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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Prepared to be told I'm wrong.

22 replies

MrsFunkyPanda · 03/07/2024 08:16

Am I being unreasonable? We're in social housing and got new neighbours (a mum and her 14 year old daughter) at the beginning of last year, all was good until June/July time when the mum would leave for nights at a time leaving the daughter there with her friends, nothing necessarily wrong with that but alcohol had been bought for them and many nights they were outside drinking till gone midnight. This carried on almost every night until the end of October when it went quiet again. Come February this year the mum has essentially moved out into her boyfriends place having only been back overnight once. Her daughter is now 16 and it's almost like living next door to a youth club of 15-17 year olds. They're often outside smoking weed, the garden is neglected to the point bramble bushes are 6 feet into our garden (I have cut them back 3 times this year already) they can be slamming doors and shouting until 1-2 in the morning and there's rubbish starting to pile up in the garden. I have tried to speak to the mum about it but it's hard catching her when she's sober. I'm not great with confrontation but would it be unreasonable of me to report it to the local council?

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 03/07/2024 08:17

I would report them. They are abusing the tenancy and the noise and mess needs dealing with

Daffodildilys · 03/07/2024 08:18

I would definitely report it.

Itstherichthatgetthepleasureasusual · 03/07/2024 08:20

I'm surprised you have put up with this for as long as you have.
Yes you should report this to the council.

ILikeItWhatIsIt · 03/07/2024 08:32

I would report it to the police too if I were you. Apart from the antisocial behaviour, they're 15-17 year olds smoking weed & drinking.

LakeTiticaca · 03/07/2024 08:45

Yes definitely report it. Have you spoken to any of the other neighbours about it?

MrsFunkyPanda · 03/07/2024 08:56

LakeTiticaca · 03/07/2024 08:45

Yes definitely report it. Have you spoken to any of the other neighbours about it?

Because of how the houses are situated we're really the only ones on this estate that are impacted.

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 03/07/2024 09:10

You should report it to the council, yes. Apart from anything, if there’s an underage teen essentially fending for herself most of the time, it’s potentially one for social services, but you should report it from a nuisance point of view as well.

Itstherichthatgetthepleasureasusual · 03/07/2024 09:16

MrsFunkyPanda · 03/07/2024 08:56

Because of how the houses are situated we're really the only ones on this estate that are impacted.

It's a horrible situation to be in.
I was in the position of having to report my neighbour because of the bags and bags of rubbish in her garden. The seagulls were bursting them open and spreading the contents- a lot of take away food packaging- and I knew we would end up with rats if nothing was done.
It's not a nice thing to have to do but there comes a point when there is no option.

TiredHippo · 03/07/2024 09:25

I contacted my local council three times when essentially the same happened to me, the dad basically moved out and left his son and his friends to move in. Music blaring most nights, they got a dog they left during the day that constantly barked, they even managed to get a pool table in so all you could hear was balls clacking all night. The first time they came to tell them to turn it down, the second time they gave them a warning and during one night, when my mum went round and asked them to please turn the music down, it got physical as one of the lads threatened my mum, I stood in front of her and another lad leant over him and punched me in the face. The police turned up and after that, the dad came round and kicked them out, he said he didn't realise it had got this bad, I said you wouldn't have as you've never been round. The dad was actually a nice guy, but It had been a year of Hell. I would definitely contact the council though, and keep a paper trail too. Hopefully it gets sorted for you, it's terrible when you can't enjoy being in your own home x

Daleksatemyshed · 03/07/2024 09:50

Report it Op, social housing is scarce now and this is a total misuse of it.

Goodadvice1980 · 03/07/2024 09:52

It’s also a safeguarding issue if the poor child has been left at the property without a suitable adult to take care of her.

ItssssAMeMariooo92 · 03/07/2024 09:58

I think I'd personally contact social services. Housing won't really bother but there's a child there who is being neglected

MrsFunkyPanda · 03/07/2024 10:00

Goodadvice1980 · 03/07/2024 09:52

It’s also a safeguarding issue if the poor child has been left at the property without a suitable adult to take care of her.

