I’m not being flippant- I genuinely don’t get it- childcare costs

[Strictlymad]

Please could you knowledgeable lot help me?

I promise it’s a genuine request I’m not being flippant!

theres been a lot of posts recently about childcare costs, being better off earning less due to benefits, UC top ups etc and I don’t disbelieve this but don’t understand what I’m missing. We are struggling and not getting any help at all. There was a long thread yesterday but I’ve lost tract now and didn’t want to hijack.

situation is - dh earns 41k, I earn approx 6k self employed from home whilst also being full time carer to toddler ds who has complex medical needs, we also have 6 year old dd.

ds can’t attend childcare due to his needs so work for me is limited. Mortgage on 3 bed house is 900 in south east, dh commutes to London so running two cars. Applied for uc but not eligible, get standard child benefit. Ongoing application for dla for ds but takes months.

i do appreciate we have more than many and am grateful for that, there is more to life than money- every day I’m grateful ds is alive. I’m just curious at these posts of others saying if dh earned under 100k we would be better of cuz of the ‘help’ - is there something I’m missing!!

thanks all

In addition to this being help for childcare which you don’t use, this is also a bunch of rich people whining that they’re not getting free stuff and imagining that someone in 46K like you lives much better than they do.

Some practical steps for you:

1. it you're married, transfer your tax free allowance to your husband www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance
2. once your child is awarded DLA, claim carers allowance and update universal credit. I did some very rough calculations and I think you'll probably be entitled to UC once the DLA is in payment.
3. if your child's dla claim is badly delayed, get in touch with your (new) mp and get them to chase DWP. They have better access than the public and intervention from an MP often resolves delays
4. as long as you're still doing a bit of work or are in receipt of carers allowance, you can get help with childcare costs such as breakfast club and after-school club for your older child

Re your UC claim - if you claimed around the same time you claimed DLA it should probably be backdated to the date of the DLA claim. If you claimed after claimed DLA then UC will be backdated to when you first claimed UC. If you claimed uc more than six months ago, your UC claim will probably have closed so you might need to get advice

Oh, all the UC stuff above assumes you don't have savings over 16k

DLA won't mean that you become entitled to UC. Entitlement depends on earnings and savings. If you have over £16,000 in savings you won't be entitled. They will also assess income.

What DLA and Carers Allowance do is to make you eligible for additional elements if you do become to entitled to UC. However Carers Allowance is always deducted pound for pound as income from any UC you are entitled to.

As others have said it all depends on individual circumstances. There may be additional things you can get as a carer, including free entrance tickets and a disabled children's railcard when your child reaches the age of 5 which allows 1/3 off rail travel for any carer accompanying a disabled child.

Once you hear about the DLA award it might be worth contacting Citizens Advice to find out about any other help you can get.

I agree that it's very confusing.

May be worth checking what benefits are included in your DH's job? As even if there's nothing in the way of private healthcare at the moment, registering interest is usually something companies take seriously, and it often applies to spouses and kids as well.

Some people really understand how to get the max out of the system. Other people just aren't as clued up. I include myself in this as we've never managed to get any help.

On a sidenote - if you husband is commuting in every day I'm awe of your money management. My season ticket is £500/600 (with or without tube) so managing that with 2 kids, running a home, cars etc on a salary is £41k is impressive.

i think this is why I’m asking- I’m wondering why there’s better off on 40k cuz I don’t think we are!!

Thank you this is really helpful. We already to the marriage allowance. It seems like the dla is the key, once that’s in we can open the other doors! Thanks again

There’s deffo a mid point I think where you don’t earn amazing, but earn enough to get no help.

running a second car for us is cheaper to commute than the rail tickets, ulez exempt, office outside central congestion zone. Long mortgage - 40 years to reduce monthly to 900.

rest of budget managed with a iron fist lol- ynab is a brilliant app for looking at the budget- no food purchases out (no coffees), no take away, all own brand shopping cook at home, clothes on vinted, no paid activities/swimming lessons etc it’s doable but hard work and not much fun or frivolity lol

@Strictlymad Yeah it would be cheaper for me to drive and park in central London than pay for my monthly season ticket... but the time it would take would take is prohibitive and too stressful. As it is I drive further up the rail line to try and bring the cost down a bit. I know it's in manifestos, but I really hope whatever government we get next does something about the crippling cost of public transport. Combined with childcare costs (school age so a lot less than we paid at nursery) it's more than our mortgage each month.

That's grim, and certainly needs support. Love the idea of a book allowance, too.

On the other hand they have raised the earnings threshold for the new 15 hour funding so not entitled so will have to pay up front, reduce the sessions and hope UC pay some of it back.

I know which position I would prefer.

Sorry I meant earning over £100k not having a disabled child.

