To buy and write out birthday cards for friends and some family up to a year ahead?

[Rockitlikearedhead]

I’ve been feeling recently that I’d like to be better at celebrating friends’ birthdays. Since having children, I’ve been mostly rubbish at this, but now they’re older I’d like to make more effort. But I can also be stupidly busy at times and miss stuff - like I might be organised enough to buy a card well in advance, but then I’m too late to write and post it. So I was thinking I might buy and write cards all in one go, or 6 monthly or something, and then I only have to remember to post them on time (which somehow seems more manageable!) AIBU??

Buying the cards and even addressing the envelopes sounds like a brilliant idea- but I wouldn’t write the message a year in advance. Anything might have happened in that year such as a bereavement, new job, new puppy etc etc that you might want to reference in the card.

I have a card diary/ file and buy cards in advance but writing them is a bit weird!
It takes seconds to write a card and stick a stamp on.

Writing them in advance is a bit pointless as you'll just end up with generic messages surely? Otherwise though sure why not.

Much easier to get Moonpig or equivalent to remind you and then let them send the card .

Buying them online through one of the card companies helps here. You can set it up so that they email reminders in advance and then once you’ve selected and purchased the card you can schedule delivery for the relevant time. Game changer.

My friend does this, in blocks of a few months. She buys and addresses the cards, but leaves it until just before posting before writing the messages. Seems like a good system to me!

Buy in advance by all means, get an organiser with monthly tabs to have them all prepared, as well

but if you write so little that you can finish them a year in advance, you might as well buy a stamp.

I am grateful for any card, but I can never understand why people bother sending them when all they write is "happy birthday"

I couldn't do this. It would feel like tempting fate. But you're probably not as crazy as me, so go for it!

It’s going too far to write them. Maybe pop reminders in your phone if remembering is a block. I keep a box of birthday cards, general cards and thank you cards in my house with stamps: I find it reduces the multiple steps and it’s easier to pull out what you need once they are already bought.

I also keep a collection of children’s presents and some adult presents for emergencies. Things like a pillow spray or good hand cream that I can give to anyone.

Yes, by all means buy and 'allocate' the cards with a post-it, but don't write the actual card months in advance.

Aside from new babies who don't get a mention, and deceased family members who do, any small things could have changed in their family circumstances in the meantime.

Just as two of many possibilities, what if you'd bought them one of those 'humorous' cards based around drinking lots of alcohol on your birthday, then one of them had since come out as an alcoholic; or worse, had known somebody close who was killed or injured by a drunk driver? Or if you'd got them a 'ooh, you're so old, you probably can't remember how many candles there are on your cake!' 'funny' cards and, in the meantime, they've been diagnosed with dementia?

Also, you can plan ahead for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and the like; but you still have to take notice and act quickly and accordingly for cards for bereavements or serious illness and similar.

In fact, you could find that, once you get a reputation for being hot on promptly sending over the cards for all the predictable annual events, it could work against you and make you look even worse and uncaring by contrast if you then drop the ball for a card for a non-predictable event. It might look like you've ignored or snubbed them terribly, whereas for Uncle Kevin who never remembers any cards, "Well, that's just him, isn't it - he's a bit hopeless but he means well!"

Also, I presume our town isn't unique in seeing the 'last collection' at all/most of the post boxes brought forward to 9am, so don't get caught out there. Effectively, first-class post has now slowed down to a minimum of two days, as you have to post it the night before/very first thing to make sure that it's collected and then hope your posties don't just stuff them through any old door at the other end, as ours frequently do.

I buy mine a year in advance, barring a few odd special ones. I have one of those stretchy folders with a section for each family we buy for and sort them out for the year but I don’t write them until they’re due. That would feel odd!

Every so often I will buy half a dozen good quality blank cards to use for any occasion, and I buy family cards well in advance, also anniversary cards. I enjoy taking the time choosing nice ones. I don't write them until I am going to post them, same as PP.

Sometimes you just can't plan, eg friend's DD having twins and nobody knowing the sexes in advance. Although TBF when they were born I couldn't find a nice boy and girl twin card anyway!

Also if you do buy in advance, remember where you put them🤔

I know it only takes seconds, but the number of times I can look at a card and think “I should write that, it’s nearly X’s birthday” and still not do it, is incredible!! Similarly taking them to work to write - and this is with stamps in my purse! Tbh I think I do mostly write generic messages 😳which actually is mostly what I receive when I get cards, I think, which I’m fine with, the card and the effort is the bit I appreciate (not that I get many cards from friends).

I think I might write them monthly - I’ve thought about that before, but I then worried that I’d miss those birthdays at the start of the month - if I set a calendar reminder though for the first of the month and then write them up until the 10th of the next month, then that might work??

Hmmm, good point - although I’d likely be fairly vocal about my strategy which might mitigate against this!!

My mum does this. She buys all the cards she needs for the year but she writes in them before she sends them off.

You could use moonpig or similar, they do email reminders but the cards are more expensive compared to buying from a shop

When I was overseas I used to use one of the online services like Moonpig at the start of the year and schedule cards for all birthdays, special days etc. To be sent for the correct dates. It costs a bit more, and the cards are typed rather than handwritten and you do have to be a bit more generic with the content. But if you have a family that place a high importance on you remembering their special days it can be a lifesaver if you are not great at remembering that kind of thing.

My aunt does this, up to including a prewritten unsigned cheque.

We're buying sticky labels for Christmas with a blank "to" and a family greeting pre printed.

Seems a bit pointless to me? What happens when you'll inevitably forget where you put the cards you wrote 6 months in advance?

If it's such an onerous task that requires planning up to a year ahead, surely you can scrap it altogether? I know I'd much rather receive a heartfelt text on the day than a generic card written God knows when because you felt you had to.

Or you could move with the times and just send a message via WhatsApp or similar instead.
Only the small children and elderly still get cards from us now

I am one of those people who think cards are a waste of time, paper and stamps but have people who like to receive them . They just get a generic message though!

This is the kind of thing that I think of when I hear 'generic greeting'

All my nephews and nieces, and most of my family have birthdays April to June. I posted the April ones together, then did a big post box dump of all of May and June in mid May.
My reasoning was you cannot rely on the post these days.

I have to say it was SO much easier!

@Rockitlikearedhead I do all mine on the day I turn the calendar over for a new month. I have a specific birthdays calendar with all birthdays on. Write them, address them, stamp them, then pile in order for posting by the front door. I still sometimes lose track of time but generally that helps.

I buy cards every quarter too, and have a cute card box for them to go into. Caters for any that pop up too that aren't on the calendar.

Tbh that’s what I’ve been doing for years - that or messages on fb, it’s just that I really appreciate getting cards and I think my friends would appreciate it too - might be wrong though!