To not understand what they expect me to do?

[bloodypublicservice]

I was called up for jury service starting in less than two weeks from now. I work Saturdays only as I otherwise do all of the childcare whilst my partner works full time. Originally I stated I was available as my MIL was going to have our daughter, however MIL has experienced a significant and unexpected health issue resulting in being hospitalised for the foreseeable. I've contacted the relevant department to have received a response stating that my request to be excused from this call for service has been refused and that I must still attend at the stated day/time. It mentions appealing but that a hearing is likely to be called, and given the start date is so soon, it's realistically not going to be resolved before starting.

WIBU to show up on my start date with my child and ask what else they expected me to do? We have no other local family and no provision for external childcare.

That's very different to emergency, temporary childcare.

That's a separate issue based on your personal view, not on what a court finds acceptable for refusal.

I'm really surprised the OP is getting a hard time in the comments. I appreciate the importance of jury service and our justice system (heck, I'm a lawyer) but I do think people who are the primary cater for a child (or anyone else) should be excused - e.g. assuming her DH isn't self employed it would be perfectly easy for their family if he were the one who got called, as his employer would have to allow him time off for it (and he wouldn't lose out financially), but as the primary childcarer without other childcare available (and even if OP was fine to put her child in nursery for the period, it's expensive - if you're not otherwise paying nursery fees I don't see why you should have to for jury service) I don't really see what she's supposed to do, and it should be perfectly easy to excuse her on these grounds. Basically I just don't think jury service should leave people massively out of pocket (and if it's just not feasible then you should be excused). There are plenty of people - myself included, for whom it would be far far less of an inconvenience to call.

I didn't say it wasn't – I said childminders are available in the areas I have recently and currently live.

Nanny agencies cover almost every locality and exist for jury duty, illnesses like chicken pox, temporary nursery closures, when your existing nanny is unwell and many other unexpected reasons.

Yes, they do. But they cost more than £65 a day by a long way.

You're arguing that you can easily find a childminder for this specific situation. For most of us, that's not the reality.

What if op cannot afford to pay an emergency nanny? As I'd imagine a large amount of the country couldn't?

A separate issue from what? Childcare is literally the topic of discussion. And of course it's a personal view, as is yours. None of us speak for the courts. You'd go into debt to foist your baby on a stranger, fine, but I think most parents would not.

I didn't say it can easily be found – I said places exist and that saying places don't exist for OP is conjecture because we don't know what she is and she hasn't enquired for them. That's astoundingly simple.

I have also repeatedly said that I am aware emergency nannies are a higher cost, but that working people are also severely out of pocket as the £65 a day does not cover loss of earnings either.

I have also said that I am not arguing costs are adequate, I am simply saying OP is not disproportionately affected compared to anyone else facing jury service, and therefore a court is reasonable for treating her refusal as such if they choose to. That is literally my only argument.

Isn’t it though? Your work have to excuse you, but if you don’t work because you have children to lokk after, that should be a good enough reason. There’s no legal requirement for companies to give someone time off to look after the children because the sahm is doing jury service, they cannot expect this.

It's your personal view that it is not acceptable to put your child in an unfamiliar childcare setting for the reason of jury service.

I have never said OP should or shouldn't or that she should find it reasonable or not – I have only said that the avenues exist to get childcare, to get compensated as much as any other jury member serving and that this is what the courts require of anyone summoned.

Having to find someone to look after your children at short notice is much more emotionally challenging than taking leave from work they legally must give you. The op is absolutely disproportionately more affected.

We're not talking about everyone else. This is a discussion about the OPs childcare. We're not staging a protest. The courts absolutely should consider (and probably will in the end) the wellbeing of a baby above all. In fact I don't believe the OP has mentioned the compensation at all, it is you who seems to think money is the only issue at hand.

It doesn’t really matter if ‘working’ people are out of pocket does it. It matters that op has a small child who has never been left in ‘childcare’ other than with people who the baby knows they have one income coming in and she did have childcare and through no fault of her own now doesn’t. She did try, but I don’t think she should have to pay someone - I certainly couldn’t afford it, I had 2 under 2 and 2 older children. So £64 a day wouldn’t have even covered an hour. I don’t know where they think people will ‘find’ money for emergency childcare etc travel food when it’s not part of their normal budget, I certainly don’t have it spare, or the ability to pay on a cc etc

I was called once and am a nurse and was in winter so at that time you could say no due to work not allowing it, which I did and I’ve never been called again. Thankfully as youngest has autism and adhd and can’t be left with ‘childcare’ so I’d be really stuck.