I don't know if it's everywhere but there are some charities who you can phone and they help with forms like Carers Allowance and DLA. Just from personal experience doing the forms this way was much quicker and got a faster response than when we did it ourselves

Not quite answering your question, but there should be nursery provision for your youngest if you would like them to go, if 2 or over. We have 3 nurseries in our area attached to PMLD schools so there are a nursing team on site. We have children with peg feeds, with tracheostomy, on ventilators, severe epilepsy. If your child needs 1 to 1 health care constantly, you can apply to your local CCG for a HCA or nurse to a company them to nursery, and to also give you some respite care at home too. Going for an early EHCP can also help with funding for support.

The people on UC who get free prescription and dental are on meagre earnings.
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/help-with-health-costs/help-with-health-costs-for-people-getting-universal-credit/

I don’t really know how it works but my friend who is a single mum, rents half her house (50%) shared ownership and works 2 nights a week is a lot better off than me and DH combined with two average incomes. (Approx £28,000 each) as they pay her rent and 85% of her nursery bills among other things. It’s rubbish for families with an average income who are struggling, have a mortgage but can’t get any help to make ends meet.

Her post is mainly asking why her family don't get any benefits the bring them any where near what a 100K plus earner takes homes. Hopefully all these 100K plus people who feel upset, have now realised there are very very few people get anywhere nearer benefits/childcare that bring them anywhere near thier take home salary. So they are still in the top few percent ( with all the choices they have to make things easier if they need to).

I don't think anyone needs the over 100k benefits loss thing explained yet another time! It was so many times on yesterday's post, making my violin get smaller and smaller.

The current government has not raised the tax thresholds for years, and that particular hits middle earners. This has been a stealth tax and really hasn't helped people.

I really hope you get more support OP. x

No, you're not. But there's a campaign on here by a small bunch of high earners to try to make out they are hard done by. It's no co-incidence that this has stepped up since the election was called.

Kind of in the exact same situation as you, 40k husband and I'm on about 6k too self employed and home with 1 year old twins. Husband has mortgage (house bought before we met) so don't qualify for UC. We also need to run 2 cars but one is a £300 2001 cheap one. Even with the free hours noone will take the twins for just the "free hours" which I understand as everywhere round here has a 2 full day minimum policy, I would be paying £520 per month for that one extra day which is more than I earn so no point putting them in to be honest so I work around them at the mo. I think we may possibly get help with childcare costs but it's too much of a headache as we don't qualify for anything else so I just left it!

You're not able to access benefits for costs of childcare or rent because you aren't paying those (because unable to access for dc and because of mortgage).

I’ve not read the whole thread but just wanted to reply from the aspect of DLA and UC. Our son is autistic with a learning delay and received H rate for care and mobility. I claim carers allowance as like you I can not work a job away from home due to his care needs (and he has 2 older siblings also at home). If your child is awarded middle rate care or high rate you can claim an element of UC in regard to his disability. Also look in to short breaks funding, this is funding for care on a 1:1 basis outside of the home or at home if you need time away. Our son gets 3 hours a week term time and 6 a week during school holidays. This can allow the child independence from you but also allows for other siblings to have time with one or both parents/carers as it does take its toll on the family dynamics. Finding someone can be very difficult but often if they attend an SEN school, like my son, the classroom support assistants take this work on. Not all, but some which gives reassurance as you know they know the enormity of trusting them and knowing your child will be well looked after. Childcare for children with high needs is practically zero for obvious reasons. If the DLA is awarded, it opens up other avenues for your child and family to access other support services. It shouldn’t be like that in my opinion, as not all apply for it if they don’t need extra funds to support their child’s needs and interests. But it does give an indication of their level of needs etc. I hope you get somewhere. They do backdate DLA and carers to the date of application up until a certain amount of weeks also. Ignore if you already knew all of this. 😅

You can't get the housing element of universal credit due to having a mortgage which would effectively mean that the benefits you received would be going directly into your savings as its your own home. Whereas extortionate rent to a landlord is no problem for them to pay.

You said you earn 6k a year self employed but I think for you to get funding for 30 hours a week your income needs to be a minimum of 9k a year. That would cover multiple children. Another option, is the 20% childcare contribution the gov puts in for you for working parents.

Also, have you applied for universal credit? If you do the whole process you might find you're still entitled to a little. For example, previously when I was claiming I was getting a ridiculous amount like £1 or £2 a month. However, because of this I received the cost of living payments last year and other things like free dentist and prescriptions etc. You can also upload childcare costs and they can pay up to 85% too.

Sorry if this has all been said already, I haven't read the whole thread.

Thank you Thai is really helpful- seems like the dla is the key to opening up the rest! A huge issue for my ds is picking up infection so even a nursery etc able to meet his care needs is a problem for viruses hence me staying home.