To expect 2 year old to participate in group time/activities

[whatareyouwaitingf0r]

My DS has just turned 2 and I take him to a pre-school gymnastics/soft play class for an hour every week. The class is a mix of free play and group time. The instructors also do different activities for the children to earn badges and work towards certificates etc.

My DS has been going for a few months but has shown no interest in doing the structured activities despite lots of attempts from the instructors to persuade him with stickers/badges etc. Instead he just wants to carry on running around exploring the gym/soft play on his own terms. He also rarely participates in group time, on occasion he will join in if it’s a song he likes, but most the time he’s indifferent to it.

Am I expecting too much of him to participate at this age? I can’t help but see all the other children taking part nicely, and doing the activities to earn their badges. I feel like the other parents are giving me the side eye as I’m the mum of ‘that kid’ who just runs around doing his own thing for an hour 👀

Yes you’re expecting too much. He’s just turned two.

He's barely two years old - in the nicest way, give him a break!

You'll get some 2 year olds that will join in with these things but others that won't and both are "normal" at this age.

Yes don't worry, you're expecting a lot. Some kids love all that and some kids just want to run about. It'll come. Attending it will show him structure and social etiquette that will be useful for school even if he's not engaged with it just yet. Just keep on taking him and suggesting he gets involved.

Why does it have to happen just because you demand it

Yes you are expecting too much! He’s little more than a baby. Plenty of time for group activities when he’s older!

All dc are different, just like all adults are different. The dc that have grown up to be adults that love working with a team on set projects with defined goals and pay, are different from the dc that grow up to be adults that like deep sea fishing or mountain climbing. Just encourage your DS to build his skills generally and let him dive deep into what he loves (which is what you are doing by taking him to a group activity but letting him run around)

My ds was exactly the same. He’s now (much) older and completely capable of taking part in any group activity. They’re just babies at that age - expectations of joining in for a lot of these children are unrealistic at that age. Looking back, I’m surprised at how many children were able to take part. Do not worry about this at all.

Ok I get it, I’m expecting too much!

I’m a first time mum and see all the other children of the same age (although some are older) queuing up nicely for the activities, and there’s my child is running around causing mayhem and ignoring the instructors 🤣

Thank you for the nice replies giving me reassurance!

Neither my children sat in groups- exploring was their thing. At the time I assumed something was wrong and then I realised the ridiculous expectations on a toddler. Enjoy them for who they are.

The badges and certificates are for the parents in case you haven't realised. 2 year olds couldn't care less.

He's a baby still and is exploring the world. Let him be.

My ‘wayward’ toddler is now very sporty and still very energetic and busy if that helps to reassure further!

Kindly you are and you could have been describing my child when I took him to something similar. I gave it a go as I paid for 6 sessions, kept him from being disruptive to the others and went to 5 sessions but he was just not interested. Would not get involved and would run around the hall. Yes there were other kids there sitting and following instructions and he was the odd one out but I just had to tell myself it wasn’t for him and they all do things at different stages. He was better off at less structured classes and I felt more relaxed. Now we go to soft play, parks, classes where they can join in what takes their fancy

Just got back from our weekly gymtots session - it's always really hard when you think yours is the only kid not doing the activities. My DD is 3 in September and has variable levels of interest - some weeks she's teacher's pet and does everything she's supposed to and then others, like today, she's just not bothered and would prefer a runaround.

On the other hand OP, mine would cling to my leg and not leave my side, so running around is an achievement, even if it wasn’t the one you were looking for!

My DS was exactly the same at that age and is now thriving in P1! My DD however is the 2 year old that will just do what she's told - not sure it's a good thing tbh as I don't want her to be a people pleaser.

He’s still a little one - he’s just exploring and having his own adventures. Don’t give it a second thought.

This reminds me of my attempt at Baby Ballet - all my 2 year old daughter wanted to do was turn the lights off! All the other girls sat beautifully! I am still friends with lots of them now and we laugh about it!

Ironically she now goes to ballet without any issue with the lights!

YABU, not just because he's two, but you can't and shouldn't force someone to join in with something like this if they don't want to - it's supposed to be a fun activity, how much fun would it be doing it just because it's expected of you? Not much I'd imagine. Back off and let him find what he enjoys and accept it may not fit your agenda or idea of what might be fun - we're all different.

That reminds me of taking my son (who is now 8 and perfectly capable of taking part in group activities) to a playgroup at around the same age, every week it ended with circle/song time and every other toddler joined in, at least for most of it, mine would not entertain it for one second!

It looks like it's just your DC that can't sit nicely and join in because the parents that stick with the classes are the parents of children who sit nicely and join in! Everyone else swerves it because their DC don't enjoy it or would be better off out in the park or whatever. It's fine, don't sweat it, try something else.

My little one is 21 months old and he's got no interest in group things or organised activities at all. Even going to the park, he's got zero interest in the swings, slides, climbing frames. He has way more fun running around doing his own thing. Honestly just turned 2 is so little still. If he's happier running around just let him do that 😊

Yeah, he's too little. Some 2 year olds will do that but some won't - both totally within the realms of normal. One of mine would have engaged at that age and the other wouldn't.

It also sounds a bit confusing for a toddler that there's free time then some structured activity and at a soft play so all the fun "free time" toys are still right there. I'd either just let him do his own thing and not worry or find a different group where there's not all the enticing fun soft play stuff around while you're trying to entice him to the more structured bit.

Yes too young. Our local gymnastics clubs don't take until 2.5 or 3 years for the preschool sessions. Both mine did not follow the instructions until just after 3 - I took DC2 at 2.5 because I was going with DC1 (thinking they would copy their sibling) and they just weren't ready so didn't try again until after 3 when they took to it instantly