See because she turned 16 in February I didn't know if I was being a bit OTT with being concerned about that. I couldn't do it with any of mine but I'm fully aware I can sometimes be a bit too much of a mum in that respects.

OP posts:
GoingUpUpUp · 03/07/2024 10:09

If the house is managed by a housing association rather than the council, report it to them too. Some are more proactive than others on anti-social behaviour but I think it’s definitely worth doing

Itstherichthatgetthepleasureasusual · 03/07/2024 10:12

ItssssAMeMariooo92 · 03/07/2024 09:58

I think I'd personally contact social services. Housing won't really bother but there's a child there who is being neglected

Well housing should be bothered.
My neighbour is in social housing and the tenancy agreement tenants have to sign is there on line available for all to see.
It includes the duties of the tenant in maintaining the property, and garden, and also their duty to consider their neighbours. If OP's neighbour has a similar agreement they are quite blatantly breaking it. The tenant isn't even living in the property for a start.
When I reported my neighbour the council took it very seriously.

If OPs council fall down on their duty as landlord when she reports what's going on then she can go to her local councillor who should act on her behalf.

Catsfishybreath · 03/07/2024 10:13

I don't understand why an inspector from the council can't go round every six months to inspect homes and gardens to ensure they are kept to a reasonable standard.

ItssssAMeMariooo92 · 03/07/2024 14:53

MrsFunkyPanda · 03/07/2024 10:00

See because she turned 16 in February I didn't know if I was being a bit OTT with being concerned about that. I couldn't do it with any of mine but I'm fully aware I can sometimes be a bit too much of a mum in that respects.

They are still classed as a child until 18 under the local authority, so social services will definitely be able to support

ItssssAMeMariooo92 · 03/07/2024 14:55

Itstherichthatgetthepleasureasusual · 03/07/2024 10:12

Well housing should be bothered.
My neighbour is in social housing and the tenancy agreement tenants have to sign is there on line available for all to see.
It includes the duties of the tenant in maintaining the property, and garden, and also their duty to consider their neighbours. If OP's neighbour has a similar agreement they are quite blatantly breaking it. The tenant isn't even living in the property for a start.
When I reported my neighbour the council took it very seriously.

If OPs council fall down on their duty as landlord when she reports what's going on then she can go to her local councillor who should act on her behalf.

Sorry, I didn't mean it like that

I mean like social won't be bothered that the child is being left there alone, even though mum is the one who holds the tenancy. They will however be bothered about everything else that is a concern. They can't prove mum isn't living there, as she could well say that she still resides there and say she stays there once a week or whatever.

Itstherichthatgetthepleasureasusual · 03/07/2024 15:08

ItssssAMeMariooo92 · 03/07/2024 14:55

Sorry, I didn't mean it like that

I mean like social won't be bothered that the child is being left there alone, even though mum is the one who holds the tenancy. They will however be bothered about everything else that is a concern. They can't prove mum isn't living there, as she could well say that she still resides there and say she stays there once a week or whatever.

I did wonder after I'd posted whether you were actually just referring to the welfare of the teenager when you said the council wouldn't be interested.
So actually I agree with you that contacting social services about her being abandoned virtually by her mother would be the way to go.

Thirstysue · 08/07/2024 18:50

It's essentially a safeguarding issue. Needs reporting to your local safeguarding hub, to the Social Housing and to the council. Log all incidents with times and dates and if its causing a disturbance, with 101, so there's a formal log. Fight fire with fire and get rid of this woman..

Noseybookworm · 08/07/2024 19:04

Yes, please report - not only are they causing a nuisance but it's neglect to leave a 16 year old basically fending for herself. She might be being taken advantage of by older kids.

Phoenixfire1988 · 09/07/2024 08:59

Report to council , police and social services a 16 year old is still a child and she has been abandoned she is prime pickings for grooming etc so you need to report it

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