Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Want to split but trapped in one bedroom flat mortgage

6 replies

Plantparent · 02/07/2024 17:02

I have been with my partner for 6 years and we own a one bedroom flat. I've been burying my head in the sand for a long time about how incompatible we are and pretending everything is OK but the truth is we are not.

He has done nothing wrong, treats me well and is kind to me but I'm no longer feeling it any more and we haven't been intimate all year. We've argued about this multiple times and nothing changes. I feel like I'm ready to move on, however I absolutely adore my home. I feel stressed by how trapped I feel and utterly depressed that I am living a lie and guilty because it is especially unfair to him.

I live far away from my family so if we broke up, I would not be able to get to work-rent prices are very high where we are and I would have nowhere to go whilst we wait for the sale to go through. As its one bedroom, we would have to still share a bed in the interim, I think this would destroy my mental health. We pay 50/50 mortgage each month but he is on a much higher salary than me. I cannot afford to buy him out as I no longer have any savings due to me being in debt. I don't think he is in a position to do so either. I could really use some advice, any is much appreciated!

OP posts:
GabriellaMontez · 02/07/2024 17:04

What's your ideal scenario?

Selling it or him buying you out?

Pippa12 · 02/07/2024 17:05

Could he take on the mortgage and you rent a room or find shared accommodation while the sale/divorce goes through? Perhaps he feels trapped too? Maybe if you try to end things now it could be an amicable break for the both of you. Hard couple of years, but ultimately better than staying in a dead relationship wasting your prime years?

Twoshoesnewshoes · 02/07/2024 17:07

Is it possible to use this as an opportunity for a move - new job, different area with more affordable rents?

NonPlayerCharacter · 02/07/2024 17:09

I cannot afford to buy him out as I no longer have any savings due to me being in debt. I don't think he is in a position to do so either.

You won't know until you ask him. You need an honest conversation to end the relationship and work out together how to move on from each other financially.

MightWusk · 02/07/2024 17:15

Get a job closer to family and move there while it's all going through. I dont think you should be prioritising bricks over genuine happiness.

NewGreenDuck · 02/07/2024 17:36

Far better to get rid of the flat , move on and be happy elsewhere /with another, than waste your life for a heap of bricks and mortar.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread