To not unblock MIL

[llebbs]

Mil has done a few different things now, each time was her either over stepping, interfering or just upsetting my child.

These things ive reacted to, by either telling her directly im not happy or telling dh.

Bearing in mind there has been plenty ive brushed under the carpet.

The times i have reacted, the focus is never on what caused me to, its always on the fact that i am. Which has led to various things like badmouthing me and blocking me on social media or whatsapp. She basically acts like a child then expects forgiveness.

To date, i have now forgiven each thing and moved on for the sake of dh, but this last time i was annoyed by how much she pushed for me to forgive her immediately that i actually blocked her. Yes petty and doing what she does, but she just wasnt respecting ny boundaries.

Anyway we have "made up" but ive not unblocked her. I feel its better this way. She can speak to dh if she needs to and i dont need to deal with her as much. But the whole family know she is still blocked (she likes to talk)

I see it as im allowing the peace to be kept by being civil

But aibu? Do i need to unblock as well if i have "forgiven" again!! Its just annoying that she keeps doing things to upset me

Without the details I can’t answer it but blocking someone just causes drama. Just mute her

It does depend on what she's done, not sure how anyone can answer without specific info.

That sounds ok to me, and like we have similar MILs!
Very prone to interfering and overbearing, and also been known to take huff with FB posts I've posted if we've had a day out without her (even if we've spent every single day out for a week with her prior!)
I can't do with the hassle /sulks/tantrums so sometimes just pre emptively block her from seeing the posts.

There was no need to quote the whole of the OP @BeachParty

Eh? Not sure what your point is
I was responding to the OP and so quoted

Not easy to say, but… forget about SM. It’s consuming people’s lives.

My Mil doesn’t have my mobile neither does my dh’s extended family, I feel that if they need to contact him they can ring his mobile or the landline, my mobile is for my children and my extended family to contact me only, savers lot of hassle

See this I do find sad despite my previous comment 😁
It all depends on dynamics though, and the people involved.
Only you know the circumstances

I find that quite odd. Are you previous about everyone having your mobile? Is it not acceptable, if for example you were taking a test or something to get a good luck message from your in laws

But everyone is replying to the OP. You don't need to quote anything unless you're replying to someone else's post.

@TheShellBeach 's point I suspect is that it's a gigantic PITA for others to have to read (or at least scroll) through the same lengthy opening post again and again and again. We've all read it already.

@BeachParty the majority of people on MN threads are responding to the OP though, can you imagine if every single poster (threads take 1000 comments), quoted everything written in the OP?!?!

@llebbs if it helps your sanity, leave her blocked.

I can’t really see how you can have a civil relationship with someone you’ve blocked. A civil relationship needs to be mutual. If they need blocking to allow you not to blow your stack at them, it’s not a civil relationship.

I’m not saying it’s necessarily your fault, you don’t provide details so I don’t know how reasonable it is to not just be able to ignore the bits you find annoying, but the idea that if you block them you can have a civil relationship seems absurd to me.

Sometimes Block = Peace

@RawBloomers
A civil relationship needs to be mutual. If they need blocking to allow you not to blow your stack at them, it’s not a civil relationship
Sometimes you need to block them from posts such as the ones blowing their stacks at innocuous stuff like days out.
Depends on circumstances

Not sure I understand this - OP might need to block her MiL from posts in which OP is blowing her stack at innocuous stuff? Or OP might need to block posts in which MiL is blowing her stack at innocuous stuff?

But either way, if either side are blowing up at innocuous stuff - I don’t see how that’s a civil relationship. And most things done to lower the antagonism is probably a good thing, but it’s not the same as it being civil.

I've had my MIL blocked on all social media for 3 years. I've also not seen her in that time although DH has taken the kis to visit her which is fine.
Can't be arsed with the drama.
She was causing drama due to social media tho so I feel like blocking her access to my social media was the best thing to do.
I've not go time for nonsense.
I'd be civil if ever I saw her but I'm not fostering a close relationship as she repeatedly showed that I couldn't trust her and she couldn't be trusted with access to my life via social media.
My view is that you don't deserve to see what your grandkids are up to (all photos that I bother to take and put up for the benefit of family like her) if you are then just going to be strange about it, start drama and constantly criticise whatever it is you see.
She complained after I blocked her to my DH that she 'misses seeing lovely pictures of the grandchildren'... well I'm sorry but you shouldn't have been a drama lama then. That was 3 years ago and I'm never going to unblock her. Life's too short to constantly be stressing about some busybody. If you want to be close family you act with love and support and If you don't you aren't going to be treated as close family.

YANBU
You are on the right track, your MIL sounds like she stirs up trouble and craves attention, especially as she's bad mouthing you which is atrocious behaviour.

For your own peace of mind, keep blocking her on SM and after all, she can't keep blocking you to cause trouble, she disrespected your boundaries and you have shown her she can't manipulate you.

YANBU. Best thing I ever did was ditch my evil MIL. Of course all of my in law's are on "her side" but they've only heard her version, and have not been putting up with her abhorrent behaviour for years. I couldn't care less. I had my say, and then blocked / moved on. No contact with any of them since.
As a family, we now have very little drama or interference, and zero blatant favouritism. Much happier household.

I don’t understand why she’d have your number, she is your DH’s mother, not yours. Just remove her from your contacts and yes, keep blocked. She can contact him, not you if she wants something. Reduce the drama by keeping her off any social media.

Oh gosh sounds like my mil, I blocked her and have never looked back, altho I went a step further and never see her again, my husband has never gotten on with his mum, I always said but she is your mum give her a chance, this would go on for years I would forgive her and move on, time and time again the same thing, it got worse after we had our daughter, so hubby and I both agreed not to have her in our life.
Sounds like you will have to continue putting up with your mil unfortunately as she will not change

All depends on what she's done.

this blocking crap is so childish, says more about you as it is a deliberately provocative, snide way to act, just archive/mute her and get on with your life and ... grow up a bit.

Why wouldn’t she have her number??? She’s her daughter-in-law, not a random stranger.