diddl · 03/07/2024 18:09

She told them that she had to see her grandchild so can't do jury service and they accepted the request.

Perhaps she deferred?

Doesn't seem likely that visiting a GC would be an excuse does it?

IMustDoMoreExercise · 03/07/2024 18:12

Julyshouldbesunny · 03/07/2024 14:21

Surely you appreciate a jury is vital to the upkeep of the law and the jailing or wrong uns?
Yabu not to find childcare.. Friend? Neighbours?

Well, once her kids are older she will be able to do it, just not now.

AgentProvocateur · 03/07/2024 18:16

Aquamarine1029 · 03/07/2024 15:34

As if the police have time for that.

They will go to your door. At least, in Scotland. That’s routine.

CuttingMeOpenthenHealingMeFine · 03/07/2024 18:18

AgentProvocateur · 03/07/2024 18:16

They will go to your door. At least, in Scotland. That’s routine.

I’m in Scotland, I didn’t go, no one came to the door or at least not when I was home.

Kinneddar · 03/07/2024 18:23

Aquamarine1029 · 03/07/2024 15:34

As if the police have time for that.

They do and will if directed by the court

Redglitter · 03/07/2024 18:27

CuttingMeOpenthenHealingMeFine · 03/07/2024 18:18

I’m in Scotland, I didn’t go, no one came to the door or at least not when I was home.

May depend on the court & the number of jurors who turn up but it does happen. Frequently.

You were possibly just lucky your absence didn't matter at the time

maw1681 · 03/07/2024 18:35

Can't believe some of the replies! OP can't just leave a 14 month old with a random childminder or neighbour the child hasn't met before, it's potentially 2 weeks full time! Highly unlikely she would find a nursery with space too and also I wouldn't have been happy just to dump my child in nursery without a settling in period.
Her husband can't just waste 2 weeks holiday on this and how would they afford unpaid leave? Jury pay covers the juror only.

Also my DH had to do jury duty a few months ago, he turned up on the first day and they said they didn't need him at all and he could go home, and that was his jury duty over!
How frustrated would OP be if that happened if she'd paid for childcare for 2 weeks!

OP you will have to appeal, and just don't turn up on the day. You're not being unreasonable your planned childcare fell through which you can prove and your DH can't get time off, there is literally no other option. I can't believe they refused your request tbh. I would be backing up my decision to appeal with a letter/email stating all the reasons you won't be there.

Summertimeinschool · 03/07/2024 18:40

They are calling your bluff that you can't get childcare, so you'll have to prove that you really don't have any and turn up with your child.

Wrongsideofpennines · 03/07/2024 18:57

I would ask to defer. You had childcare and that has now fallen through because they are in hospital. You give dates when you can do it instead and that might get you further. Otherwise if your husband really can't take annual leave you will need to prove it and take it to appeal. Don't take your child to court with you, but if the appeal isn't before the date you're due to start then you'll have to ring them on the first day instead.

In some areas there aren't even nursery places for children who need them for parents to work, never mind adhoc for 2 weeks.

JudgeJ · 03/07/2024 19:05

ilovesooty · 03/07/2024 14:18

It sounds as though your husband will need to take some time off. I don't think you have grounds to be excused. Turning up with your child wastes the court's time.

You wouldn't get into the building with an unauthorised person in tow.

Psspsspssssss · 03/07/2024 19:07

@maw1681 I'm also shocked at the responses on a site called MUMSnet. It's not the fault of ordinary people that childcare etc is so hard to find!
If the courts really cared about democracy they could IDK find and pay for a nanny?
No suggestions OP just wanted to support

AFmammaG · 03/07/2024 19:09

I don’t think you can say yes and then change your mind? Is that what’s happened? You can say no and explain why. Then they decide if the reason is valid as follows

  1. you’re having an operation
  2. you’re sitting an exam
  3. your employer will not give you time off work
  4. you have a holiday booked
  5. you’re a new parent
kickerconspiracy · 03/07/2024 19:13

You shouldn’t have committed to it unless you had bulletproof childcare lined up. You can get out of jury duty very easily if you say you can’t arrange childcare. I’ve done it twice.
Once you have committed, it’s very, very difficult to get out of. It’s taken very seriously if you don’t turn up and turning up with a kid amounts to the same. I wouldn’t risk it. I don’t know what you can do and it is shit but I’m sorry op you’ve put yourself in this position.

AbraAbraCadabra · 03/07/2024 19:13

Kinshipug · 03/07/2024 17:13

Mumsnet is mad. Parents ought to have a multitude of childcare options permanently on tap just in case. But also, nobody should ever be expected to provide childcare ever.

This. If the OP was bemoaning that no one would help her with childcare the posts would all be "well they are your child, you can't expect anyone to help you with childcare ever"!!!!!

JudgeJ · 03/07/2024 19:16

IMustDoMoreExercise · 03/07/2024 18:12

Well, once her kids are older she will be able to do it, just not now.

At which time MN will be complaining that juries are made up of oldies! I did it for the first time a month before my 76th birthday, the upper age limit, our jury was fairly mixed in age, gender etc but it was clear that for some people it had been difficult to arrange especially around children as the schools were breaking up for Christmas during our time there.

Fiftyand · 03/07/2024 19:16

Crunchymum · 03/07/2024 14:41

Who is able to magic up two weeks of childcare with two weeks notice?

Who is allowed to book two weeks of annual leave with two weeks notice?

Who has a neighbour / friend who is willing and able to provide childcare for two weeks?

MN never ceases to amaze me.

I agree!

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 03/07/2024 19:23

LewishamMumNow · 03/07/2024 15:36

I think your DP should be able to get time off - it would be emergency child care - which everyone has the right to time off for, although no right for it to be paid.
I do agree though, a deferral will be looked on very sympathetically, whereas simply trying to get out of it will not be.

Emergency childcare is for emergencies - not for two weeks of something that has been known about in advance. And it's generally short term, in an emergency to arrange childcare. Most employers wouldn't allow it to be used for this.

kickerconspiracy · 03/07/2024 19:23

Summertimeinschool · 03/07/2024 18:40

They are calling your bluff that you can't get childcare, so you'll have to prove that you really don't have any and turn up with your child.

She could get fined up to a thousand pounds for not turning up. If she turns up with a child, she won’t be able to serve and will probably get fined just the same. She won’t get through the door with a child in tow.

JenniferBooth · 03/07/2024 19:24

MimiSunshine · 03/07/2024 16:29

Are you serious? Did you actually think through what you suggested?

ask a friend or neighbour to do two weeks childcare for you? How many people do you think would be willing or able to do that?

Quite frankly @Julyshouldbesunny if a neighbour of mine who i dont know very well asked me to look after a 1 year old for two weeks i would see it as a safeguarding issue