You can't quantify 'emotionally challenging' on any one individual or a group of them based on characteristics, being a parent or not being a parent. Everyone will feel differently about this and have different options available to them.

Of course it matters if working people are out of pocket when they can't afford it. Parents aren't the only people entitled to financial wellbeing. Every child will react differently to being left in childcare, so you can't quantify that either. A court certainly cannot quantify it on mass.

"It's your personal view that it is not acceptable to put your child in an unfamiliar childcare setting for the reason of jury service."

I don't think this is merely a personal view. I think to leave a 14 month old, who has only ever been minded by parents/close family with an unknown adult, for 10 hours a day with no settling in, would be EXTREMELY detrimental to this child. All the literature on attachment theory would indicate that the separation anxiety and panic it would cause in the child to be (in her eyes) abandoned by her mum would make this option untenable.
That's not just my personal opinion. It's science.

I'd love to start an AIBU: my 14 month child has never been away from me before. Starting on Monday I'm going to drop her off at childcare at 8 and leave her til 6. Nah, she doesn't need to settle in gradually. AIBU?

It maddens me that the system is so inflexible. For the jury system to work fairly, we need a good cross section of jurors including SAHMs, people with caring responsibilities, etc. So the court should support people like you, maybe by giving you more notice to allow time to make arrangements.

I tend to agree. If it was an alright idea, settling in sessions wouldn't exist.

It's madness to leave a small child with someone they've never met for 8 hours or longer without prev settling in etc.

My daughter was called up recently and just told them she had no childcare as she has 3 in school and a 1 year old and they just came back to her and said she would be removed from jury service

I really don't understand why some of these posts are being so twatish?

"Why doesn't DH take unpaid leave?" You don't know the finances and that's not so easy to do.
"You're just not trying" fuck off
"You could dump your baby with any old nursery, you just don't want to!" Really? Like every parent here didn't research the nurseries they used, did settling in sessions etc.

Whoever the OP is dealing with is being an utter jobsworth. Yes, we all need to do jury service but it shouldn't come at the detriment of our family income or our own children's safety.

@bloodypublicservice i really hope you get this sorted.

She had plenty of notice and did make arrangements, but they fell through due to illness.

I agree, I’m a working Mum so not anti childcare but I would totally disagree with taking a child who is not used to childcare and randomly shoving them into whatever setting has space with no settling in period for an indeterminate period of time when jury duty can easily be deferred.

There are some things most people can agree. Everyone takes leave from work reasonably regularly and frequently enjoys it. It’s rarely a source of trauma. Stay at home mums with pre school children mostly want to be the ones to look after their children and are not in the habit of leaving them with strangers. Being forced to leave them with strangers occurs relatively infrequency and in most discussions you hear about this is a source of trauma for both child and mother. To argue these situations are equal because everyone’s an individual is ridiculous. I work full time, so clearly leave my children all the time. I’m privileged to be able to afford childcare and find nurseries where my children are nurtured. I give them several settling in sessions over weeks. I’ve used emergency nannies so I can work but I’ve never left my child with a stranger, I work from home if I have an emergency nanny so I’m right there (not to mention it costs more than double the daily stipend for jury duty)

practically speaking, childcare waitlists mean I couldn’t possibly arrange childcare with this kind of notice. I put my first baby’s name down at birth and had to delay my return to work until I had childcare, then work part time for months until I got a full time place. My child was 2 something when I got a letter from one nursery I’d registered them at to say they had a place. Like many locally, family for us was on the other side of the planet. It is astonishing this isn’t a reason to move the jury service date.

Everyone takes leave from work reasonably regularly and frequently enjoys it

Most certainly not when they are not being paid for 2 weeks or are forced to take annual leave that they either don't want to take or may not have any/enough remaining. You are deliberately comparing the most ideal of situations with the very worst of situations to make an argument, and that doesn't wash because the majority of people are somewhere in the middle, and that is why the courts apply the same scrutiny to everyone, as they should.

I'm puzzled by the attitudes of posters on this website. I thought this is supposed to be a supportive forum for mothers (and others)...

It is totally reasonable not to want to leave a one year old at some random childcare they aren't used to, possibly for weeks but you don't know if that's needed in advance (if you live somewhere such childcare is available) at personal cost to do jury service.

The op will have capacity in future to do jury service.

I agree unless it's an actual emergency (e.g. mother in hospital) it should be avoided.

Jury service can be deferred.

Also it's totally impractical because you don't know in advance if it will even be needed. I went for jury service and was there about one hour- but if I had had a child at that time I would have been supposed to source childcare for weeks just in case I am selected for the jury?