To think my manager is too critical and a micromanager, or am I terrible at my job?

[icantdothiss]

I started a new job a few months ago, and it is the kind of job where accuracy and being meticulous is important. However, I am finding the volume of negative feedback and criticism from my manager to be excessive. It has hugely impacted my confidence, and I am not sure if I am just bad at the job or whether their criticisms are excessive and overly pedantic.

We have detailed SOPs to follow that my manager developed herself as she has been at the company for years, and I try my best to follow them. However, often times I will do something wrong and receive an email telling me off for it, but as it isn't mentioned in the SOP I had no idea I had done anything wrong. All my emails to colleagues get scrutinised, and I'll be told that I had forgotten to include something (when usually I have - either earlier in the email chain, or directly in files they are reviewing). They will pick up on minor things and send me a passive aggressive email telling me that a font colour or layout I have chosen is wrong, but as she works on an iMac and uses a different type of Microsoft Office it results in things looking different and it's not that I've done anything wrong. My work is neat and clear, and I do proofread but part of being human is sometimes there may be an occasional typo in my work, which she will pick up and then send an email telling me to make sure I proofread in future as if my work is littered with mistakes. However, when I look at her work I notice typos quite often, so I feel like I'm held to higher standards than she gives herself.

I am constantly adding my manager's comments to a long list of things to remind myself not to do in the future. However, it seems excessive and like she has no trust in me to do anything right, and no grace that I'm only human. AIBU?

I don't really have any advice to offer on how to deal with it, but i was beginning to think you were one of my colleagues as this sounds EXACTLY like my boss. But, we don't have anyone new in our department so there must be multiple people like our bosses!

I feel on edge every time I send an email, just waiting for a reply from her telling me I've done something wrong, forgot to include something or questioning x, y and z. It's draining. Really draining. She goes through periods where it's worse than normal, and this past 2 weeks have been on another level. I've had to be honest with her about how she's making me feel but I think it's gone in one ear and out the other. It's her way or no way.

People like that shouldn't be managers. There's nothing wrong with wanting things done a certain way or correcting things that are wrong, but there's ways to go about it and passive aggressive emails isn't it.

It's difficult to judge, could go either way

part of being human is sometimes there may be an occasional typo in my work
depending on your role, it's really not acceptable.

as it isn't mentioned in the SOP I had no idea I had done anything wrong.
You should be able to explain that, in a friendly casual way. If the manager can't hear a word of it, then yes, they're too critical and not very good.

I don't have any specific advise but wanted to validate your concerns and anxiety.

Micro-management is a form of bullying, but unfortunately the people who do it don't recognise it, they think they have high standards, except those standards are unrealistic and often unattainable, coupled with the need for psychic skills to be able to anticipate what's in their head and what their ever-changing expectations are, often on a whim.

when a senior behaves like that, it legitimises staff to do likewise, hence why you're finding so many negative critical comments coming from your colleagues.

Im not confident you can do very much about it, as it sounds like engrained behaviour.

I'd log each incident since you started working there, so that if things come to a head, you've got a catalogue of behaviours that when shown together give a clear picture of what you've been up against. You'd also need to evidence what actions you've taken to address things you're being criticised for, in case any of them are justified.

part of being human is sometimes there may be an occasional typo in my work
depending on your role, it's really not acceptable

Of course it is. That’s why we have peer review, done in this case by the manager.

She sounds difficult OP. I would save up a few examples and sit down in a one-to-one with her and explain the impact that it’s having on your approach and confidence in your work.

If your manager is picking up on things they haven’t taught you they should probably reassess their training/pedantic list of missing requirements

I understand that it's not ideal, but I'm sorry but anything written by a human is going to have an occasional typo creeping in. My manager and I do exactly the same tasks, and I use her work as examples and I often spot several typos, even though I know how meticulous she is they still creep in. My work is mainly internal anyway, and 99% of the time nobody is even going to read through it (it is used more for documentation for our records). However, my manager once asked me to change the shade of yellow I used to highlight these as it was a different shade to what she usually uses. Things like that just seem pointless. I get that it's nice for documents to all be consistent, but the shade of yellow?

It sounds like it's having a real impact on your confidence, and it would be good to do what you can to protect that and be your own champion while you work out how to manage the situation with your boss - perhaps make a list of your own accomplishments and successes for the day on your commute home, and new skills or achievements you're developing in the role.

She sounds like a pain. Have you given her cause to be all over your work in that you’ve made bigger mistakes that’s impacted badly on her/the business?
I used to work for a manager who was incredibly pedantic and it drove me nuts. I know I’m a bit particular about things too these days but a few typos I’ll let it go. If it’s big things then it does need to be discussed.

your boss is a micromanaging menace. I used to work for someone like this and it is very draining. It doesn’t matter what you actually do or if you manage to hit all their ‘impossible to know in advance’ things that matter in any given communication they will find something to complain about.

In the team I currently manage I have someone who is responsible for doing admin tasks for a given (internal to the company) client. I get constant complaints about exactly this kind of stuff from the client. I ignore 95% of them because most of it is about exerting control and being a bully.

The complaints they make will be things like “she should have used 16pt rather than 18pt font size in the ppt” or “I wanted the pictures to be round not square” or “why did she send the email to those people” when sending the same monthly email to the same monthly distribution group!

I can’t really offer you any advice other than to let you know other people do understand and it is difficult to deal with.

It’s hard to know. I’m currenlty having to micro manage one of my line reports because he’s not performing. He has ADHD and can’t currently access medication so obviously I’m making allowances but on top of my own workload it’s exhausting, and nothing is improving